Well, to my one-derful, kind-of-internet-stalker, fan. I wanted to write this post as a symbol of my gratitude, and as a way to bestow a huge THANKS(!1!!!11!!) for his continued love and attention! I am so flattered that I don’t even know where to begin…
Perhaps it could best be described by a monologue, from a scene in the 1981 movie, based on the best-selling memoir of Christina Crawford, titled Mommie Dearest. The scene I speak of, is the one where Joan, after staying home from the awards show, comes out to greet the press and her fans who are waiting outside of her house, to accept the Academy Award for Best Actress she has just won for Mildred Peirce:
I would rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world!
You, all of you here, and everywhere, gave me this award tonight.
And I accept it from you, and only you.
I love all of you!
This is such a wonderful sentiment, that I am clearly speechless, and extremely touched! Now, while, I know that in my case, the award I am receiving isn’t an Academy Award, I do know, that it is as equally flattering and wonderful: my award is constant idolatry and attention, from the one and only atlmalcontent.
I am truly happy to know that even though there are people who are insecure and unhappy with themselves, by distracting themselves in worshiping the rest of us, who are trying our best just to be happy and live our lives, they start to feel a little better inside. I am honestly flattered by the whole thing, to be honest, even though in this case, it has proven to be sort of a love/hate crush (he says he hates me, but his constant attention and obsession proves that he really loves me), that has definitely had its ups and downs in the past. But, from now, and through the future, things will be different. Please don’t mistake this post as sarcasm, ladies and gents, this sort of love doesn’t come around everyday (or does it?), and I for one, am extremely flattered that I could stay so constant in someones mind, that they would literally think of me so much and so often, that I am literally always on the tip of their tongue. I am honestly a bit ashamed that I never acknowledged it on this grand of a scale before now. I don’t want to let my fans think that I don’t appreciate their love; especially not this fan in particular.
Now, I know that I am, according to him, an “easy target”, and you know, I guess he is right. I believe that label really applies to anyone that just lives their lives, trying their best to be happy with what they have been given. It is true; we will always be easy targets to those whose lives are driven by the quest to focus solely on finding what they deem “wrong”, “beneath them”, and somehow “messed up” in the world. Sadly, this continual quest on which they travel, is merely a distraction from what they are ashamed of within themselves, and echoes the true grip their insecurities have on their lives. It is important for this type of person to continually belittle those of us that they deem “easy targets”, because it distracts them, even if it is only for a moment, from the daily misery that they suffer from.
What I feel that I have neglected to truly acknowledge in the past, is how important we easy targets are to these types of people, and how grateful I am, that I can provide some joy and comfort to at least one of them. I, for one, am glad that I can be that light in someones life, that they can turn to, make fun of, and somehow feel better for a moment. I am honestly honored and elated that, by trying to belittle me, poke fun of my opinions and silliness, and through constant and desperate attempts to try and tear me down, that someone can truly make themselves feel better. If I gain nothing other than that feeling of warmth and joy in my heart that comes from knowing that these attempts to portray me as less than themselves, are somehow making them feel better about their own internal misery; I have honestly gained all that I could ever ever hope for: I have gained the ability to make someones life a little bit happier, just by being myself. There are very few that can truly know that they have made a difference in someone else’s life, and even if I am only passively making someones world a brighter place, then I am extremely proud to be a part of the journey (even if the attempts to tear me down are sadly misrepresentative of who I really am).
One might think, that if I were truly “whiny, self-absorbed, ill-informed, materialistic[,] and uncultured” (as atlmalcontent, says that I am), the very person that believed these things to be true about me, wouldn’t bother with paying so much attention to me. But, it has become clear to me, now more than ever, that it is his belief that I am what he says that I am, and that this is the reason he continues to fixate on me. I think that by trying to characterize me as these things, he somehow feels better about who he is, or perhaps more importantly(?), who he is not. By convincing himself that I am what he says, and that I am somehow beneath him, he becomes (even if falsely) elevated to a place where he can feel better about himself. Knowing that this is why he tries to tear me down with constant misrepresentations, allows me gain a new perspective, and to truly appreciate, these attempts to bring some joy into his life. I am honored that I can be the one to provide that joy for him, and, even it is if only briefly, relieve him from some of his internal misery and crippling insecurity.
