Tag: gay

civil rights, hmm interesting, is it just me?, that is so gay, venting, wtf?!

a lot of little things really add up

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I just took a survey in order for $20 credit added to my account for a website I bought a product from. To be quite honest, I was sort of offended that I was not given any option other than single, married, widowed, divorced, or separated in the relationship question field. Since none of those apply to me, I left that question blank, but the survey wouldn’t submit without it, so I had to chose an incorrect response.

I know it may seem “meager” or “nit-picky” but it’s honestly little things like this that constantly reaffirm the second class status of gay people. I ended up emailing them, because sometimes, it really is simple ignorance, and I was hoping that was the case in this instance. Here was the email I sent:

I just took the survey on your website after committing to buy one of your products, and I find it interesting that you don’t offer an option for same sex couples. Clearly, we cannot get married in most parts of the US, as well as most of the world, and I am slightly offended that I was required to answer the question as a part of your survey; because I am neither single, NOR married. Granted, I didn’t have to take the survey, but since I did, I felt compelled to drop you a line to let you know that a simple inclusion field for partnered/in a relationship would clear this whole thing right up; that, or not requiring that I answer the question with an incorrect answer. Thanks, Duane Moody

They replied with:

Hi Duane,
You are absolutely correct. We need to fix this survey right away – and we will do so as soon as possible.

Like I said, this may be incredibly minor, but when you take a bunch of minor things (as well as some major ones) they start to really add up after a while, and every new one is just a reminder of every other one before it. I can now cross this one off the list, and appreciate the fact that they responded quickly and kindly. I am sure that a lot of people see it as complaining, and sweating the small stuff, but I see it as all part of the bigger picture. We have to be recognized as equal; not just considered later when we bring it up that we were excluded.

This is not really a “little thing”, but there was a raid on the Eagle last night, that reeks of Stonewall-esque civil rights infringement, and it really brings home the point that I am trying to make about our struggle being FAR from over. Some thoughts about the Eagle raid: while they may have gone in on suspicion of “seedy” behavior, and they may have been well within their rights to shut things down for not having the proper permit, from the sound of it, they had a very heavy hand in doing so. I know that if I would have been there, legally drinking in a bar, one that holds a legal liquor license, and would have been handcuffed OR searched, without explanation, I would have been outraged. Even though I wasn’t there, I can’t help but read this, feel as though The Eagle and its patrons were being targeted because it was a gay establishment. I don’t like to think those things, but the description (especially the recall of one person who was there) of the event, makes almost impossible not to.

Honestly, if it is what it sounds like it is, it is really unbelievable that it happened; not only in Atlanta, but in 2009. I, for one, would like to know why the cops aren’t out there working on stopping the violent crimes that have been escalating over the past couple of years; instead of raiding gay bars? If we have such a “shortage” of funds and police force, why are they focusing on the lack of a permit for dancers in a gay bar, instead of bigger, more dangerous stuff? Couldn’t they have issued some kind of warning, or citation that would certainly wouldn’t necessitate a raid? Again, the more I look at this situation, the more it reeks of discriminatory action. I’m interested to see how this Eagle raid story develops, and I hope that it doesn’t fall squarely on the ever-growing list of acts discrimination against gay people in this country; because whether the items are big or small, it’s a really long list.

flickr, is it just me?, listen up!, that is so gay, venting

it is NOT sexual preference!

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I don’t know how many times I have seen people refer to sexual orientation as sexual preference, but each and every time it pisses me the fuck off. Whether you choose to rest on ignorance or not is no excuse; the word preference is indicative of choice, and being gay is NOT A CHOICE.
FYI:
So therefore, if you CHOOSE to use the phrase sexual preference, I may CHOOSE to punch you in your fucking ignorant ass neck. I’m just saying.

blog on blog, civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

with a “role model” like this…

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Who needs enemies? ESPECIALLY when this particular “role model” is nothing but a non-celebrity that is using his crass, bitchy, and bitter attitude to do nothing but bring the rest of us down to his level. Unfortunately, the person I am speaking of, is faux-celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, and his latest stunt that is bringing even more shame on the gay community.

