sotd: Sam Smith – Stay With Me

So apparently, Sam Smith was on SNL this past weekend, and I only found out when I just happened to flip it on. I was elated, as I have been OBSESSED with him lately, and for great reason; this guy is so ridiculously talented, and it showed strongly on his live performance of this song on SNL. I am not one who typically pre-orders albums, but I am doing just that for his debut, In The Lonely Hour, which is out on June 17th. This song is officially on repeat.

I am going to go ahead and officially say that this guy is definitely the next big thing. I expect GREAT things from him, and I can’t wait to hear more!!

best songs of 2013

I know I haven’t been too much of a blogger these days, I know, I know, but I finally have a list of my favorite songs from 2013 ready for you. Here it goes, my favorite 75 songs of 2013:

  • 1. Sara Bareilles – Brave
  • 2. City and Colour – Of Space and Time
  • 3. Lady GaGa – Applause
  • 4. The Saturdays – What About Us
  • 5. Icona Pop – I Love It (feat. Charlie XCX)
  • 6. Haim – The Wire
  • 7. Britney Spears – Perfume
  • 8. Paramore – Still Into You
  • 9. Selena Gomez – Come and Get It
  • 10. Bonnie McKee – American Girl
  • 11. Bastille – Pompeii
  • 12. Dawes – Most People
  • 13. Iggy Azalea – Change Your Life (feat. T.I.)
  • 14. One Direction – Best Song Ever
  • 15. London Grammar – Strong
  • 16. Little Mix – Change Your Life
  • 17. Miley Cyrus – We Won’t Stop
  • 18. The 1975 – The City
  • 19. Beyoncé – XO
  • 20. MKTO – Classic
  • 21. Avicii – Wake Me Up (feat. Aloe Blacc)
  • 22. A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera – Say Something
  • 23. Janelle Monáe – Q.U.E.E.N. (feat. Erykah Badu)
  • 24. MSMR – Hurricane
  • 25. Justin Timberlake – Mirrors
  • 26. RuPaul – Peanut Butter (feat. Big Freedia)
  • 27. Naya Rivera – Sorry (feat. Big Sean)
  • 28. Zendaya – Replay
  • 29. Hayden – Almost Everything
  • 30. CHVRCHES – We Sink
  • 31. Mayer Hawthorne – Her Favorite Song
  • 32. Lorde – Royals
  • 33. Jessie J – It’s My Party
  • 34. Ariana Grande – The Way (feat. Mac Miller)
  • 35. Boyzone – Love Will Save The Day
  • 36. Vanbot – When My Heart Breaks
  • 37. Olly Murs – Right Place Right Time
  • 38. Ellie Goulding – Burn
  • 39. Major Lazer – Bubble Butt (feat. Bruno Mars, 2 Chainz, Tyga & Mystic) [Remix]
  • 40. Jessie Ware – Wildest Moments
  • 41. Tom Odell – Another Love
  • 42. Tegan and Sara – Shock To Your System
  • 43. The Lone Below – Green Eyes and a Heart of Gold
  • 44. Kodaline – All I Want
  • 45. Fergie, Q-Tip & GoonRock – A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got)
  • 46. Ciara – I’m Out (feat. Nicki Minaj)
  • 47. Katy Perry – Roar
  • 48. Demi Lovato – Heart Attack
  • 49. Cher – Woman’s World
  • 50. Lana Del Rey – Young and Beautiful
  • 51. The Wanted – We Own The Night
  • 52. Rosi Golan – Curtain Call
  • 53. Delta Rae – If I Loved You
  • 54. Zedd – Stay The Night (feat. Hayley Williams of Paramore)
  • 55. The National – Demons
  • 56. NONONO – Pumpin’ Blood
  • 57. Drake – Hold On, We’re Going Home
  • 58. Fifth Harmony – Miss Movin’ On
  • 59. Robin Thicke – Give It 2 U (feat. Kendrick Lamar)
  • 60. Blue – Hurt Lovers
  • 61. Blush – Miss Out
  • 62. Chase and Status – Alive
  • 63. MIKA – Popluar (feat. Ariana Grande)
  • 64. 30 Seconds To Mars – City of Angels
  • 65. Lilly Allen – Hard Out Here
  • 66. Lindsey Ray – Ordinary Extraordinary Love
  • 67. Nikki Williams – Glowing
  • 68. Backstreet Boys – In A World Like This
  • 69. Sleigh Bells – Bitter Rivals
  • 70. Solange – Lovers In The Parking Lot
  • 71. Bear’s Den – Agape
  • 72. Cash Cash – Take Me Home (feat. Bebe Rexha)
  • 73. BANKS – Waiting Game
  • 74. Shane Filan – Everything To Me
  • 75. New Kids On The Block – Remix (I Like The)

Next up: my favorite albums of 2013… I promise!

a little reflection

A little over 3 months ago, I switched from working at an LTAC, long term acute care, hospital to working in the emergency department. The LTAC was my first job after nursing school, and it was grueling, exhausting, and often very trying. It was no stretch to say that I was kind of miserable a lot of the time. When my contract was up, I was hopeful that I would be able to move to a new area of nursing specialty at the hospital, because I really liked working for this hospital, and I was delighted when I interviewed and was hired to work in the ED. While I was excited, I was also terrified; I had been told by a lot of nursing instructors that I would love the ED, but I was still pretty nervous (especially given my experience in nursing so far), because if this was a bust, what the hell was I going to do?