I am glad to know that anything and everything that I can say or do, as well as the simple fact that I am who I am, causes one to become fixated on the need to bring me (and others like me) down; even if it is only an effort to make themselves feel better. I am honestly honored and deeply touched, that I could continually bring this sort of positive energy into one’s life.
And it is this knowledge, that compels me to say thank you, atlmalcontent, thank you from the bottom of my heart, for giving me such a meaningful purpose, by bringing true moments of happiness to those like you.
I am literally grinning from ear to ear this morning from all of the love that you, atlmalcontent, continually bestow upon me. I am truly flattered, and that is why I wanted to write this little thank you post to you, my one-derful, devoted fan. Thank you again, buddy! I hope that you have an amazing day, a truly glorious weekend, and an amazing year; because you deserve it. I really mean that, I want you to be happy. I know what it is like to be plagued with insecurity and self hate, and if I can make you feel better about your own, just knowing that makes me feel good. I promise that I will do my best to bring you more “stupid” writing, and more “hilariously uncultured” quips for you to flock to, in your attempts to bring me down for your own distraction and well being. We all want to be happy, and if I can be a part of making you feel better about yourself, I am deeply honored, and want to do everything I can in making the world a better place for those like you. Luckily, all that is required of me, is my presence. Here’s to joy!
Thanks for proving me right.
As I said, anything for you, darling.
If you aren’t concerned that what he is saying may actually be true, why do you care so much that he’s saying it?
I care, because it truly flatters me, that by trying to bring me down, he, in turn, feels better about himself. It still doesn’t matter to me what he says (because, as you pointed out, it isn’t true), the point is that he is saying it, and somehow feeling better because of it. This is what I wanted to acknowledge, as well as thank him for the attention, and honor that I get to make his life better. I am glad that his trying to make fun of me relieves him from some of his insecurity and self hate.
As Martha says, “it’s a good thing”, dave! It’s all about the love here ad duanemoody.com, I tell ya!!
hehe… ok… take it that way.
I’m not trying to make fun of you — I AM making fun of you.
Though it is a weird fixation he has, you yourself have been quite nasty to me, so it looks like your karma to me. The cycle is what you want.
You would have to be saying things that are true, which you aren’t, and you would have to be causing me hurt or bad feelings, which you aren’t. Instead, you are trying to bring me down, to make yourself feel better, by attempting to make fun of me. Again, I am elated that I am able to be there for you. Thank you for your continued idolatry!!!
Bugboy, I haven’t been any nastier to you than you have to me.
Duane, you’ve entered yourself into a public forum. People will disagree, and sometimes use humor to illustrate that disagreement. That doesn’t make them stalkers or self-loathers (and never forget, you threw the first stone calling me self-loathing — I had never said a word about you). If you don’t want to be criticized, don’t have a blog. I don’t mind it — when you said that about me, I used my forum to answer back, not to whine about how mean you were.
Furthermore, If you don’t want to be made fun of, don’t write countless entries about “your needs” or give five stars to Lindsay Lohan movies. Of course you have every right to do so, but be warned that a lot of people find that humorous. I don’t post those parodies of your blog to make myself feel better; they’re very well-received by people who read the Malcontent. I’m just giving ‘em what they want — although they are fun as hell to write. Instead of trying to get your foreskin back, might I suggest you investigate a spine implant?
“Bugboy, I haven’t been any nastier to you than you have to me.”
That’s not true. You have made countless attacks on me, personally, when what I have done to you is critique your arguments (and lack of proof).
atlmalcontent,
Yes you do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t bother. You are insecure. You realize that I have insecurities of my own, so you try to use them to make me feel bad (unsuccessfully), which somehow, you believe will make you feel better about yourself(which I hope is successful, because I wouldn’t want all of your effort to be for naught).
Interestingly, I never once said that I had a problem with disagreement, criticism, and whatnot; I have always welcomed it. But that is not what you do. What you do, is try to belittle me, by making it seem that you are somehow superior, and instead, you continually prove my point; you are the one with the crippling insecurities, and you need a target to make you feel better. If you can prove to yourself, by trying to belittle me, that you are better than me, you believe that you will feel better.
I am an “easy target” that you can come to, make fun of, and get a quick fix (or an ego boost, if you will), because it allows you to truly believe that you are better than I am; even if it is only for a short while. While I do think it is a bit sad, I more so find it flattering that I am passively able to make you feel better about what is wrong in your own life. I never thought I would be able to have that much of an impact on someones life, just by being me, but to you, I have done just that. I am hoping that one day it will become “atlcontent”, but I know that would be sort of a bittersweet day, because you won’t need me anymore. (although, I really will be glad that you found happiness).