Yes, the dumb ass got punched in the face by someone he refers to as a “thug”, and I will go on record as saying that I personally do not approve of anyone being assaulted for any reason. However, one must account for the fact that he has made a career out of exploiting and making stuff up about other people (as well as continued betrayal of our community from within), and in this instance, he escalated the situation himself, even though he claims he would never resort to violence (Um, Perez, dear, violence can definitely be verbal; perhaps you need some education on that subject?). While I may not think that it was right for him to get assaulted, I hope that this incident can give him some foresight into just what he is doing to the gay community as one of its representatives (even though I am sure I am not alone in saying that we don’t want him).

With people like Perez Hilton being just one of the many faces of the gay community, we are completely going backwards in helping our struggle of gaining acceptance and credibility in this world. We can never expect to be taken serious about equal rights, especially with regards to the diminished use of hate speech, when loud mouthed hypocrites like Perez continually throw around the very hate speech that we are fighting to stop.

So I say:

Perez, from one gay person to another, can you PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP and go away, for the sake of the VERY community that you SAY you are so concerned about? Your incredibly long 15 minutes of fame has done nothing but shine a bad light on our community, and your continued self defamation has not been, nor will no longer be, welcome; especially from me.

Do I need to remind you that this month marks the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots; which is rightly regarded as the first time gays and lesbians took a stand and fought back, which in turn, became a symbol of the beginning of the fight for gay rights? Do I need to point out that 40 years in, and representatives of our community, such as yourself, are continuing to bring us down? Is this how you honor the fight, and the anniversary of our struggle this month?

I’m not glad that you got punched in the face, but the fact that you, a gay man, got punched in the face because you antagonized someone (whose sexuality is irrelevant), by calling him a faggot is beyond reprehension. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself. If you truly care for your community, as you say that you do, why not be a good example, instead of continuing to be a thorn in our paw? Your behavior has consequences, and continuing down the road of ignorance you so willingly travel just is not acceptable.

YOU are causing harm to our community, and YOU need to stop it. Calling out others, like Ms. California, was a “nice gesture”, but you are doing far more damage by continuing to fan the flames of your incredibly self-unaware hypocrisy.

I want equal rights, Perez, I really do. I believe in my heart that you do to. So why not be a voice for the gay community that is anything but utterly destructive? Do you have it in you to be anything other than hypocritical and bitter? For the sake of our public image, I certainly hope so.

civil rights, is it just me?, listen up!, near and dear, politics, that is so gay, venting, well?, wtf?!

um, thanks… FOR NOTHING

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It seems that my outrage yesterday was a little less than it should have been. Turns out, the gesture Obama tried to placate us with, was worth nothing:

The memorandum Obama signed Wednesday is not expected to grant health and retirement benefits to same-sex partners, as that is prohibited under the Defense of Marriage Act.

(source)

That’s right, fellow gays and lesbians, say it with me; we are STILL:
SECOND.
CLASS.
CITIZENS.

…and it doesn’t look like that is going to change any time soon.

This is not just disappointing, it is outrageous. This is a major slap in the face, Mr. President, and it will not be ignored. What was initially seen as a cop out, is now an empty promise worth practically nothing. Sure, I know you are limited by DOMA, but this empty gesture is not good enough, and frankly it is insulting that you would think that it is worth anything at all.

Perhaps I am being too harsh though… as you do care, right? Allow me the chance to give you the benefit of the doubt; you did say,

“I believe it’s discriminatory. I think it interferes with state’s rights, and we will work with Congress to overturn it.”

(source)

So when can we expect this to happen? If you really want to do something for gays and lesbians, DO SOMETHING. Instead of handing us empty promises, why not take actions that would actually matter? If striking down DOMA is what it will take, why didn’t you propose legislation to do just that; instead of handing us this bullshit?! Saying that you are against something while doing absolutely nothing to stop it, implicates you as a willing accomplice. Mr. President, you are guilty of standing by while we are again, discriminated against, publicly, by our government. It is going to take more than a strongly emphatic “opposition” (with a current obvious lack of any sign that you will actually do more than “be against it”) to make a difference, and I for one am waiting to see if you will actually do anything you continue to promise. The problem is, I am losing my patience.

Again, Mr. President, I am outraged at the sheer lack of support for the community that supported you so ferociously during your rise to power; only to be ushered to the back of the bus once you took the podium. For shame, Mr. President, for shame. I only hope that you will bring the change that you promised, and stop trying to sell us snake oil instead. This is one member of the gay community that is rapidly losing support for the great man that I thought you were.

civil rights, listen up!, politics, that is so gay, well?, wtf?!

um, thanks?

