Category: wtf?!

all about me, concerts, get over it!, is it just me?, music musings, venting, wtf?!

two things I would do differently, if I were in a band

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Last night, I went with James and Broderick to see the amazing Bat For Lashes at the Loft, and she was, well, amazing (albeit, a bit strange… she really takes being “alternative” seriously). I really enjoyed her set (Natasha Khan was admittedly outstanding live), and even the opening band, Other Lives, was quite amazing as well (they reminded me a lot of the Decemberists). However, I had some gripes about the show in general, and I came up two things that I would do differently, if I were in a band, and performed concerts for people.

1. I would come out a lot sooner after the opening act.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I understand that sound checks and whatnot need to happen. However, they could happen before the show starts; your gear was up on the stage while the opening act played, so don’t act like you couldn’t have done a sound check before they went on. Also, if you MUST do a sound check (if that really is the reason you wait so long to come out after the opening act), why does it take so long? Seriously, if it is longer than 30 minutes, you are leaning heavily into being just plain rude; and I don’t care who you are, you are not that important, so stop being a diva. My feet hurt, and it is hot, and waiting forever in order for you to grace us with your presence is really starting to push it.

2. I would use the fucking lights, and not play in the dark.
As much as I love going to concerts, I love taking concert pictures just as much. I like to get a neat shot of the person that I payed to see perform, which for me, is a major keepsake, and a memory of my experience. However, and this is a big however, when they perform in the dark, it is not only hard to see them with my naked eye, but it is damn near impossible to get a decent picture. So for my show, you would see me flooded in light, actually performing for a crowd; not hiding in the dark while I sing on stage. I would also make sure to have a little stage presence; she was bent over or had her back to the audience most of the show.

Looking back at the night, I thought I had more things that I would do if I were in the band, but I guess the other gripes I had about the show had nothing to do with the actual performance. First of all, I may sound like an old codger, but it was way too fucking loud at that show. Those of you that have been to the Loft know that it is a small space, and it really doesn’t need to be EAR BLEEDINGLY loud for the show to be good. I want to be able to continue listening to the good music that I came out to see after the show ends, afterall.

Also, after Bat For Lashes finished their “1st set” (you know, the fake, “goodnight!” before coming out to play basically the second half of your show), I was pretty tired of standing in the front, so I asked James and Broderick if they were ready to head to the back, and maybe even home (my feet were hurting because we waited forever for her to take the stage, afterall). While walking through the crowd, this guy that was several rows of people behind us says to me as I pass him something to the effect of, “hey big guy! you are so freaking tall! you were blocking us all night! glad you are leaving!!!”. Being who I am, I couldn’t let a bitchy remark go without retort, so to that, I leaned into him, and made sure to say loud enough so his short ass could hear me, “Well, now you’ll know to get here earlier next time, so you can stand up front, won’t you?”.

Seriously. You came to a standing room, general admission concert, and you are bitching because someone 6’1″ is standing in front of you?! Go fuck yourself, munchkin; it isn’t my fault that a) you are shorter than me, nor more importantly, b) that I got there earlier than you and found where I wanted to stand, and did so because I knew that it was standing room only, general admission. I honestly couldn’t believe he had the nerve to bitch about it, especially when there were several people around me that were the same height as me, but I digress.

Overall, the show was great, and I can just add these to my “general gripes” about things in life. Ah, first world problems… so much fun to bitch about, eh?

all about me, blog on blog, civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

Yelp: a(nother) soapbox for bigots?

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Imagine my surprise when someone requested to be friends with me on Yelp today, and I find out that he is writing extremely hurtful and bigoted remarks about me in one of his “reviews”. Not only did he post the review, but after it was taken down, he was allowed to remain member of Yelp, AND, re-posted a similar version of the review just a few minutes later.

