Tag: pondering

what would you do in that situation?

Fair warning: I will be talking about a movie (The Reader), and discussing the plot, so if you want to avoid spoilers, do not keep reading after this sentence.

Last night, James and I watched the Reader. After the shock of the sheer amount of nudity there was in the film, I have to say, that I was struck by the way Michael handled his relationship with Hanna. It was made clear that he definitely loved her, but he was truly the only one that could have saved her from a lifetime in prison, and yet, he said nothing. Yes, she deserves a LOT of the blame; she committed herself to the SS and 20 years in prison because she was ashamed of the fact that she couldn’t read or write, but I couldn’t help find fault with Michael as well.

I can’t tell you what I would do in those circumstances; I didn’t live through the Holocaust. Do I grasp the enormity of the events that occurred during that incredibly dark time? Not by a long shot. When I try to wrap my head around the fact that the majority of a country stood by and assisted in the murders of MILLIONS of people, just because of who they were, my stomach turns. It is disgusting. With that being said, I felt it was clear that Hanna, while she was a part of the whole machine, shouldn’t have taken all of the blame; she was the only one who had the long sentence handed down to them.

If I were Michael, I think that I would have spoken up for her. Also, if I hadn’t of had the courage to do it when she was on trial (or if it was because he was too angry at her for being at part of the Holocaust), I don’t think I could have ignored her all of those years, and just “went on with my life”. Maybe I just have a big heart, but it would be hard for me to love anyone and let them rot in jail; even if they committed a heinous crime. I would at least visit. I thought that by sending those tapes to her, he was fully admitting the amount of guilt that he had; so why not visit? Yet, again, I can’t say what I would do in that situation for sure, because I wasn’t there, but I just couldn’t help but feel angry at him for not doing anything. I guess that was the point of the movie, so I guess that’s what I took from it.

What would you do under the same circumstances?

disconnected

I feel like I am disconnected from my body, and I am just on the inside looking out while it moves forward with the day to day routine. It is definitely a weird feeling, and it just makes me feel terribly uncomfortable, being disconnected from myself.

I don’t feel out of control, I just feel powerless. I feel run down, like someone forgot to charge me or something. I don’t like this feeling, and hope it goes away soon.

Someone egged my car last night, too. WTF is that about? I mean, it is just a random fucking Wednesday, and you egg my car? James is going to check the camera archive to see if there is video of it. If there is, then I will you tube it, and put it on here for all to see. Perhaps we can even make out who did it, which would at least be cool to see who the jerks are. Either way, it isn’t that big of a deal, but it just pisses me off. I just don’t understand why people have to destroy or vandalize other people’s stuff. I never did anything like that when I was a kid or a teenager, and I just don’t get the motivation behind it. I hope whatever they needed to get from egging my car was achieved, and hope that they don’t need to do it again.

I also got my new ipod skin, and I don’t know how I feel about it. It is pretty, but it is almost slippery; and it isn’t the iskin that I had. I don’t like change. Either way, there will be pictures post haste on flickr. No buyers remorse or anything, just a period of adjustment. It seems that everything is turning into a period of adjustment.

Tonight is the APWBWGTTD, so I hope that I feel more connected and like myself before then. If not, I might just skip it. I don’t like being in this state, and it certainly doesn’t add to being comfortable around others. I guess we’ll see where it goes over the next few hours.

Ugh. Meeting in 30 minutes. I should have stayed in bed.