Saturday night, some friends and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather, and chose a restaurant with a big patio (the Midway Pub in the EAV) for dinner. Overall, it was a nice dinner, a friend of mine in from out of town made friends with a neighboring table, and we all had a good time. Until…
As we were eating, some random chick came up and put her hand on James’ and another friend of mine’s backs, and asked us if there was anything that she could do to make our evening any better. We thought that she worked at Midway, because she looked back at the restaurant when she said it, and well, why the fuck else would she be talking to us, asking us if she could make our night better, right? Wrong.
This bitch was drunk off of her ass, and started to molest my friend Brian, and then started making her way around the table, towards me. I had a basket of tater tots sitting in front of me, and she leans in, takes one, and dips in my ketchup on my plate, and eats it. Having had enough of her, I told her that I had boundaries, and that she just crossed one, and needed to back the fuck off.
The best, is that she leans back, and drunkenly says, “Jesus, I eat one fucking hush puppy, and he gets all uppity”. To which I replied, “they are tater tots, dumb ass, and you need to go away right now”.
What is it about me that always attracts these social retards? Seriously, I don’t care how drunk you are, don’t come over to my diner table, and start eating off of my plate, that is not only rude, it is just gross. Personal boundaries are one thing, and social cues are another; this girl clearly had no concept of either. Thank goodness she took my direct instruction to leave us alone, and finally did so.
After she left, my friend joked that she was probably hitting on us, to which I replied, “she clearly had no idea how far up the wrong tree she was barking”. Little does she know, but being a gay man means that I don’t have to put up with drunk straight girls and their antics, and I have no problem saying so.
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