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Am I the only one who thinks that Obama’s recent act of granting benefits to same sex couples is kind of, well, a cop out? First of all, it is only for federal employees, which is definitely nice, since I work for the government, and know many people that will be able to take advantage of this, where they couldn’t before. However, as a contractor for the government, I work for a company that already has these benefits in place; so it doesn’t really affect me other than my thinking it’s a nice gesture. Again, it’s nice, and I am happy he decided to do it, but this is a very, very minor gesture that will have little to no impact in the actual need for our civil rights to be recognized nationwide.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that Obama is in a place of intense scrutiny and has a lot on his plate. However, if he really wanted to do something that would actually impact our community, how about addressing the myriad of issues that currently make things difficult for us? Placating a handful of us with same sex benefits just isn’t going to make us content enough to say thanks and feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

If he really wanted to do something that would make a definitive impact, that would be a true gesture of ushering in what I would consider an actual move in the direction of true equality, why not tackle the right to fire clauses that SO MANY businesses still have on the books? There are tons of businesses out there today that still have the right to fire people because of their sexuality on their books; which I would venture to guess comprises tons more employees than the government boasts. I just think it would be more worthwhile to make moves to actually making us equal citizens, and things like same sex benefits for government employees would follow these moves in the right direction.

I really hate to be a cynic, but this type of cop out really needs to be called out for what it is; a dog and pony show to mask his recent approval of DOMA. There are so many issues that affect our community, Mr. President, and seeing as how we threw our support behind you in the election, how about something a little bit more substantial; something that will actually benefit all of us? The slight of hand is not going to make us think for one second that we are actually getting more in the civil rights department. In other words, there is nothing to see here folks, keep moving, and keep hoping for something that would deserve more than a thumbs up from a handful of people.

civil rights, is it just me?, that is so gay, tragic, venting, wtf?!

STFU

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A couple of weeks ago, it was ignorant Prejean, blabbing her opinion on the “gay lifestyle”, and her beliefs about gay marriage. She kept talking after the incident, and went so far as to claim that people choose to be gay. Clearly, she chose to be a heterosexual, and barely escaped a lesbian lifestyle. All I could think of everything she was saying was, shut the fuck up you ignorant twit. Seriously, we don’t need your bible thumping views and ignorant ideas to set our fight for equal rights back any more than we need a nail through the foot. Thanks. Moving on…

It doesn’t take long for another twit to get the mic, because here’s another person that I want to STFU: Virgina Foxx. She claims that Matthew Shepard’s HORRIBLE and VIOLENT death was not because he was gay, when it is like 99.9% clear that it was. I will never understand why people are so opposed to hate crime legislation, when so many people have been the victim of hate crimes. No one should have to be brutally slaughtered because of who they are, the color of their skin, or who they love. And if you are against it, fine, that’s your bag, but it’s reprehensible that she would go so far to discredit hate crimes legislation, and claim Matthew’s death was a “simple robbery”. How people can have their stupid heads buried this deep in the sand, and how they can somehow get public platforms is beyond me. Hey Virgina, STFU, alright? Just like Prejean, we don’t need your hateful ignorance, and your warped sense of reality mucking up things for us while we FIGHT for civil rights. What is so scary about gay people just being equal with everyone else?

It really peeves me even more that these are two women, who should know what it means not to have equal rights, seeing as women had to fight for them too. How quickly people forget. You know, you are entitled to your opinion, that’s true, but sometimes, you should think about the ramifications of your “ideals”, and just STFU already. Seriously, go back to your church and tell your mindless followers this crap; keep the public forum free of your hate-driven lies and ignorance please.

listen up!, near and dear, that is so gay, tragic, wtf?!

another, this time local, victim of hate

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This completely breaks my heart: 11 year old boy named Jaheem Herrera, commits suicide to escape bullying and taunting from fellow classmates (h/t to my friend Joey who posted the link earlier this afternoon).

I don’t know if anyone even read the piece that I wrote last week about this EXACT thing happening to another 11 year old boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, but I will not let this go silently either.