Yes, I did “cast the first stone”. I am glad that you have a good memory, perhaps, you will remember this conversation as vividly as that first quip I made. The fact is, that what I said then is just as true at it is now, and this continued worship of me is proof. You hate “the petty gay establishment”, and I am apparently, the perfect representation of that to you. It kills you that you can’t be me, so the only thing you can do to make yourself feel better about what you lack, is to try and bring me down; yet you don’t realize, that those things aren’t as important as you have made them. Additionally, I don’t actually represent those things that you hate, just because of what I look like, who I am, or what I say.
If you were born the perfect gay man, who got all the attention and love that the popular pretty boys get, perhaps you wouldn’t hate the “establishment” so much, because of what it represents. Sadly, that is not how things have gone, and what you fail to realize, is even the perfect boys aren’t so perfect; yet, that has not stopped your inner rage from taking over. You hate that which you are not, and instead of realizing that whole “perfect” thing is fake, you decide to take out your rage on the nearest example of that “perfection” you identify. I am flattered, but I know that I am far from perfect.
While I wish that things could be better for all of us, and that we all got the love and sense of community that we should from our fellow gays, I can’t change how things are, and what cards you (nor I) were dealt. I personally don’t begrudge you in any way, and really feel bad that you have personalized these feelings in this way. I wish that I could truly make you feel better, and discontinue your discontentment; but all I can do, is apparently represent that which you hate the most, and be your target for your inner rage. We all wish we could be perfect, but none of us are. Perhaps one day, you will get the true love and attention you deserve, and it will melt that icy heart that has been created by these feelings of longing, exclusion, and self doubt. I hope one day, this hurt that plagues you will be gone.
I honestly do hope that you feel better each and every time you “attack” me. I am truly glad that I can be a source of joy for you, because I know what it is like to have issues with self esteem, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. When you internalize those things that have hurt you, and turn against the world, you become bitter like many gay men have, and I honestly hope that doesn’t happen to a point that you become embittered for life. I hope that through our interaction, you will realize that what you say only exposes your doubts and inner rage, and even though it feels good to lash out at me initially, it will always be deep down in there, waiting to come back up again. What you should do, is work on making you better, because you deserve it.
Whatever you say or do with regards to me, or anything you like to believe about me, doesn’t do anything to me other than flatter me, to think that I am worthy of such attention. As such, I really do need to acknowledge the love that you have for me, as my biggest fan; but I do say that such attention is not necessary, as I am not the symbol of gay “perfection” that you seem to believe deep down. I am glad that you feel better by trying to bring me down, and I hope that in the future, you can release these feelings, gain more self love, and find true happiness.
I hope your Friday is going swell! And, I look forward to seeing you again soon!
My best friend in HS would, on occasion, “attack” me on things he thought I would be insecure about (he was off on these things, btw). The attacks (he turned out to be gay, which I figured out from these remarks about my appearance) did not hurt. It only made me think about what hollowness inside him made it feel good to him to try and make me feel bad about myself. So in a strange way I enjoyed those attacks. I never once put him down. I’ve probably said this a few months ago but wanted to say it again.
That being said…Duane, I don’t think you are completely aware of exactly how you open yourself up to being criticized and ridiculed. I tried once to help but you ignored me.
Bugboy,
I challenge you to look back at the comments that you have made here, and the countless times you have attacked me and other commenters. I had to write a “code of ethics” post because of your attack on particular commenter. If you don’t want the “attack”, please refrain from doing it yourself. If you want more, then I gladly oblige. I have nothing to apologize for, other than the fact that I am sorry that you are continually misinformed.
Maude, to Archie Bunker, after enduring a long-winded diatribe about her politics:
(Slow turn, then …) “You’re fat.” There’s just nothing else to say.
(Watch the clip — http://youtube.com/watch?v=zpU-ArcVUn4)
P.S. I’m Maude
I did look back and found no such attacks on you as you did on me. I was going after your arguments/posts, not you. In reciprocation you violated your own code of conduct (as you have numerous times, and as I have pointed out to you numerous times) by calling ME narrow-minded, closed-minded, etc (a long list, actually).
