Tag: rant

it is what it is, right?

I wish I were more of an “it is what it is” kinda guy, I really do. Perhaps then when patients really try my patience, and upset me, I could tell myself, “self, it is what it is”, and just let it go. But I don’t.

This week has really been trying my patience, because of my patients.

See, I am the nurse practitioner, and they are the patients. When they come to me with problems, I listen to their symptoms (self-reported), assess the situation (make my own observation of symptoms if they are present), and based on my education, guidelines, and any other information that I need to access in order to come up with a plan of care, I make a diagnosis, and come up with said plan of care. At that time, it is the time where the patient either likes what I have to say, and agrees to do it, or it can go another way entirely.

Lately, it’s been a little more of the latter, and it’s wearing me down.

See, I am invested in this job. I actually care what happens to the patients, and I want to make sure that I am always operating under the healthcare tenets of beneficence and non-maleficence; which simply means that you do no harm, and you always seek to do the best for the patient that you can. Hence, again, why I use my education, knowledge, and guidelines to guide my practice; whether the patient agrees or not.

Now I get it, you can google anything. ANYTHING. And you can find a ton of information out about just about anything as well. BUT, I challenge anyone that questions why I decided to go one way versus another in my decision to treat (or not); where did you find that info? How did you know how to sift between accurate and often times, mostly wild conjecture? How did you know and when did you learn how to interpret labs, symptoms, multiple medical conditions (not to mention how they interact with all of the other intricacies of other bodily systems), and how to pick and choose between hundreds of different solutions, medications, and remedies to come up with the best solution for yourself? Unless you’ve gone through school for it, you are probably operating under the assumption of what someone else has said, and there is no factual evidence behind it; that is, unless you know where to find the correct remedies and solutions.

This is where the frustrating part starts.

I say, based on what you have told me, and my assessment, we are going to do X.

They say, “well I read online that you need to do X”.

I disagree, because this is not the truth. I assure them that I am using factual, evidence-based practice to guide my decisions, which I even offer to get a second of, by asking my colleagues.

Still, I am often met with eye rolling, and being told that they “know their body”, and demanding certain treatments, which can actually do more harm than good. Worse still are those that have series health conditions and don’t seem to heed my warnings about medication compliance, and put themselves at risk for further harm daily.

It really wears you out when you are not an “it is what it is” kinda guy like me; and because of that, I need to rant sometimes, and that is what this is. Maybe I’ll get better at letting it roll off with years of practice; I certainly hope that I do. I wish I could be a little less stressed about the minutiae of it all, and realize that, yes, when it comes to many patients, it truly is what it is, and I have to just let go, and realize that all I can do is attempt to lead them in the right direction; despite the fact that they have the car in reverse and are slamming on the gas at the same time. I just need to focus on the realization that I am not in the car, and whatever happens really is, ultimately up to them.

tonight’s thoughts on ms spears

I found myself listening to a lot of Britney this evening, and it has really hit me; Femme Fatale was not only a fucking amazing album, it had basically, all singles; save like two songs. Strong, strong album… I mean, Criminal? That song is GOLD. Til the World Ends? Dance anthem; it will be playing at my end of the world party. Let’s just say this: THAT REMIX WITH KESHA AND NICKI MINAJ SAYS IT ALL. She even “dabbled” in dub-step with Seal it With a Kiss, and NAILED IT. There’s a reason number four of her four number one singles (seriously, she’s only had four… WTF), came from this album.

Then, I get a little disheveled. She follows Femme Fatale with perhaps the most phoned-in album of her career? What the hell!?! I mean, they say Blackout was her phoned in album (albeit, pretty brilliant, surprisingly), but she practically left Work Bitch as a voicemail it was so phoned in (yes, it was catchy, but if this were Femme Fatale, it wouldn’t have gotten up off of the cutting room floor). Now, let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth, it isn’t all bad. I fucking LOVE Perfume; that, like Criminal, is highly underrated, and is arguably pretty high amongst her top 20 songs. But let’s be honest, most of Britney Jean is pretty shit, and that, to quote Britney herself, makes me feel like “I’m sad”. I love my girl, and I want her making the type of pop I KNOW she’s capable of; looking at her track record, you can’t deny the consistency and staying power.