This is sickening. This is outrageous. This is infuriating. This specifically made my already upset stomach turn: Jaheem’s mother, concerned, had talked to Jaheem’s best friend the prior week, who said,

Yes ma’am. He told me that he’s tired of everybody always messing with him in school. He is tired of telling the teachers and the staff, and they never do anything about the problems. So, the only way out is by killing himself.

I’ll say it again; DO SOMETHING if you see this happening. You CAN stop your children from being bigots. EVERYONE must stop the “playful” use of faggot and gay as derogatory terms; it isn’t a joke. ANOTHER 11 year old child is dead because people take this issue so flippantly. Taunting and teasing is not just “kids being kids”, and EVERY time this happens, it adds to the problem.

Our society of “subversive” hate and the fervent anti-homosexuality campaign in this country must stop. This should be a country were an 11 year old child can go to school without fear of being taunted, teased, and bullied to the point that the only way he feels he can escape is to kill himself. It just isn’t right, and I can’t believe that less than a week after writing about a horrible case of this happening, it shows up again, practically at my doorstep.

My heart goes out to Jaheem’s family. Jaheem, I am so sorry for what they put you through, and I am even more sorry that no one with the power to stop them stood up for you. They should be thoroughly ashamed.

Clearly, there is a major problem with anti-gay sentiment and outright hatred for gays in this country. I have to wonder how many children we need to lose before we start doing something about it? Sadly, many have gone before Carl and Jaheem, and many more will go before the judgment and hatred subside. What’s the WORST, is that it doesn’t even matter if these two boys were gay or not; their peers used the hatred and disgust behind words like ‘faggot’ to hurt them so badly, that they couldn’t take it anymore. It disgusts me that people continue to let this happen around them.

A final thought: I will never understand how the very people that stand there, pointing their fingers in our faces, saying that they are morally superior, pass the judgment that causes things like this to happen. Shame on you all. Your “feelings” about homosexuality are far more dangerous than homosexuality itself could ever be.

civil rights, movie musings, that is so gay

milk

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We finally watched Milk the other night, and I really have to say wow, what a great movie. The fact that someone could have the drive and determination to always stand up to those that tried to push him down is incredibly inspiring. Harvey Milk was an amazing man, because he refused to just roll over and take it; he refused to give up. It’s a tragedy that he isn’t here today.

I also thought that the timing of this film was amazingly poignant and extremely relevant, with Harvey and his fellow Californians fighting Prop 6, and with current Californians fighting Prop 8. It just goes to show that things change, but in some ways, they stay the same; the fight isn’t over, and as of right now, it seems there will always be those out there that want to take our rights away from us. Thank God for the Harvey Milk’s of this world that are willing to fight for what is right.

Just as a final thought, I will NEVER understand what gives people the inclination that their opinion about someone’s life means anything to anyone other than themselves. If you think that homosexuality is a sin, I couldn’t care less; it is your opinion, not mine, so please keep it to yourself. Only when people stop trying to use their warped sense of morality and keep pushing their radical system of values (of which most of them do not even abide by), will we all truly be free, and is that really such a bad thing to hope for? I’m pretty sure that Harvey didn’t think so, and neither do I.

civil rights, listen up!, show the love, that is so gay

milk’s legacy lives on

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From last night’s Oscars:

Sean Penn had this to say:

For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support. We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.

He may have pulled a Hillary Swank in not thanking his wife, but what he said was definitely a big thank you to all gay people that will not go unnoticed. Thank you Sean Penn, and all other mega-famous people who support us. We really do appreciate it.

Also, the wonderful screenwriter of Milk, Dustin Lance Black had this to say:

It gave me the hope one day I could live my life openly as who I am and then maybe even I could fall in love and one day get married. If Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he would want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are ‘less than’ by their churches, by the government or by their families: that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value. And that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you. And that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights federally across this great nation of ours. Thank you, God, for giving us Harvey Milk.

