Tag: money

all about me, hmm interesting, is it just me?, well?

existential thoughts

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This morning on the way in to work, I think I starting thinking about things, and really started observing everyone around me. We were all on our way somewhere… but why? What was driving us (not the car, I’m not being that literal)?

What drives us, everyday, to stay in the same job, live in the same house, and keep getting back up and going, day after day? I don’t often talk about what I do, but everyone knows that reads this blog, that I am trying to go back to school for nursing; which would certainly mean a change in career at some point. However, this morning, I am thinking to myself; what is driving me?

I thought about this yesterday when I read about the stock market crash, and I really thought about how much money people were losing; money that we are all scraping and saving to put away for that day when we can “finally retire, and start to enjoy life”. Fuck that! I am a realist, and I don’t foresee a time that I will be able to ever afford to supplement the amount of money I make right now with just savings, unless I win the lottery. The only way that I am going to be able to make it, is to work my whole life (which is the story for a lot of people), so retirement is really this “dream” that I am living my whole life for, working so hard for, and I will probably never see it.

So again, I ask myself, “what drives you?”. What is it that keeps you from opening a record store, or having a bakery, or having a website that actually makes money? What drives you to stay on the course you are on, and prevents us from deviating? People have businesses for everything; why not me? I’m not really trying to get an “answer” here, I am just reflecting, and I thought, why not see what other people think about this… what drives YOU? I mean, what makes you go down the path you are on, and what do you think prevents you from changing course, direction, or even stopping right where you currently stand?

Surely, fear cannot be the only thing that drives us… I know that is it in part, but it cannot, it just cannot be it. If it is… I think that I am going to work on having another driving force in my life; overcoming that damn fear.

(side note: I just noticed that this was my 1001th post; interesting.)

all about me, school, venting

…deep breath… put on a smile… there you go…

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So after looking back over the requirements for applying to GSU (again), it looks like I have to take two MORE classes BEFORE the program semester in which I am applying. I knew that I had to take them, but was unclear if I had to take them BEFORE the program started. Oh well, because there is no way I could have done anything about that before this spring anyway, because they have to be taken AT GSU, and I only got in recently for spring. So, I guess I will just take them in the spring, and postpone applying to the program, and instead, apply for fall; which is definitely frustrating, but not the end of the world. Seriously, it just seems like so many hurdles to go back to school; no wonder there is a shortage of nurses. They make it so difficult to do something simple (such as fulfill requirements), and it seems like time has got to be your friend… you need it to get where you can finally get into a program. Also, it is so difficult to work and go back to school… people that do it really know what I am talking about. Thank GOD my job is flexible.

Given this bad-ish news, the good news is that I did apply to KSU, and I don’t know the status of that application. I REALLY hope that I can get in there, which would make it more attractive to go there; I could start next summer. I like the idea of going to another school too, because I have already been to GSU; even though going to GSU is so much closer to my house. Additionally, I am scared shitless about what I am going to do for money during the time that I am school; I have no idea how to supplement my salary without working. I don’t want to take out a shitload of loans, but it seems like that might by my best option as of right now. I wonder how much they let students borrow; especially if they have loads of loans already under their belt? I guess I will find out, and then freak out accordingly. Again, how do people do this?!

I just feel so tied up, and I feel like I am wiggling, and wiggling, but the ropes are only slightly loosening. I just want to get there, and it seems like I have spent over a year of doing nothing but hurrying up to wait more… and all that lies before me is more waiting.

It’s just frustrating. Really, really frustrating. However, I KNOW that I just have to take deep breaths, put a smile on my face, and keep moving. But that doesn’t make it easy to do so. I guess I should just keep repeating that to myself, because days like this, it is really, really hard. Sorry to have a downer of a post, but eh, there it is. I’m dealing, so that’s all I have for you. Maybe something more upbeat will put a real smile on my face soon… here’s hoping.

all about me, happenings, is it just me?, mixed media, photography, the catch-all-egory

music, money, games, etc.

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First off, as if Weezer weren’t cool enough already, they are doing this. I love the idea of a band getting together with musician fans, and playing their hits together. If I was better at the guitar, I would totally show up and jam with them. I guess I will have to settle for jamming on the Xbox, because they have songs on Rock Band and Guitar Hero.