Sorry, jut had to get that off my chest. I love Britney. Always have, always will. Bitch has been through some shit, and whether you love or hate her, you have to acknowledge that she’s a fighter, and when she’s properly medicated (we all have some mental issues, and treatment is the key), she’s a true diva. Hopefully, the next album will bring her back to the spotlight she deserves. Now I kinda want to go to Vegas and see her before her residency ends… perhaps I should talk to James about that…

Mat Kearney at Center Stage, October 16, 2009

Well, this is a definitely a few weeks overdue, but I have had good excuses: I have definitely been busy. But enough about that; let’s get to my Mat Kearney concert experience.

Overall, the concert was great. Mat sounds amazing live, and totally delivers in concert. He probably played all of his songs from his first album, as well as his new album (which is amazing, btw). I couldn’t have wished for a better performance.
Mat Kearney @ Center Stage, ATL 10/16/09
I got a lot of great pictures of Mat, and even a few good ones of his crazy hot guitar player that was to the left of him; in fact, all of the backing band members were cute and bearded (which was definitely an added bonus). You can check out the whole set on flickr.

One cool thing that happened during his set, was when he was singing a song, and started to get down off of the stage to lean over and touch people’s hands: surprisingly, instead of just shaking hands and what not, he jumped off the stage into the crowd and ran right past us!! You could tell that no one was expecting it, because instead of rushing up to him, people just ran away from him. It was kind of funny, actually, because you would have expected the opposite. I managed to get a very paparazzi shot of the moment he was closest to me. Neat stuff indeed. I think it added to the whole concert, because he was clearly having fun because of the crowd. I did think that he was a bit cocky with expecting everyone to know the words to all of his songs, because near the end of the show, he pretty much just held up the microphone to the crowd for like 15 minutes. While that was a little annoying, it didn’t distract from how good the rest of the show was.

Since it was at a standing room only venue (Center Stage), I just knew that I would encounter some of those “we are entitled to walk to the front and stand in front of you because we are better people just because we are” people, and low and behold, about an hour into the show, they tried to push their way up in front of us. The best, though, was that they ended up in front of the people in front of me, and they were very vocal about their disapproval; they left after like 2 songs. I just don’t understand why people have that sense of entitlement. If you want to stand in the front, do like we did; get there early, and wait it out. If not, don’t complain when someone doesn’t want you to come up in front of them and stand there; we put in the time, so we deserve to be up front… you don’t. /rant

I’m this close

…to completely giving up. I have applied, taken classes, kissed ass, sent in form after fucking form, and it is all apparently not enough. I cannot get into a fucking nursing program to save my life. I am really close to just saying, “fuck it, universe, you win”. I just got off of the phone with GPC to ask why my status wasn’t changed on their website, because I have sent in the “change of status” form 3 times now, and I have found out that they still haven’t changed it, and want me to resubmit it. What for? Just for shits and grins? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

If I hear ANYONE say anything about how they “can’t believe that there is such a shortage of nurses” in Georgia, I will let them know why. I am smart, have great grades, and most of all, the drive to do the damn job, and even I can’t get my foot in the door. I have been trying to get into other schools, and they keep listing me as an out of state resident, which both quadruples the tuition, as well as puts me at the end of the list, after all of the in state residents (which is practically an instant rejection, since there is such a shortage of these programs in Georgia). I can see why kids graduating from college in Georgia could have a bleak outlook for their future; good luck finding college in this state.

Needless to say, I am MORE than frustrated right now, but I am VERY happy that I at least have a job; no I am not that diluted by my disappointment to forget that majorly important fact.

/upset rant

we interupt your regularly scheduled program for this announcement

This very thing is exactly what happened 15 or so times last night while I was watching TV. Seriously, I get that the weather is bad, and I get that people need to know, but just cutting off a show halfway in, and never going back to it is at a bare minimum, extremely annoying; ESPECIALLY when all you are doing is showing me a map, and you continually repeat yourself for like 30 minutes (I’m looking at you channel 2 weather dude). Additionally, the National Weather Service seriously needs to update to like, I don’t know, THIS century? That message system that was designed and probably totally savvy in 1942 is kind of outdated, don’t you think?

I also don’t understand something: I have an HDTV, and watch shows in HD. So how come, when they need to scroll something across the screen, they make the picture tiny, and ADD graphics around it? Can’t you just leave the picture alone, and scroll the info at the bottom? Seriously, making a graphic, and shrinking the picture down is not cool. Again, annoying. I am all for you informing the public, but do you have to be such a nuisance about it?