What a great speech from a virtual “newcomer” who snagged the Oscar on his first big try. I’m glad that the Academy honored this film about such a wonderful, and inspiring man who was taken from us far too soon. I hope that Harvey is looking down on us from the heavens today and smiling; he certainly has made a lasting impact that will hopefully continue to shape the face of the gay rights movement.
(source)

blog on blog, five song friday, listen up!, music musings, music suggestion, show the love, that is so gay

5SF: november 14

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Initially, I was planning on doing a homage post of some great one hit “oneders” from the 90s for today. However, last night, as I started looking, I kept finding songs I hadn’t heard in ages, and ended up finding WAY more than 5 songs that I would love to bring back out of obscurity, and show a little love to in these five song weekly festivals. So I decided to do one or two every now and then, and that way, I can have a (hopefully) steady stream of hits from the 90s that will make regular appearances in the five song Friday’s of the future. That sounds fun, doesn’t it? Well, let’s go ahead and get to this week’s installment; I have some great songs for you to listen to!

Tom Baxter – Better
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_tombaxter-better.mp3]
Sometimes, not very often, I hear a song, and it fucking moves me. This is one of those songs. I was reading my favorite music blogs last night, and XO unloaded this amazing piece of beauty on me, and I couldn’t be more grateful. This song is so beautiful, and so completely vulnerable, that I just can’t help but swoon like a school girl. I am so glad that there are great artists out there like Tom Baxter, making music like this that truly speak to me, and I am grateful to have fellow bloggers getting the word out about them. This is THE reason that I do these five song Fridays. I like to do my part in music dissemination, and I hope that my sharing tracks each week brings great stuff to you guys too; especially songs like this one… wow.

Take That – Greatest Day
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_takethat-greatestday.mp3]
I have to say, that I have always been a “fan” of Take That, but I have always had a hard time really, really getting into them. However, after seeing Stardust, and LOVING their amazing song that plays as the credits roll (Rule The World), I will admit that I was excited when I heard they were releasing an album next month. Well, one listen to Greatest Day, and I am even more excited, because it has the same feel and energy as Rule the World, and I am really, really digging it. Maybe 2008 is the year that Take That take my attention fully? I can say that things are definitely looking good at this point.

Logan Lynn – Feed Me To The Wolves
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_loganlynn-feedmetothewolves.mp3]
First of all, I will say that the first time I heard this song, I didn’t like it. However, I watched the video all of the way through a second time, and I really got into the lyrics. After watching the video again, I realized that I actually REALLY like it after all. Not only that, but Logan is kind of adorable, and I love the tenderness in his voice coupled with the electro beats in the background. This song is a major grower, so if you don’t love it instantly, please give it a second chance; I am so very glad that I did, because I realized how great it is, rather than letting it slip into oblivion. Also, I love that Logan is an out queer artist (ahem, Out Magazine), and represents another great gay musician out there on the scene.

Fall Out Boy – I Don’t Care
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_falloutboy-idontcare.mp3]
I have been enjoying this fun little rock number for a few weeks now, and I was instantly in love with it when I first heard it. I have had kind of a love/hate relationship with Fall Out Boy, loving some stuff and hating other stuff, but there is no denying that these guys can turn out a killer single. This song is crazy catchy, and the chorus is infectious! Also, one MAJOR bonus, and perhaps the reason that I wanted to feature them this week, was that they donated $50,000 in opposition to Prop 8. Our straight allies are coming out of the wood work, and I am extremely proud to have them on our side; and it’s just a bonus that they make great pop music! Thanks for the support Fall Out Boy, and here is some support right back at you! I will DEFINITELY be getting their upcoming CD when it is released.

The Folk Implosion – Natural One
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_folkimplosion-naturalone.mp3]
Here’s this week’s 90s one hit wonder flashback track… and it’s a doozy. This song was in the controversial movie Kids, which I remember seeing in high school and being completely blown away at how gritty and no-holds barred it was. Regardless of how I felt about the movie, one thing REALLY stuck with me; this amazing song. I bought the CD single (remember doing that!!??), and my friend Chuck and I would drive around and listen to this song on repeat. After finding it again last night while I was looking for 90s one hit wonders, and listening to it again, I remember why I loved this song so much; it is epic. This song is so catchy, and the beat is so head bopping amazing, that even now, more than 10 years later, I find myself listening to it on repeat again. This song is fantastic, and I am glad to rediscover it. Just wait and see what else I have if you love this forgotten gem!!!

Whew, another Friday five on the books. Great stuff, eh? Let me know what you liked, or didn’t, and as always, tell me what you are listening to. I hope you enjoyed these tracks, and the addition of the 90s obscure track, and stay tuned for more songs that you probably loved, but probably forgot about ages ago!! Have a great weekend.