Here’s what he said (the first time around), in “response” to my review of my experience at Green’s Liquor store:

After reading Duane M. review of Green’s Beverage Store, I had to fire back. I visit Green’s Beverage store once or twice a month. Everyone there has always been very nice and helpful.
However, I have never carried a purse and I don’t understand why a man would. You said you are not a woman, but after reading all your reviews you sure do act and bitch like a woman. Come on, we all know that someone that wants to homosexualize America likes to pretend that he is a woman. Perhaps Duane should take the dildo out of his ass!! Fucking pussys like you make me sick. When you choose to suck another man’s dick or take some guys cock up your ass, you become a 2nd class citizen. You have no right to ever bitch. Please keep your mouth shut and get back into the closet.
hmmmm, and you wonder why most of America hates gays.

So eloquent. Let’s look at the face of a true bigot, and oh so clearly one of the highest forms of complete and total asshole, Jake P. of Dacula, GA, shall we:


Just take it in… all that asshole-ishness is almost too much to contain. By the way, nice lip gloss, Jake.

Now, the review was flagged, and eventually taken down, and I didn’t even know about it until I randomly read this thread. However, Yelp allowed him to post another review, very similarly filled hate speech as the first one:

After reading Duane M. review that he likes to dress up like a woman and wants to homesexualize American, I had to do something. I go into Green’s a few times a month and everyone is very nice and helpful.
But, Duane with his fag bag is acting like a little bitchy woman.
Perhaps if Duane got his dildo out of his ass, all of America would be a better place to live in. Duane what you wrote about Green’s was pure hateful, you being a little light in the loafers should understand what is it to be hated.
You are not a woman, your worse. Your a 2nd class citizen, start acting like one.

That second review was even better, Jake flexes his superior knowledge of all things grammar (um, it’s you’re, sweetness, not your).

While this will probably be taken down as well (I’m fairly certain it has of this posting), I can’t help but question why Yelp would allow someone like this to remain a member of their site? As a member of Yelp for YEARS, I was honestly considering deleting everyone of my reviews and publicly declaring myself against their organization; especially because they did not initially seem to have much concern for their members (if only because this guy was allowed to go on posting hate speech, even after he was “punished” for doing it the first time). Not only am I extremely offended by the bigot that was allowed to spread his hate about me without any repercussion (on a public website that I am willingly a part of), but I am even more upset that they there was very slow response to one member of their site clearly gay bashing another (my point being that he was allowed to continue using the site with no restriction).

Well, I sent this post to the Atlanta Ambassador for Yelp, and I got an answer and a clear and expected response, and they are taking care of it. That is a major plus in the Yelp column. As I mentioned above, I considered severing ties with Yelp, because I have had enough people call me a faggot to my face during my lifetime, to continue supporting a web service that just gives someone the platform to do it to me on the internet. However, because of Yelp’s positive and proactive actions, I will not go that far. HOWEVER, and that is a BIG however, I still think that people like this should be banned from the site after a post as bad as his was; 3 strikes is clearly 2 too many with things like this. A first offense of this nature should not be tolerated. If you are clearly bashing another member of the site, do you really deserve a chance to keep contributing? It honestly destroys my hope for humanity when people like this rear their ugly heads, and spread their hatred for all to see.

UPDATE: BANNED. Yelp wins. AWESOME. Thank you YELP!!! I really makes me happy that Yelp takes things like this seriously.

Yeah, you’re right… being gay isn’t all that bad anymore. Being second class isn’t that big of a deal. Things are just swell for us, and we should stop complaining. RIIIIGHT.

get involved, is it just me?, near and dear, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

teacher furloughs: a new low for Perdue

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When James mentioned that they were going to be asking teachers to take 3 unpaid days to “make up for a huge deficit”, I honestly thought he was joking. Since he is teacher, I have had a first hand account of out what really goes on inside the schools, and it actually blows my mind that our governor would want to take even more from those that have very little to give.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but the salary of a teacher isn’t a large one, and the job is grueling. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen him deal with horrible students, angry parents, and have the administration turn their backs on him every time; and he is not alone, MANY of my friends are teachers and deal with similar issues every day. He works his ass off, and the thanks he gets is a meager salary (ESPECIALLY when you consider the work put in, it should be MUCH higher), zero respect from students, parents, and the administration; and now a demand from our “wonderful” governor to give some of it back. How much do teachers need to give before we let THEM have something back?!