Finally, if I see one more of those “the conversion to digital TV is coming…” announcements on an HD channel I am going to scream. CLEARLY, if I am watching an HD channel, I HAVE a digital signal, and am receiving it normally, dumb asses. Stop this shit!

/rant

how much further to rock bottom?

Gas is pretty much coming up short here in ATL; it is getting hard to find gas at most of the gas pumps that I have seen around town. It just makes me wonder, just how prepared are we for disaster? I mean, this shortage is because of two hurricanes in the gulf coast… that happened over a week ago. We aren’t talking months, just a handful of days, and we are already out of gas. That is just scary, isn’t it?

Also, our seriously fledgling economy took a MAJOR hit last week, and in a half-assed effort that one can only see as a move to save his rich friends from being held responsible, our own president is trying to shove the tab on the back of already struggling Americans. Nice. I thought that people that said they were Republican but not conservative said so because of “fiscal responsibility” and “less governmental control”? What is going on then? This plan, being put forth BY Republicans is going to cause even further fiscal irresponsibility (which these companies started in the first place) and more governmental control over our money (by making us pick up the tab)? Do you think that saving companies that prey on the American public makes any fucking sense at all? I don’t… and I’m a Democrat. The government never should have been involved in making corporations something that are an entities that exist outside of the rules and regulations of basic business; if a small business makes mistakes, it has to pay for them. However, if you are a corporation, apparently, you can just be excused of that debt, and have the government take it for you (and then quickly put it on the backs of their citizens, or you, me, and every other tax paying American). Why don’t we get a say so in this decision? Isn’t our government supposed to represent us? What do we get to do when it clearly goes against our best interests? The more I read the news, the less I feel like I live in a democratic society; the government makes decisions, and we follow along without any of our needs even being heard. It sounds more like a dictatorship to me, which again, is supposed to be the opposite of the fundamental Republican, or even the financially concerned Libertarian beliefs, right? I may be wrong, but giving 700 billion dollars to these companies to save them just seems like robbing the poor to feed the rich to me. I can bet money that the money will be used to save executive jobs, while the working class will get shit on again. Fuck yeah… I’m proud to be a (probably soon to be starving) American. We get fucked, and the rich get richer… that seems to be the new Republican way.

Sorry for the ranting, I just feel so powerless; I invest money and try to save as much as I can, and things like this come along, where the government allow these companies to take it away, even though they are the ones that made the mistakes! I don’t understand why they have more rights than I do. I don’t think it’s fair, and in fact, I don’t think it should be legal. The only hope that I am clinging to at this point, is that Obama gets elected, and can do something better. Things are only getting worse, and worse, which really does make you wonder where the bottom line actually is. How bad is it going to get?

really… are people really this stupid?

I saw this on towleroad this morning, and it seriously pissed me the fuck off:

Last night on Big Brother 9’s live feed, gay housemate Joshuah attempted to educate James, Chelsia, and Sharon on the ins and outs (so to speak) of gay sex. He also spreads some misinformation about protecting oneself from HIV:

“I do bareback with my boyfriend. We’ve both been tested for HIV and we’re both negative so it’s cool. I only do that with my boyfriend. I don’t do that on a random one night stand. That’s too risky. If you’re a top it’s okay because you can’t really get HIV from being the top because you’re penetrating them…”

I just want to know; are people really as stupid as this, or is this dumb ass alone in his thinking? Well, clearly, he isn’t alone, as the rates of infection continue to increase amongst gay men, which is not only disheartening, but it is disturbing. Yet, I still cannot even fathom why people are still this moronic about something as HUGE as HIV! Why on earth are people stupid enough to believe that you can’t get HIV if you are a top? Where did this moronic idea come from, and why is it, that gay men STILL believe it?!?!

It blows my mind. I have worked in HIV prevention for many years, and hearing shit like this just sends me over the edge. A part of me wants to say, “people just CAN’T believe that, because clearly, people are smarter than that… aren’t they?”, but I know that people really are this stupid. What has to happen to you for you to get it? Do you have to get IT? I just don’t understand how something as serious as HIV is taken so lightly, especially after it has been around for so very long. It is baffling.