James recently pointed out that I had very little tread left on one of my tires, and so I figured it was about time that I take it in get a new one (it has been 30k+ miles since I got my car after all). Well, turns out, I needed two, and after getting two tires, and having them aligned and balanced, my bill came out to $640 and some change. Holy fuck balls that is a lot of money. Jebus! It has also gotten to where it costs no less than $50 to fill my tank… life is expensive, and having a car seems to have become a very MAJOR expense!

In game news, I picked up Guitar Hero On Tour after a month or so of anticipation, and overall, I think that it is an innovative use of the DS. It is a bit awkward at first to play, and it would be nicer if the top screen (which becomes your left screen when turned to play) would bend back more. Other than that, I really don’t have many complaints!! I think that it is really cool that they made it for the DS, and I am looking forward to rocking out on the go. I am seriously a GH junkie; I can’t get enough.

I think that I have decided what I want for my birthday (or really splurge and get this one which I actually think I want more, now)… now to see if James will go for it… (or at least just help me pay for it… LOL)

On a final note, I think that I am addicted to the nachos at Raging Burrito in Decatur. I will be having them for dinner tonight, and I cannot wait. Yumsicle!

all about me, hotness, listen up!, mixed media, music musings, near and dear, politics, the catch-all-egory, venting

the wednesday run-down

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Today, there are 5 distinct thoughts running through my head, so I thought I would give you a run down. In summation, here it is: 1) come on Dems!, 2) get this CD NOW, 3) examining relationships, 4) buying too much stuff?, and finally 5) comments on TV things. Let’s get started, but let’s keep it brief.

First of all, most people don’t think that I am critical (enough) of the Democrats actions. They are wrong. This is just great; now we can EXPECT an attack on Iran. Why were these guidelines abandoned? This just seems to keep getting worse and worse; if we don’t at least put caps and regulations on things, then things will continue to go in the same direction, and there will be NO changes. That can’t be allowed to happen! We need to send a message, that is LOUD and CLEAR to the president; no more occupation! No more war! Things just seem to be idling along, while real action needs to be taken. This is seriously disappointing, to say the least. UGH. We need some people that will take real action, fast.

In lighter fare, I am proud to announce the American release of a GREAT UK artist’s sophomore disc, entitled Back to Black. It is none other than the fantastical Amy Winehouse, and you must do yourself a favor and buy this CD today. It is only $8 at Target and Best Buy, and it is definitely $8 well spent. Let’s show our appreciation for bringing great artists to our shores, rather than leaving them as imports. Amy’s voice is an old classic voice, much like Billy Holiday, and it has power, class, soul, and life. The music is fantastic, like a hip hop jazz, and you will enjoy this if you enjoy great music. Do yourself a favor and pick it up today!

Relationships. UGH. Sometimes they are great. Sometimes they suck. Sometimes you realize that certain relationships in your life are not worth fighting for, but for whatever reason, they go on, because you let them. You don’t want yourself to be like them, so you do your part; even when they don’t do theirs. All that leads to is frustration, and the occasional cryptic portion of a blog post. I am just wondering what I will do next time they take it upon themselves to call. Perhaps I will just let it go for months on end, as it seems they prefer to do themselves; or maybe I will do what I did this time, and just suck it up, and sit through another fake attempt to maintain something that isn’t really there in the first place. Oh well… we’ll see. Relationships can really take it out of you. Thank God for the good ones.

I spent a lot of money yesterday and goodies that made me feel better. Sometimes, you just gotta pull out that card and swipe it. I am glad that I did, but I need to calm down. This is kind of a suggestion and a reminder of that need. Retail therapy! WOO!

Finally, I just want to say this, if you watch 24, were you not extremely excited that Martha came back this week? Even more than that, can you BELIEVE what she did to Logan?!?!? I LOVE YOU JEAN SMART!!!! YAY! Also, if that Sanjaya Malakar makes it through, I will be PISSED. Melinda, girl, you are my favorite, and I hope you win. Lastly, I wouldn’t mind having a three-way (or a four way if James wants in) with Chris Richardson and Blake Lewis. Those boys are hot AND they can sing!

Hope everyone is having a great hump day! That’s the run-down! I’m out!