Since everyone should be giving back, Sonny Perdue, why not give some of your salary back? If this deficit is such an issue, why not make cuts on other things, things that are not as important as the education of our state’s youth? I can’t find a direct comparison, but I’ve heard many times that Georgia’s school rank very low when compared nationally, which to me, would indicate a severe NEED to make it as good as possible. Taking from those that give so much for so little is not only wrong, but frankly, it is completely insulting. Someone that is sitting so happily in his ivory tower as Perdue could never, and apparently will never, grasp how difficult the job of teaching youth really is; hell, I only hear the stories, and I know that I could never do it. To me, this is a slap in the face of our state’s teachers, who already contend with a drastically underfunded educational program in the first place.

It sickens me the way that teachers are treated, because it is perhaps one of the most (if not THE most) important jobs one can have. Sonny Perdue, this is not only wrong, it is shameful and hurtful that you would expect even more from those that give everything they have, and take a pay cut in doing so. I hope that the rallying of teachers can strike this ridiculous request down, but knowing how “caring” Perdue has been up until this point, I can bet that teachers should expect just another big old helping of shit to add to their already difficult professional lives. Shame shame shame.

is it just me?, tragic, venting, wtf?!

why do I always attract “that girl”?

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Saturday night, some friends and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather, and chose a restaurant with a big patio (the Midway Pub in the EAV) for dinner. Overall, it was a nice dinner, a friend of mine in from out of town made friends with a neighboring table, and we all had a good time. Until…

As we were eating, some random chick came up and put her hand on James’ and another friend of mine’s backs, and asked us if there was anything that she could do to make our evening any better. We thought that she worked at Midway, because she looked back at the restaurant when she said it, and well, why the fuck else would she be talking to us, asking us if she could make our night better, right? Wrong.

This bitch was drunk off of her ass, and started to molest my friend Brian, and then started making her way around the table, towards me. I had a basket of tater tots sitting in front of me, and she leans in, takes one, and dips in my ketchup on my plate, and eats it. Having had enough of her, I told her that I had boundaries, and that she just crossed one, and needed to back the fuck off.

The best, is that she leans back, and drunkenly says, “Jesus, I eat one fucking hush puppy, and he gets all uppity”. To which I replied, “they are tater tots, dumb ass, and you need to go away right now”.

What is it about me that always attracts these social retards? Seriously, I don’t care how drunk you are, don’t come over to my diner table, and start eating off of my plate, that is not only rude, it is just gross. Personal boundaries are one thing, and social cues are another; this girl clearly had no concept of either. Thank goodness she took my direct instruction to leave us alone, and finally did so.

After she left, my friend joked that she was probably hitting on us, to which I replied, “she clearly had no idea how far up the wrong tree she was barking”. Little does she know, but being a gay man means that I don’t have to put up with drunk straight girls and their antics, and I have no problem saying so.

blog on blog, civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

with a “role model” like this…

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Who needs enemies? ESPECIALLY when this particular “role model” is nothing but a non-celebrity that is using his crass, bitchy, and bitter attitude to do nothing but bring the rest of us down to his level. Unfortunately, the person I am speaking of, is faux-celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, and his latest stunt that is bringing even more shame on the gay community.

Yes, the dumb ass got punched in the face by someone he refers to as a “thug”, and I will go on record as saying that I personally do not approve of anyone being assaulted for any reason. However, one must account for the fact that he has made a career out of exploiting and making stuff up about other people (as well as continued betrayal of our community from within), and in this instance, he escalated the situation himself, even though he claims he would never resort to violence (Um, Perez, dear, violence can definitely be verbal; perhaps you need some education on that subject?). While I may not think that it was right for him to get assaulted, I hope that this incident can give him some foresight into just what he is doing to the gay community as one of its representatives (even though I am sure I am not alone in saying that we don’t want him).

With people like Perez Hilton being just one of the many faces of the gay community, we are completely going backwards in helping our struggle of gaining acceptance and credibility in this world. We can never expect to be taken serious about equal rights, especially with regards to the diminished use of hate speech, when loud mouthed hypocrites like Perez continually throw around the very hate speech that we are fighting to stop.