So I’m going to put this out there, for all the morons: YES Virginia, you CAN get HIV if you are a top. Wear a condom you idiot, because clearly, you aren’t smart enough to know better. Wake the fuck up, and realize that this thing is called a goddamned epidemic for a reason.

/rant

etiquette… not requirement… okay?

Earlier today, I was coming out of the building next to the one that I work, in order to go back over to my office, when I encountered a situation that is normally dictated by etiquette. However, in this case, etiquette was stretched so far, that it broke, which, for whatever reason, tends to be quite common where I work. As such, I was treated like an asshole, when in reality, I did nothing wrong. Someone thought etiquette meant requirement, and voiced her opinion as a result; even though she is sadly mistaken.

Now, let me preface what I am getting ready to say with this: I always hold the door for people when they are close enough to reasonably come in; always. I hold elevators too. I’m a nice guy like that; even though I rarely have the favor of that etiquette being returned to me. It really doesn’t bother me to do it, and as such, I normally do.

Now, back to today’s little incident… When I exited the building, I didn’t hold the door because there was no one around. As such, I just walked out, and even smiled at the girl that I noticed once I was completely outside and about 5 steps away from the door. Instead of smiling back, she said loudly, “Well that’s fine… DON’T hold the door for me.”. Um, excuse me? What the fuck did she just say?!?!

First of all, I thought that basic etiquette implied that I am not required to hold the door, but I that I should, if for no other reason than to be courteous. Second of all, in this particular instance, the woman in question was no where near entering the door when I came out, so for me to have held the door for her, I would have first, had to have seen her (which I couldn’t, because she was far enough away, and to the left of the door, that I couldn’t see her), and second, even if I would have seen her, I would have had to wait for her to walk up to the door, (as I noted, it was about 5 steps outside that I noticed her and nodded appropriately) inconveniencing myself in the name of what I would call severely stretched courtesy… but not requirement.

Again, while I am all for holding the door for people when it is convenient, I think that she was ridiculous in expecting me to hold it for her; and even worse, was a fucking bitch for saying what she did. The weird thing is, that most women that work in my building are like that; which I can say, because there are very few men who will get bitchy if you don’t wait forever to hold the door for them.

I have seen women go so far as to try and quickly jump through a closing door to prevent having to actually touch the physical door, or heaven forbid, hold it open for themselves… all while it shuts on me, who is right behind them. I have also, on MANY occasions, seen women stand in front of a closed door, and give me the look of, “well, aren’t you going to open that for me?”. I also can’t stand when the women that work in my building (who do this WAY more than men, which is why I am picking on the women folks) will stand in front of one of the two doors that you can open, because there is someone coming out of the other, and they are waiting so they won’t have to open the door for themselves. As if these weren’t bad enough, there is even one woman in particular who I happen to see more often than I should, who acts like the doors exceed her physical strength, and as such, I am actually forced to take over the muscling of the door, and open it for her. I just don’t get why these women can’t open a door for themselves, or even hold the door for me; who, has on most occasions, done that very thing for them. Even more, I wonder why I am an asshole when I don’t go out of my way to make every woman-who-works-in-my-building’s life that much more comfortable (even though it inconveniences me); especially when the same common courtesy is RARELY returned to me.

What bugs me about this, is that first of all, this isn’t 1950 anymore, ladies; so you should be able to open a door for yourself, and realize that it is being courteous, and not a requirement, that a man might open it for you. Again, let it be known that I honestly don’t mind holding the door for you, and I will even go out of my way to get the door for anyone most of the time; but when you bitch because I didn’t inconvenience myself to make your entrance into the building an effortless one, please listen up, as I will say this as plainly as I can for you to understand: why not just be a fucking adult and open the fucking door for yourself for a change?. And worse, if you do what that bitch did earlier to day, you should be seriously put in your fucking place, because you are just being an outright bitch, and that goes way beyond any courtesy that you deserved from me in the first place.

If you think that I am being too harsh, realize that I have been entering buildings and opening doors for years for myself, and I am just fine… and you will be too. When I think about these incidents, which usually just result in me rolling my eyes, it makes me want to do what these silly women do. Perhaps I should try standing in front of a closed door, and looking at the person who is walking up behind me in hopes that they will open it for me; or maybe I should jump rapidly through a closing door, only to have it hit me as I barely make it in, all the while it slams in the face of the person behind me; or maybe do my favorite, and act as if the weight of the doors is so massive, that my tiny, frail, child-like arms cannot handle the force required to muscle them open… Maybe, just maybe, that would make me feel a little better about how stupid people act under the guise of the unwritten “rules” of “etiquette” (which, for whatever reason, they believe that I, but not they, are required to follow).

