Category: venting

civil rights, listen up!, that is so gay, tragic, venting, wtf?!

Atlanta gay bar, The Eagle raided

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UPDATE on the Eagle raid: I no longer THINK this was discriminatory, I know it was. This comment literally send shivers down my spine:

Du-Wayne Ray, store manager of Rawhide Leather, which operates below the Eagle, said that he and one of his employees heard one white uniformed officer say to another, “This is a lot more fun than raiding n***ers with crack.”

Ray said he was handcuffed for an hour-and-a-half to two hours on the back deck of The Eagle, and said, “A lot of anti-gay comments were made.”

This is an outrage. Atlanta police should be extremely forthcoming with formal apologies to anyone and everyone involved; additionally, a formal apology to the gay community should be submitted. This level of discrimination is shocking and unbelievable; especially when it comes from the very people that are supposed to keep us safe. Bigotry in any form cannot be tolerated, and this again, is just shocking to know that it came from Atlanta police officers.

I honestly can’t believe that this happened, here in Atlanta, last night. I thought we were living in a more progressive city, but it just goes to show, you aren’t safe from discrimination anywhere.

civil rights, hmm interesting, is it just me?, that is so gay, venting, wtf?!

a lot of little things really add up

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I just took a survey in order for $20 credit added to my account for a website I bought a product from. To be quite honest, I was sort of offended that I was not given any option other than single, married, widowed, divorced, or separated in the relationship question field. Since none of those apply to me, I left that question blank, but the survey wouldn’t submit without it, so I had to chose an incorrect response.

I know it may seem “meager” or “nit-picky” but it’s honestly little things like this that constantly reaffirm the second class status of gay people. I ended up emailing them, because sometimes, it really is simple ignorance, and I was hoping that was the case in this instance. Here was the email I sent:

I just took the survey on your website after committing to buy one of your products, and I find it interesting that you don’t offer an option for same sex couples. Clearly, we cannot get married in most parts of the US, as well as most of the world, and I am slightly offended that I was required to answer the question as a part of your survey; because I am neither single, NOR married. Granted, I didn’t have to take the survey, but since I did, I felt compelled to drop you a line to let you know that a simple inclusion field for partnered/in a relationship would clear this whole thing right up; that, or not requiring that I answer the question with an incorrect answer. Thanks, Duane Moody

They replied with:

Hi Duane,
You are absolutely correct. We need to fix this survey right away – and we will do so as soon as possible.

Like I said, this may be incredibly minor, but when you take a bunch of minor things (as well as some major ones) they start to really add up after a while, and every new one is just a reminder of every other one before it. I can now cross this one off the list, and appreciate the fact that they responded quickly and kindly. I am sure that a lot of people see it as complaining, and sweating the small stuff, but I see it as all part of the bigger picture. We have to be recognized as equal; not just considered later when we bring it up that we were excluded.

This is not really a “little thing”, but there was a raid on the Eagle last night, that reeks of Stonewall-esque civil rights infringement, and it really brings home the point that I am trying to make about our struggle being FAR from over. Some thoughts about the Eagle raid: while they may have gone in on suspicion of “seedy” behavior, and they may have been well within their rights to shut things down for not having the proper permit, from the sound of it, they had a very heavy hand in doing so. I know that if I would have been there, legally drinking in a bar, one that holds a legal liquor license, and would have been handcuffed OR searched, without explanation, I would have been outraged. Even though I wasn’t there, I can’t help but read this, feel as though The Eagle and its patrons were being targeted because it was a gay establishment. I don’t like to think those things, but the description (especially the recall of one person who was there) of the event, makes almost impossible not to.

Honestly, if it is what it sounds like it is, it is really unbelievable that it happened; not only in Atlanta, but in 2009. I, for one, would like to know why the cops aren’t out there working on stopping the violent crimes that have been escalating over the past couple of years; instead of raiding gay bars? If we have such a “shortage” of funds and police force, why are they focusing on the lack of a permit for dancers in a gay bar, instead of bigger, more dangerous stuff? Couldn’t they have issued some kind of warning, or citation that would certainly wouldn’t necessitate a raid? Again, the more I look at this situation, the more it reeks of discriminatory action. I’m interested to see how this Eagle raid story develops, and I hope that it doesn’t fall squarely on the ever-growing list of acts discrimination against gay people in this country; because whether the items are big or small, it’s a really long list.

all about me, show the love, venting

if you can’t say something nice

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… you aren’t supposed to say anything at all, right?