I called your “science” cite “garbage” and you felt humiliated and threatened to ban me, in addition to a barrage of personal attacks.
Wrong. My code of conduct was for visitors to not attack other visitors. I never said that I wouldn’t say and do whatever the hell I wanted to; it is my blog. If you don’t like that, don’t come back.
Duane personfied — watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpoAAP9NURc&mode=related&search=
Er, personified
Well, I guess it is true, you really can’t help those that don’t want to be helped… can’t say I didn’t try.
And, just a note, atlmalcontent, you have met me once, briefly, in person. We didn’t have enough of an interaction for to get to know anything about me, more than what you have gotten from my blog. You don’t know me. You won’t know me any time soon. Please don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have me pegged, and as such, can find anything that represents me accurately, because it is another exercise in futility.
But, as I have said before, if it makes you feel better, I guess I am happy to oblige your obsession.
Have a great weekend!
Unfortunately, I remember. You were none too friendly, and you ate all the cheese fries — and what makes you think you know me?
I never claimed to know you. I made observations about your attitude towards life and the world based on your stance that you take in regards to me and others like me. I ONLY did this, because I know many others like you, and you fit the profile to a t.
And I don’t remember any cheese fries; are you sure it was me?
i MISSED THE PART ABOUT YOU MEEETING HIM PELASE DO TELL.
You know others like me? Please — no one as cool as me would ever be caught dead hanging out with you. That, like the cheese fries reference, was a joke; I feel the need to interpret.
Are you two cool enuf to kiss & make up?
I’d rather gargle acid.
Yes, I know other bullies like you. I didn’t say that I was friends with them, nor did I say that I hung out with them; they are bullies after all. And you are too cool? LOL Okay!
Bugboy, it wasn’t memorable. Let’s leave it at that.
And finally, I WILL BUY THE ACID! Just say when and where you want to gargle it! LOL
Can lyou two at least find something interesting to piss over?
>>Well, to my one-derful, kind-of-internet-stalker, fan.
Atlmalcontent criticizes you and makes fun of your blog. That makes him a stalker.
You criticize him and make fun of him just as much.
What does that make you?
Come on, Andy. Don’t confuse Duane. Hey hey hey.
Andy, the difference, is that I am not criticizing him; I am sincerely thanking him for the attention. I haven’t made fun of atlmalcontent, I really am flattered that I can make him happier just by being me.
I suggest that you read the rather long comment that I wrote a couple of comments up; I meant that with the utmost sincerity. Atlmalcontent has the same insecurities and self doubt that many of us have; only he has turned his into rage, which he then uses on me to make himself feel better. While he uses his rage to poke fun at me, I just want him to get to a place where he can be happy, and not feel the need to do that anymore.
When I initially called him self loathing, it was a strong observation based on how much he hates the gay community for everything it represents, even though he considers himself a part of it. To me, that was indicative of self doubt and, as such, I just wanted to try and understand where it was coming from. By interacting with him over the internet, I see that I was correct, and what I want for him is the same thing I want for myself; a sense of contentment and happiness.
That being said, I think that it is pretty clear that I in fact do not “criticize him and make fun of him just as much”; my observations and acknowledgment of his constant attempts to bring me down are a response to his actions, and an attempt to provide a helpful hand to someone in need. While he seeks to bring me down, I hope that, eventually, I can help him feel better about those feelings that weigh him down.
Are you really so self-delusional that you think that you don’t criticize or mock him? When they took the foreskin, did they clip off part of your brain?
>>>We didn’t have enough of an interaction for to get to know anything about me, more than what you have gotten from my blog. You don’t know me. You won’t know me any time soon.
Nor do you know him.
It seems I have been show again, by the all wise and powerful Andy! Dude, I have never fabricated anything about him that isn’t true, and used it to slander him. Criticism is one thing, but mocking him and trying to tear him down is another. Apparently, you don’t differentiate between the two.
And you are right; I don’t know him. My statements about his self-loathing come directly from his blog. But, what you neglect to acknowledge, is that he completely exhibits these qualities to a t in all of his writing. I honestly don’t care to know anymore about him, I just hope that he can become content at some point. Until then, I assume that more attacks will come my way; notice I have never called him fat, whiny, ugly, or anything like he has called me. To be quite frank, I am tired of wasting my time talking about him at all anymore, since so much has been said already.