So I say:

Perez, from one gay person to another, can you PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP and go away, for the sake of the VERY community that you SAY you are so concerned about? Your incredibly long 15 minutes of fame has done nothing but shine a bad light on our community, and your continued self defamation has not been, nor will no longer be, welcome; especially from me.

Do I need to remind you that this month marks the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots; which is rightly regarded as the first time gays and lesbians took a stand and fought back, which in turn, became a symbol of the beginning of the fight for gay rights? Do I need to point out that 40 years in, and representatives of our community, such as yourself, are continuing to bring us down? Is this how you honor the fight, and the anniversary of our struggle this month?

I’m not glad that you got punched in the face, but the fact that you, a gay man, got punched in the face because you antagonized someone (whose sexuality is irrelevant), by calling him a faggot is beyond reprehension. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself. If you truly care for your community, as you say that you do, why not be a good example, instead of continuing to be a thorn in our paw? Your behavior has consequences, and continuing down the road of ignorance you so willingly travel just is not acceptable.

YOU are causing harm to our community, and YOU need to stop it. Calling out others, like Ms. California, was a “nice gesture”, but you are doing far more damage by continuing to fan the flames of your incredibly self-unaware hypocrisy.

I want equal rights, Perez, I really do. I believe in my heart that you do to. So why not be a voice for the gay community that is anything but utterly destructive? Do you have it in you to be anything other than hypocritical and bitter? For the sake of our public image, I certainly hope so.

civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, that is so gay, venting, well?, wtf?!

um, thanks… FOR NOTHING

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It seems that my outrage yesterday was a little less than it should have been. Turns out, the gesture Obama tried to placate us with, was worth nothing:

The memorandum Obama signed Wednesday is not expected to grant health and retirement benefits to same-sex partners, as that is prohibited under the Defense of Marriage Act.

(source)

That’s right, fellow gays and lesbians, say it with me; we are STILL:
SECOND.
CLASS.
CITIZENS.

…and it doesn’t look like that is going to change any time soon.

This is not just disappointing, it is outrageous. This is a major slap in the face, Mr. President, and it will not be ignored. What was initially seen as a cop out, is now an empty promise worth practically nothing. Sure, I know you are limited by DOMA, but this empty gesture is not good enough, and frankly it is insulting that you would think that it is worth anything at all.

Perhaps I am being too harsh though… as you do care, right? Allow me the chance to give you the benefit of the doubt; you did say,

“I believe it’s discriminatory. I think it interferes with state’s rights, and we will work with Congress to overturn it.”

(source)

So when can we expect this to happen? If you really want to do something for gays and lesbians, DO SOMETHING. Instead of handing us empty promises, why not take actions that would actually matter? If striking down DOMA is what it will take, why didn’t you propose legislation to do just that; instead of handing us this bullshit?! Saying that you are against something while doing absolutely nothing to stop it, implicates you as a willing accomplice. Mr. President, you are guilty of standing by while we are again, discriminated against, publicly, by our government. It is going to take more than a strongly emphatic “opposition” (with a current obvious lack of any sign that you will actually do more than “be against it”) to make a difference, and I for one am waiting to see if you will actually do anything you continue to promise. The problem is, I am losing my patience.

Again, Mr. President, I am outraged at the sheer lack of support for the community that supported you so ferociously during your rise to power; only to be ushered to the back of the bus once you took the podium. For shame, Mr. President, for shame. I only hope that you will bring the change that you promised, and stop trying to sell us snake oil instead. This is one member of the gay community that is rapidly losing support for the great man that I thought you were.

civil rights, listen up!, politics, that is so gay, well?, wtf?!

um, thanks?