Well, that’s good advice for where I am at right now. Whether it is just general malaise for things that are going on around me, or outright disgust for others, I don’t have much in the way of positive words of wisdom right now; and I’m trying not to unleash a constant stream of complaints.

As such, I’ve decided to just see if it will blow over, and I am hoping that it will; much sooner, rather than later. Until that time, I will do my best to keep these feelings out of my mind, and off of my blog (this would be a reason for the lack of posts recently… that and the funk I’ve been in).

Despite all of the aforementioned negativity, I was introduced to Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka this weekend, and I would be happy to pontificate about its greatness all day long. Seriously, this shit is amazing. Thanks goes to Davidly for formally introducing me to what I am sure will become a new obsession of mine. It may be minor, but this little treat certainly cuts the focus on the cynical and negative, and that is definitely a good thing.

all about me, concerts, get over it!, is it just me?, music musings, venting, wtf?!

two things I would do differently, if I were in a band

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Last night, I went with James and Broderick to see the amazing Bat For Lashes at the Loft, and she was, well, amazing (albeit, a bit strange… she really takes being “alternative” seriously). I really enjoyed her set (Natasha Khan was admittedly outstanding live), and even the opening band, Other Lives, was quite amazing as well (they reminded me a lot of the Decemberists). However, I had some gripes about the show in general, and I came up two things that I would do differently, if I were in a band, and performed concerts for people.

1. I would come out a lot sooner after the opening act.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I understand that sound checks and whatnot need to happen. However, they could happen before the show starts; your gear was up on the stage while the opening act played, so don’t act like you couldn’t have done a sound check before they went on. Also, if you MUST do a sound check (if that really is the reason you wait so long to come out after the opening act), why does it take so long? Seriously, if it is longer than 30 minutes, you are leaning heavily into being just plain rude; and I don’t care who you are, you are not that important, so stop being a diva. My feet hurt, and it is hot, and waiting forever in order for you to grace us with your presence is really starting to push it.

2. I would use the fucking lights, and not play in the dark.
As much as I love going to concerts, I love taking concert pictures just as much. I like to get a neat shot of the person that I payed to see perform, which for me, is a major keepsake, and a memory of my experience. However, and this is a big however, when they perform in the dark, it is not only hard to see them with my naked eye, but it is damn near impossible to get a decent picture. So for my show, you would see me flooded in light, actually performing for a crowd; not hiding in the dark while I sing on stage. I would also make sure to have a little stage presence; she was bent over or had her back to the audience most of the show.

Looking back at the night, I thought I had more things that I would do if I were in the band, but I guess the other gripes I had about the show had nothing to do with the actual performance. First of all, I may sound like an old codger, but it was way too fucking loud at that show. Those of you that have been to the Loft know that it is a small space, and it really doesn’t need to be EAR BLEEDINGLY loud for the show to be good. I want to be able to continue listening to the good music that I came out to see after the show ends, afterall.

Also, after Bat For Lashes finished their “1st set” (you know, the fake, “goodnight!” before coming out to play basically the second half of your show), I was pretty tired of standing in the front, so I asked James and Broderick if they were ready to head to the back, and maybe even home (my feet were hurting because we waited forever for her to take the stage, afterall). While walking through the crowd, this guy that was several rows of people behind us says to me as I pass him something to the effect of, “hey big guy! you are so freaking tall! you were blocking us all night! glad you are leaving!!!”. Being who I am, I couldn’t let a bitchy remark go without retort, so to that, I leaned into him, and made sure to say loud enough so his short ass could hear me, “Well, now you’ll know to get here earlier next time, so you can stand up front, won’t you?”.

Seriously. You came to a standing room, general admission concert, and you are bitching because someone 6’1″ is standing in front of you?! Go fuck yourself, munchkin; it isn’t my fault that a) you are shorter than me, nor more importantly, b) that I got there earlier than you and found where I wanted to stand, and did so because I knew that it was standing room only, general admission. I honestly couldn’t believe he had the nerve to bitch about it, especially when there were several people around me that were the same height as me, but I digress.