I am pretty sure, though, that it wouldn’t work for me… unlike the women that get by with this shit day in and day out, because I am sure that I would get nasty looks and hateful comments because I am a man, and as such, I am “required” to hold/open/wait for every woman that may want to enter the building. What-the-fuck-ever.

The weird thing, is that my friend Deb, who is just as tall as I am, gets the same thing. Maybe it’s a height thing and not a sex thing? She is obviously a woman, and women do it to her too. Who knows… all I know is that it is time for the sisters to start REALLY doing it for themselves… and realize that I don’t HAVE to get the door for you, I am doing it to be nice. If I don’t do it because I don’t see you, or don’t wait for you because you are far away, be an adult and open the damn door yourself; and save the bitchy comments, okay?

/rant

post ultrasound sydney update

So, we had the ultrasound done yesterday… $400 to find out, wait for it… Nothing. That’s right, there isn’t anything abnormal with his abdomen, stomach, nadda. However, it may have been worth it to spend the $400, because when I got into the vet’s office yesterday morning, (I wanted to stick around and talk to them so that I could tell them a few things that I wanted checked out) Sydney was transformed into his old self. Wagging his tail, jumping up into my lap, and full of energy. Maybe he was faking it? Maybe he was a little sick, and just didn’t feel like eating? Either way, after we picked him up yesterday afternoon, he proceeded to eat treats (without having them crushed first), walk around, wag his tail, jump up on the couch, and everything he normally does.

He is also eating out of his bowl on his own, without being coxed into it. I am not sure if it is a case of “don’t take me back there, see, see!, I am good! nothing to worry about!!!”, or if he really is getting back to his old self, and it was more of an episode, rather than something actually wrong. I hope that it was definitely just a little bout of upset tummy, or something minor, and I am glad that he is getting back to normal. It’s funny, because it is almost like we took him in, and got our old Sydney back. I just hope that his eating improves, and he gets back to normal. He even wanted to play with his toys last night! What a little stinker, eh? I honestly don’t care what was going on, so long as he is better, and a happy, healthy little dog. Thanks to everyone that had kind words and well wishes; it really means a lot to know that people were thinking about us!!!

Totally unrelated to Sydney’s health drama this week, we had/have a bit of a situation at the house… Basically, a few days ago, we saw an injured cat slink its way under the deck; before we could do anything to help it/stop it. A day or so later, we were greeted with that all too familiar smell of rotting carcass when we walked our of the front door, and I was sure that the damn cat died under the porch, and we were going to have to endure that smell for at least a few more days (my cat used to drag us “presents” under the porch when I lived with my parents… yuck). The situation comes into play when yesterday, we walked outside to do something, and James exclaims, “Oh my god! There’s a dead cat in the koi pond!”. Sure enough, the carcass of that cat was tangled in the net of the pond, COVERED in maggots and flies. I almost threw up. I told James that it had to be gotten out of there ASAP, or it would kill all of the fish, and he sprung into action. He managed to clean out most of the “debris”, but I noticed this morning that there are still a ton of maggots in the pond, and we seriously need to figure out how to get them out of there so they don’t kill the fish. I am glad that the dead cat smell is gone, but jeez… that is not the alternative plan of action I was expecting; nor the one that I wanted. Yuck!

The whole cat scenario, which, by the way, is our third serious cat incident since we have lived at our house, totally echoes (although, not on the same threat level) what Lori and Brian when through this morning; people that neglect animals, and don’t get them spayed and neutered are just AWFUL fucking people. Seriously, if you don’t intend to get an animal the care that it needs, provide it with food and shelter, and make sure that it isn’t unnecessarily breeding animals that you have no intention of taking care of, you are at the very minimum, a despicable person. Perhaps we should call animal services more than we do, but honestly, they are so picky about what they will do, it really makes it more of our problem than anything. I just wish people weren’t so neglectful, and by association, cruel. It’s an animal dammit, it NEEDS you. Don’t get one if you don’t plan on taking care of it. UGH! /endrant.