>>>To be quite frank, I am tired of wasting my time talking about him at all anymore, since so much has been said already.
Is it frank to feign disinterest in something that you won’t stop talking about?
“Is it frank to feign disinterest in something that you won’t stop talking about?”
His patterns of thought are best described as ad hoc hysteria and cannot withstand the slightest scrutiny. He knows this and constantly scrambles to cover up, much like Lucy.
atlmalcontent, you are probably wondering where your comments went; consider yourself banned. I am sick of your trivial and asinine bullshit. Pick on me all you want, bully, but I am not going to let you talk shit about me and be a complete douche bag on my own blog.
You will have to save that shit for your own space. As you said, does that work for you, bitch?
Why am I not banned? You have a lot of venom for me, too.
>>>Criticism is one thing, but mocking him and trying to tear him down is another. Apparently, you don’t differentiate between the two.
>>>I am sick of your trivial and asinine bullshit. Pick on me all you want, bully, but I am not going to let you talk shit about me and be a complete douche bag on my own blog.
Nice.
Andy, did you want to join the ranks of the banned?
Awww… this must be a proud day for liberals everywhere. duane, you’ve earned another Merit Badge of Leftwing Lunacy: The Silencing of Those Who Disagree With You.
But I thought this post was about how much you truly love the attention from ATLmalcontent, and now you’re banning him?
It is your blog, you can do whatever you want here, but that makes zero sense.
The Silencing of those who have proven him wrong. This is eerily similar to the Dems wanting to shut down talk radio b/c it is right wing. Dems are more tolerant of terrorists than Repubs.
dave, I silenced him because he crossed a line. He went very far past disagreeing with me, and into the realm of out and out attacking me in a way that I don’t feel necessary to have to put up with on my own blog. I am fine with his criticisms, and attempts to bring me down, but there is a line, and he crossed it with those comments.
Lori, I banned his comments, because they were extremely slanderous and hateful. I don’t have to put up with that. He crossed a line, and I let him know it by banning those comments. It does make sense, because he went beyond trying to tear me down into just insult after insult after insult. He has apparently run out of “clever” ways to try and make me look bad, and as such, has resorted to childish name calling and whatnot. I am surprised I didn’t see the F word in there. Either way, it is all about crossing a line, and I definitely think that it was acceptable to remove the comments that crossed the line, which I did.
Bugboy, he didn’t prove me wrong, just as you have not. Calling me a fat, whiny, bitch doesn’t prove anything, other than he is a bully, and it doesn’t have a place here on my blog. He can say whatever he wants, but I have the right to remove it if I see fit. His two comments had nothing to do with trying to “prove anything”, but they had everything to do with him letting his rage get out of control. I will not stand for people attacking me in that way. Everything else in your comment is borderline propaganda, so I will just ignore it and move on. Please realize that it is not about “proving me right or wrong”, and IS about crossing a line, which he did.
It is a matter of fact that the Dems are out to get talk radio as evidenced by the proposals they have made over the last ten years or so. Gee I wonder why they don’t like it.
Interesting, because I listen to talk radio everyday; Air America, which is a progressive liberal radio network. I would think that they aren’t trying to shut that down, so I don’t think that you are entirely correct.
Additionally, it is one thing to say that this is your conservative view point, and it is clearly another to suggest that there are things that make people inferior species, and as such, people should hate them and discriminate against them. Many of the conservative talk show hosts do the latter, which is what most progressives would like to see end. I can’t say that I am against that.
Air America is about to go under. They are having serious financial problems. I’m certain the Dems would sacrifice AA if it got rid of all of the rightwing talkshows out there.
I know of none that preach “inferior species” or “discrimination” or “hate” as you say. What are you referring to?
The only thing sillier than Duane pretending that he’s not obsessed by ATLMalcontent’s opinion of him is DPB and Rightwing Bugboy pretending that Duane banning comments is somehow related to a lefty conspiracy attacking righty talk radio. Hypocrisy and inconsistency belong to no one part of the political spectrum.
Andy, are you denying the “lefty conspiracy attacking righty talk radio” or are you simply stating that it is in no way related to duane’s banning of comments?
I said it was “eerily similar” not “related”. But thanks for informing me about hypocrisy and inconsistency in the political spectrum, especially in the context of me doing exactly that–exposing hypocrisy and inconsistency in the political spectrum.