Overall, the show was great, and I can just add these to my “general gripes” about things in life. Ah, first world problems… so much fun to bitch about, eh?

all about me, blog on blog, civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

Yelp: a(nother) soapbox for bigots?

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Imagine my surprise when someone requested to be friends with me on Yelp today, and I find out that he is writing extremely hurtful and bigoted remarks about me in one of his “reviews”. Not only did he post the review, but after it was taken down, he was allowed to remain member of Yelp, AND, re-posted a similar version of the review just a few minutes later.

Here’s what he said (the first time around), in “response” to my review of my experience at Green’s Liquor store:

After reading Duane M. review of Green’s Beverage Store, I had to fire back. I visit Green’s Beverage store once or twice a month. Everyone there has always been very nice and helpful.
However, I have never carried a purse and I don’t understand why a man would. You said you are not a woman, but after reading all your reviews you sure do act and bitch like a woman. Come on, we all know that someone that wants to homosexualize America likes to pretend that he is a woman. Perhaps Duane should take the dildo out of his ass!! Fucking pussys like you make me sick. When you choose to suck another man’s dick or take some guys cock up your ass, you become a 2nd class citizen. You have no right to ever bitch. Please keep your mouth shut and get back into the closet.
hmmmm, and you wonder why most of America hates gays.

So eloquent. Let’s look at the face of a true bigot, and oh so clearly one of the highest forms of complete and total asshole, Jake P. of Dacula, GA, shall we:


Just take it in… all that asshole-ishness is almost too much to contain. By the way, nice lip gloss, Jake.

Now, the review was flagged, and eventually taken down, and I didn’t even know about it until I randomly read this thread. However, Yelp allowed him to post another review, very similarly filled hate speech as the first one:

After reading Duane M. review that he likes to dress up like a woman and wants to homesexualize American, I had to do something. I go into Green’s a few times a month and everyone is very nice and helpful.
But, Duane with his fag bag is acting like a little bitchy woman.
Perhaps if Duane got his dildo out of his ass, all of America would be a better place to live in. Duane what you wrote about Green’s was pure hateful, you being a little light in the loafers should understand what is it to be hated.
You are not a woman, your worse. Your a 2nd class citizen, start acting like one.

That second review was even better, Jake flexes his superior knowledge of all things grammar (um, it’s you’re, sweetness, not your).

While this will probably be taken down as well (I’m fairly certain it has of this posting), I can’t help but question why Yelp would allow someone like this to remain a member of their site? As a member of Yelp for YEARS, I was honestly considering deleting everyone of my reviews and publicly declaring myself against their organization; especially because they did not initially seem to have much concern for their members (if only because this guy was allowed to go on posting hate speech, even after he was “punished” for doing it the first time). Not only am I extremely offended by the bigot that was allowed to spread his hate about me without any repercussion (on a public website that I am willingly a part of), but I am even more upset that they there was very slow response to one member of their site clearly gay bashing another (my point being that he was allowed to continue using the site with no restriction).

Well, I sent this post to the Atlanta Ambassador for Yelp, and I got an answer and a clear and expected response, and they are taking care of it. That is a major plus in the Yelp column. As I mentioned above, I considered severing ties with Yelp, because I have had enough people call me a faggot to my face during my lifetime, to continue supporting a web service that just gives someone the platform to do it to me on the internet. However, because of Yelp’s positive and proactive actions, I will not go that far. HOWEVER, and that is a BIG however, I still think that people like this should be banned from the site after a post as bad as his was; 3 strikes is clearly 2 too many with things like this. A first offense of this nature should not be tolerated. If you are clearly bashing another member of the site, do you really deserve a chance to keep contributing? It honestly destroys my hope for humanity when people like this rear their ugly heads, and spread their hatred for all to see.

UPDATE: BANNED. Yelp wins. AWESOME. Thank you YELP!!! I really makes me happy that Yelp takes things like this seriously.