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Am I the only one who thinks that Obama’s recent act of granting benefits to same sex couples is kind of, well, a cop out? First of all, it is only for federal employees, which is definitely nice, since I work for the government, and know many people that will be able to take advantage of this, where they couldn’t before. However, as a contractor for the government, I work for a company that already has these benefits in place; so it doesn’t really affect me other than my thinking it’s a nice gesture. Again, it’s nice, and I am happy he decided to do it, but this is a very, very minor gesture that will have little to no impact in the actual need for our civil rights to be recognized nationwide.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that Obama is in a place of intense scrutiny and has a lot on his plate. However, if he really wanted to do something that would actually impact our community, how about addressing the myriad of issues that currently make things difficult for us? Placating a handful of us with same sex benefits just isn’t going to make us content enough to say thanks and feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

If he really wanted to do something that would make a definitive impact, that would be a true gesture of ushering in what I would consider an actual move in the direction of true equality, why not tackle the right to fire clauses that SO MANY businesses still have on the books? There are tons of businesses out there today that still have the right to fire people because of their sexuality on their books; which I would venture to guess comprises tons more employees than the government boasts. I just think it would be more worthwhile to make moves to actually making us equal citizens, and things like same sex benefits for government employees would follow these moves in the right direction.

I really hate to be a cynic, but this type of cop out really needs to be called out for what it is; a dog and pony show to mask his recent approval of DOMA. There are so many issues that affect our community, Mr. President, and seeing as how we threw our support behind you in the election, how about something a little bit more substantial; something that will actually benefit all of us? The slight of hand is not going to make us think for one second that we are actually getting more in the civil rights department. In other words, there is nothing to see here folks, keep moving, and keep hoping for something that would deserve more than a thumbs up from a handful of people.

all about me, is it just me?, venting, well?, wtf?!

to the sexist asshole at the liquor store:

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No, I am NOT a woman; men can carry bags for their shit these days too. No, I will not leave my $400 bag with ipod, wallet, sunglasses, etc. behind the counter, because, if for NO OTHER REASON, women are allowed to carry their bags throughout the store; and therefore, so should I.

Basically, some guy who works at the liquor store came over to me, and bitchily asked me to leave my bag at the counter, to which I replied, “do you ask women to leave their purses at the counter?”. He replied, “no, but are you a woman?”. Clearly, I am not a fucking woman you asshole, but that doesn’t make any difference, I will not leave my bag behind the counter for the same reason that women do not have to. It is the same as a purse, so get the fuck over it. My bag wasn’t even big enough to put a bottle of alcohol in without it clearly being noticeable; so what was all the fuss about!?!

What I should have done was just put down my basket full of booze, and walked the fuck out, but instead, I just told him that he would just have to get over it, because I was almost done shopping anyway. What I found interesting, is the lady at the counter heard it all, and said that the reason he approached me, was because he must have thought it was a “backpack”; which interestingly enough, the woman behind me in line was actually wearing, and had carried throughout the store with no fuss.

Needless to say, I won’t be going back into that liquor store (Green’s on Buford Highway), and as such, won’t have to worry about whether or not I can carry my belongings with me; like all the women are allowed to do. Clearly, they don’t need my business, so I can go elsewhere!

is it just me?, mixed media, movie musings, shiny stuff, venting, well?, wtf?!

sony fail: let me count the ways

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So I finally caved and bought a PS3. I was hoping there would be a price drop announced last week at E3, which is what I have been waiting for before I bought one, but there wasn’t even a hint of such a thing happening any time soon. Since the PS3 is only $100 more than a Blu Ray player, I felt it would make more sense to get the PS3, so that I could have both, and so I did.

After un-boxing the mammoth console, I got my first taste of what will surely be a long list of Sony FAIL. The PS3 has been, and continues to be touted as THE system for HD; and it continues to claim itself as a revolutionary system with the highest quality video for games and movies. Well, some of that is true… and some of it is not. First of all, I think that it is almost a slap in the face of the consumer to ask them to pay $400 for a machine that will revolutionize their HD experience, and box the motherfucker with composite cables; which any A/V geek knows does NOT have the capability of displaying HD! Additionally, the companion HDMI cable marketed and sold by Sony for the PS3 is $60. For shame, Sony; you expect me to shell out ANOTHER $60 just to get the HD quality you promised for $400? Assholes.

