A really good friend of mine brought up something recently, that I just cannot seem to shake: She told me how everyone that asks about her kids asks her what the kids call her (since she is a lesbian and her partner is the birth mother). Now, this really bothers me, because I would think that if it were a straight person, the question would be something related to, “how are your kids?”, “are they growing?”, “are they talking?”, etc. But no, people keep asking her, “So what do your kids call you?” Now keep in mind, this is either the first thing or within the first couple of things they ask her. That is why I think it bothers me so much! Now, this is my only question: is it so confusing for people that are not in same sex relationships to understand that if you have two mommies, you call them both mommy? Or, if you have two daddies, you call them both daddy? Or you can call one mom and one mother, or call one dad, and one father?
Who cares whether it is mom or mommy, but the point is, you would call them what they are: your mom or dad. Why is that so damn confusing??? I guess it just bothers me, because I see that as what I have to look forward to, I can guarantee there are going to be some pretty sarcastic comments coming to anyone who asks me or my partner what our kids call us.
What do you think? Do you think that it is absurd, or do you think that I am off by thinking that people should just understand that having same sex parents doesn’t confuse the children, and shouldn’t confuse the role of the parent? Do you think that I am off in expecting people to see people for who they are, instead of trying to place them into pre-determined gender-roles and family categories? (and for the record, I am talking, primarily, about people that are very gay friendly, and that both know the parents are gay, and are completely fine with it)
11 comments for “Mom, mommy, dad, daddy???”