Yeah, you’re right… being gay isn’t all that bad anymore. Being second class isn’t that big of a deal. Things are just swell for us, and we should stop complaining. RIIIIGHT.

get involved, is it just me?, near and dear, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

teacher furloughs: a new low for Perdue

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When James mentioned that they were going to be asking teachers to take 3 unpaid days to “make up for a huge deficit”, I honestly thought he was joking. Since he is teacher, I have had a first hand account of out what really goes on inside the schools, and it actually blows my mind that our governor would want to take even more from those that have very little to give.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but the salary of a teacher isn’t a large one, and the job is grueling. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen him deal with horrible students, angry parents, and have the administration turn their backs on him every time; and he is not alone, MANY of my friends are teachers and deal with similar issues every day. He works his ass off, and the thanks he gets is a meager salary (ESPECIALLY when you consider the work put in, it should be MUCH higher), zero respect from students, parents, and the administration; and now a demand from our “wonderful” governor to give some of it back. How much do teachers need to give before we let THEM have something back?!

Since everyone should be giving back, Sonny Perdue, why not give some of your salary back? If this deficit is such an issue, why not make cuts on other things, things that are not as important as the education of our state’s youth? I can’t find a direct comparison, but I’ve heard many times that Georgia’s school rank very low when compared nationally, which to me, would indicate a severe NEED to make it as good as possible. Taking from those that give so much for so little is not only wrong, but frankly, it is completely insulting. Someone that is sitting so happily in his ivory tower as Perdue could never, and apparently will never, grasp how difficult the job of teaching youth really is; hell, I only hear the stories, and I know that I could never do it. To me, this is a slap in the face of our state’s teachers, who already contend with a drastically underfunded educational program in the first place.

It sickens me the way that teachers are treated, because it is perhaps one of the most (if not THE most) important jobs one can have. Sonny Perdue, this is not only wrong, it is shameful and hurtful that you would expect even more from those that give everything they have, and take a pay cut in doing so. I hope that the rallying of teachers can strike this ridiculous request down, but knowing how “caring” Perdue has been up until this point, I can bet that teachers should expect just another big old helping of shit to add to their already difficult professional lives. Shame shame shame.

is it just me?, tragic, venting, wtf?!

why do I always attract “that girl”?

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Saturday night, some friends and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather, and chose a restaurant with a big patio (the Midway Pub in the EAV) for dinner. Overall, it was a nice dinner, a friend of mine in from out of town made friends with a neighboring table, and we all had a good time. Until…

As we were eating, some random chick came up and put her hand on James’ and another friend of mine’s backs, and asked us if there was anything that she could do to make our evening any better. We thought that she worked at Midway, because she looked back at the restaurant when she said it, and well, why the fuck else would she be talking to us, asking us if she could make our night better, right? Wrong.

This bitch was drunk off of her ass, and started to molest my friend Brian, and then started making her way around the table, towards me. I had a basket of tater tots sitting in front of me, and she leans in, takes one, and dips in my ketchup on my plate, and eats it. Having had enough of her, I told her that I had boundaries, and that she just crossed one, and needed to back the fuck off.

The best, is that she leans back, and drunkenly says, “Jesus, I eat one fucking hush puppy, and he gets all uppity”. To which I replied, “they are tater tots, dumb ass, and you need to go away right now”.

What is it about me that always attracts these social retards? Seriously, I don’t care how drunk you are, don’t come over to my diner table, and start eating off of my plate, that is not only rude, it is just gross. Personal boundaries are one thing, and social cues are another; this girl clearly had no concept of either. Thank goodness she took my direct instruction to leave us alone, and finally did so.

After she left, my friend joked that she was probably hitting on us, to which I replied, “she clearly had no idea how far up the wrong tree she was barking”. Little does she know, but being a gay man means that I don’t have to put up with drunk straight girls and their antics, and I have no problem saying so.

flickr, is it just me?, listen up!, that is so gay, venting

it is NOT sexual preference!

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I don’t know how many times I have seen people refer to sexual orientation as sexual preference, but each and every time it pisses me the fuck off. Whether you choose to rest on ignorance or not is no excuse; the word preference is indicative of choice, and being gay is NOT A CHOICE.
FYI:
So therefore, if you CHOOSE to use the phrase sexual preference, I may CHOOSE to punch you in your fucking ignorant ass neck. I’m just saying.

all about me, friends, home improvement, venting

big fucking circle of dirt

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So as I previously mentioned, I got a pool. It is an Intex above-ground, “EASY set” 15′ X 42″ pool. The reason why easy is in quotations, is because while it may be easy to set up, it is only easy if you have a level yard to set it up on. Well, we don’t. So, I decided that I could level it, because I was getting the pool goddammit, and shifting some dirt around would certainly not deter me.