Luckily, I have an HDMI cord that I wasn’t ass raped for (ahem, I didn’t buy it at Best Buy), and I just used it to connect the PS3. Crisis averted… HD was mine; and you know what, it is impressive. We played a few Blu Ray movies, and they were impressively crisp. I really can tell the difference in standard DVDs being upscaled, and a true Blu Ray HD DVD. Again, very impressive, you break even, here Sony.

Now comes FAIL #2. I bought Little Big Planet, and Resident Evil 5 (RE5 was for James, and I figured, since the PS3 is new, why not get it for that system?!) because I wanted to have at least a couple of games for the PS3. LBP is really cute, but I noticed the graphics were a little rougher than I was expecting; after all, it is plugged into my TV through HDMI, so it should be just as amazing as the Blu Ray, right (ESPECIALLY on a title like LBP, which is exclusive to the PS3)? WRONG. Turns out, Sony doesn’t really have the goods to back up their claims. The best they can do is 720p on most games, and the two that I got both fall into this category. Even though I have the PS3 output set to 1080i, and my TV can display 1080i, it can only display these games at 720p (this is a known, but quiet, issue). I wish that I would have gotten RE5 for the Xbox, because even my Xbox 360 exceeds the PS3 by upscaling everything to 1080i, and I can bet the graphics would be a little better. FAIL FAIL FAIL. Sure, it is only a minor thing, but when you buy something that expensive that is supposed to be so “AWESOME11!!1!!”, then disappointment is pretty much the word that comes to mind when you think about the whole scenario. When it comes right down to it, Sony, you do not have the HD system that you claim to; at least, you aren’t letting us use it to its full potential, anyway.

Needless to say, I am a bit disappointed. I will be making sure I keep a close eye on games that I get for the PS3, because if I can get a better version of the same game for the Xbox 360, Xbox will win this battle every time. Also, as of writing this, my Xbox 360 is only hooked to my TV through component cables, and the games look better than the 2 PS3 ones I have tried. Sure, there are some out there that will do 1080, but I am just shocked that PS3 doesn’t upscale ALL games like the Xbox does; especially when they claim the PS3 is so much better than the Xbox 360 (which, judging by the two titles I have, certainly isn’t true game wise).

As far as I am concerned, while I am glad I got the PS3, I can’t believe how much fine print, and blatant trickery Sony has instituted into their “AMAZING!!! SYSTEM!!1!11!!!!”. Seriously, Sony, you need to really get over yourself and stop the quick slight of hand, which I am sure has made customers other than myself more than a bit peeved as well. This leaves Sony with a score of negative one; let’s hope that time will allow them to break even, and make this consumer happier with his VERY extravagant and expensive purchase.

UPDATE: HOW COULD I FORGET THE LACK OF SUPPORT FOR PS2 GAMES?? Epic fail continues…

all about me, school, tragic, venting, wtf?!

I’m this close

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…to completely giving up. I have applied, taken classes, kissed ass, sent in form after fucking form, and it is all apparently not enough. I cannot get into a fucking nursing program to save my life. I am really close to just saying, “fuck it, universe, you win”. I just got off of the phone with GPC to ask why my status wasn’t changed on their website, because I have sent in the “change of status” form 3 times now, and I have found out that they still haven’t changed it, and want me to resubmit it. What for? Just for shits and grins? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

If I hear ANYONE say anything about how they “can’t believe that there is such a shortage of nurses” in Georgia, I will let them know why. I am smart, have great grades, and most of all, the drive to do the damn job, and even I can’t get my foot in the door. I have been trying to get into other schools, and they keep listing me as an out of state resident, which both quadruples the tuition, as well as puts me at the end of the list, after all of the in state residents (which is practically an instant rejection, since there is such a shortage of these programs in Georgia). I can see why kids graduating from college in Georgia could have a bleak outlook for their future; good luck finding college in this state.

Needless to say, I am MORE than frustrated right now, but I am VERY happy that I at least have a job; no I am not that diluted by my disappointment to forget that majorly important fact.

/upset rant