With that being said, I started on nights, and I really started to enjoy my job. I liked the people working on nights, and actually found that I was getting a lot more satisfaction out of my job; more so than I ever had before. Additionally, I found that I was less unhappy when I wasn’t at work, and I didn’t dread going to work anymore. I think it really hit home, when James mentioned that he noticed I didn’t really complain about work anymore; which is something I was really happy to hear.

As I was hired with the intention of going to day shift, the time came recently for me to go to days, and again, I found myself very nervous. When I switched over to days a couple weeks ago, I was really nervous not only because I had gotten to like working with the night time crew, but also, because I was worried that I was going to dislike anything about days. This had a lot to do with the fact that I had finally found a place I felt like I fit in within nursing. Well, I can certainly say, that while I miss my night time comrades, I find that I have been enjoying working days as well; and a bonus is I don’t have to deal with the fucked up sleeping schedule.

I am pleased that I have found a place in nursing that I actually love, and even more so, that I can actually say that I love being a nurse (most of the time… after all, there are parts none of us nurses like!). That just makes me really, really happy. Things are kinda good, and I am okay with that!

I’m coming out… I want the world to know…

Today is National Coming Out day! Today is a great day in which we look to our fellow gay community to celebrate being who you are, and letting everyone know how proud you are to be who you are. Coming out is the best way to not only be yourself, but also to bring visibility to the gay community as a whole; people get to see just how many of us there are among them. Coming out is a celebration, and a giant step in the life of any gay man, lesbian woman, trans individual, bisexual person, or questioning person.

Let’s not forget, however, that coming out is an intensely powerful statement, not only to oneself, but also to those around them. Coming out to yourself is a monumental step for every single LGBTQ person, and it is one that often takes years of struggle, soul searching, and coming to terms with your own identity. There are those of us that find it easy to come out, and there are those of us that struggle for years, even a lifetime, to either come out to ourselves, or to those around us (or both). Some people struggle with this more than others, and remember, especially on days like this, that they deserve our love and support, because they are grappling with understanding and embracing their very fundamental being.

I write about this so that people who have not come out, and thus cannot fully and truly understand the powerful ramifications coming out has to a queer person, can better grasp the magnitude of such a statement. I also write about this, so that we can share in understanding just how much of a celebration this day should be; and anyone’s coming out day, for that matter.

I. Am. Gay. While it’s something that seems so small and innocent, it is in fact something that is not only hard to say, but it can be almost impossible to accept for oneself, as well as for those around them.

Honor those that speak loudly about who they are, and be proud of those that represent us in the public eye. Applaud and celebrate those that find themselves, and are out and proud as gay, lesbian, trans, bi, and queer individuals; I can assure you that they did not come to this place lightly, and being who you are takes a ton of courage. This is something that should be celebrated when it happens for anyone, because it marks a monumental phase in someone’s life; the moment when they are finally free to be who they are. Never let yourself fall into the space of questioning why someone has not come out if you believe them to be LGBTQ, because coming out isn’t as easy for everyone; trust me, it took me quite a while to get here myself.

So let’s celebrate today for what it is; a statement, a purpose, an understanding that someone finally get’s to be themselves. There really is no better feeling than the moment when you can finally say to yourself, and to the world…

I’m gay and proud, damn it!

…AND, I want everyone to know!! Happy Coming Out day, everyone!

10 years

Back in 2003, I had this friend. He and I were pretty close, but little did I know, we were about to get closer. He was sort of “tricked” into confessing that he liked me more than a friend, and with this information, I decided to see where it might go. We were worried that it had the potential to ruin an amazing friendship, but sometimes, the risk is worth it.

This time it paid off.

10 years

Yesterday, September 14, 2013, James and I celebrated our 10th anniversary. We have been through some amazing times and some not so amazing times, but I couldn’t imagine a better partner to have at my side than him. He makes me laugh, he consoles me when I cry, he has stood by my side, and has been there with me through some pretty hard times. We have been on this journey for 10 years, and while there have been ups and downs, the journey has been amazing. I truly hope that this is the beginning of a lifetime together.

I love you James. You are the best partner that anyone could ever hope to have in life; and I am lucky enough to call you mine.

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes are comin’

Well, I didn’t think I could make it. I didn’t think I’d be able to do it. When I started at LTAC, I really, seriously, honestly, did not think I would make it through my two year contract. Ladies and gentlemen, that contract ended today.

I haven’t said anything yet, because I have been waiting until it was time to move on, and honestly, I don’t know how I really feel about everything, to be honest. It hasn’t really hit me yet that I will be moving to a new department, and essentially, on a new type of nursing. About a month ago, I interviewed for, and got a job in the Emergency Department.

Now, the funny thing here, is that I have always wanted to work in the ED. In nursing school almost every clinical professor, almost every instructor told me I was destined for the ED, but I didn’t know. I still don’t. I hope that it is a good fit for me. I am sort of excited, mostly nervous, but trying to let it register, mostly.

Here’s hoping that this is exactly what I wanted, no, NEEDED, from nursing. I thrive on learning, becoming better, and helping people. This is a big step. This is a big change… but it’s one that it is time to make!

Shit

Well, it looks like I broke my blog’s template/theme (just by updating the theme); one that I spent a long time perfecting, and honestly, have NO IDEA how to fix since it’s been so long.

So in the process of trying to fix it, I failed. Miserably. I fucked up the entire site, and for hours, I thought I had lost everything.

This brings perspective.

This brought an idea: new beginning.

So long as my posts and content are still here, the theme, and looks of the blog seem to have been in need of a change, and this was the way my blog let me know that. With that being said, I am making some changes starting today.

Yeesh, what a headache.