On Saturday, my friend John helped me empty and spread the 500lbs of sand we bought on Friday, and while that was a difficult task in and of itself, it was then that I painfully realized that this was going to be a task that would be more intense than I was expecting. We discussed getting a truckload of dirt to level the yard, but renting a tiller seemed more realistic to me, so on Sunday, that’s just what I did. James and I got home about 3:30 with the instrument of death ahem, I mean, tiller, and we took turns tilling the ground until about 8pm last night.

EVERYTHING on me has been rattled to within an inch of completely falling off of my body. I am sore in places that I didn’t know existed, and the ground STILL isn’t level. While I am beaten, bruised, and certainly exhausted, I will NOT give up. When I am soaking in my sweet ass pool later this week, I want to be able to look back and think about this very moment, because it will make it seem even more amazing than I am sure it is going to be.

I hope that the ground will remain somewhat level for next year, or I making myself a promise here and now, that I will hire someone before I step behind a tiller again! Stay tuned for more, exciting pool news (that will actually include details ABOUT THE POOL!!!)!!

blog on blog, civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

with a “role model” like this…

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Who needs enemies? ESPECIALLY when this particular “role model” is nothing but a non-celebrity that is using his crass, bitchy, and bitter attitude to do nothing but bring the rest of us down to his level. Unfortunately, the person I am speaking of, is faux-celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, and his latest stunt that is bringing even more shame on the gay community.

Yes, the dumb ass got punched in the face by someone he refers to as a “thug”, and I will go on record as saying that I personally do not approve of anyone being assaulted for any reason. However, one must account for the fact that he has made a career out of exploiting and making stuff up about other people (as well as continued betrayal of our community from within), and in this instance, he escalated the situation himself, even though he claims he would never resort to violence (Um, Perez, dear, violence can definitely be verbal; perhaps you need some education on that subject?). While I may not think that it was right for him to get assaulted, I hope that this incident can give him some foresight into just what he is doing to the gay community as one of its representatives (even though I am sure I am not alone in saying that we don’t want him).

With people like Perez Hilton being just one of the many faces of the gay community, we are completely going backwards in helping our struggle of gaining acceptance and credibility in this world. We can never expect to be taken serious about equal rights, especially with regards to the diminished use of hate speech, when loud mouthed hypocrites like Perez continually throw around the very hate speech that we are fighting to stop.

So I say:

Perez, from one gay person to another, can you PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP and go away, for the sake of the VERY community that you SAY you are so concerned about? Your incredibly long 15 minutes of fame has done nothing but shine a bad light on our community, and your continued self defamation has not been, nor will no longer be, welcome; especially from me.

Do I need to remind you that this month marks the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots; which is rightly regarded as the first time gays and lesbians took a stand and fought back, which in turn, became a symbol of the beginning of the fight for gay rights? Do I need to point out that 40 years in, and representatives of our community, such as yourself, are continuing to bring us down? Is this how you honor the fight, and the anniversary of our struggle this month?

I’m not glad that you got punched in the face, but the fact that you, a gay man, got punched in the face because you antagonized someone (whose sexuality is irrelevant), by calling him a faggot is beyond reprehension. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself. If you truly care for your community, as you say that you do, why not be a good example, instead of continuing to be a thorn in our paw? Your behavior has consequences, and continuing down the road of ignorance you so willingly travel just is not acceptable.

YOU are causing harm to our community, and YOU need to stop it. Calling out others, like Ms. California, was a “nice gesture”, but you are doing far more damage by continuing to fan the flames of your incredibly self-unaware hypocrisy.

I want equal rights, Perez, I really do. I believe in my heart that you do to. So why not be a voice for the gay community that is anything but utterly destructive? Do you have it in you to be anything other than hypocritical and bitter? For the sake of our public image, I certainly hope so.