Tag: gay-marriage

civil rights, hotness, mixed media, politics, that is so gay

Tom Ford on gay marriage

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This morning, I read this interview with Tom Ford, and I really liked some of the things he had to say; especially what he said about the gay marriage issue in this country. Tom Ford is my number one celebrity crush, so of course, any time I have a sliver of a good reason to do a post about him, I will. In fact, thinking about that, I don’t post about him nearly enough!

In the article, when he was asked if he would marry his partner of over 20 years, after being together for so long, Ford responded with:

Yes, when it becomes a federal law. Right now it doesn’t do any good in the states. A few weeks ago Richard had to go into the hospital for something, and I had to carry around all these legal documents saying I could make medical decisions for him. It was insane. The fact that we are not married in the federal sense means that if I were to die, he’d have to pay all these taxes on my estate and receive but a fraction of it and he’d have to alter his life —whereas if we were married, he wouldn’t have to face that burden. That’s disgusting. It’s wrong. But that said, I think I am in favor of terming what I’m talking about as a civil partnership. We all get so caught up with this word marriage. For me, the word marriage is something that a religion should decide. Just give me all the same rights. A civil partnership is what I’d like for everyone—heterosexual as well as homosexual. Call it what you like—it’s the rights that are important. Getting hung up with the semantics derails the cause we’re all fighting for.

It really resonated with me, because that is exactly the way that people should view it. If the word marriage makes it such a sticky and religious issue, take “marriage” out of it. Give us the rights, you can keep the religious mumbo jumbo; we don’t want that part of it anyway. Additionally, the government shouldn’t back religious practices anyway, so if this will get us equal rights, I am all for it.

I for one, am sick and tired of someone holding up a book and determining what rights I get to have because of what that book may or may not have told them to believe as the truth; the same book that also told them to love thy neighbor, and not pass judgment. Wrapping civil rights up in religious institutions is not only wrong, it is unconstitutional. When will our government take a stand, and stand up for us?

civil rights, is it just me?, politics, that is so gay, tragic, venting, well?, wtf?!

Maine votes against gay marriage: some thoughts

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Yesterday, Maine’s vote sent a(nother) clear message to me: gay people do not matter to the majority of Americans. I am sure that many will argue that this is not the position of most Americans, but the message is too clear to ignore. Our civil rights are constantly up for debate, and constantly, we have them taken away. I cannot interpret that as anything other than a message that we do not matter; this society does not see fit to grant us the same rights and liberties as the rest of Americans.

It’s interesting, because this same society gladly takes our tax money, our contributions to society, and expects us to serve our country, but people continue to pass laws that reflect whether or not they feel “comfortable” with the “idea” of us getting married? Um, how does that work? That’s not just “unfair”, it’s un-American.

Isn’t the constitution supposed to grant freedom; not take it away? Additionally, isn’t the constitution supposed to protect us from the government making decisions about whether or not to strip us of our civil rights? Where are the values and principles that represent the underlying foundation of this nation? They are glaringly absent when you look at any vote for or against anyone’s civil rights. This bears repeating: voting for or against anyone’s rights goes against the very foundation of this country. We are all supposed to be free and equal. By putting this up for a vote, more than half of the people in Maine have gone against the foundation of our nation, and have made it clear that they feel as if it is okay to make the decision against gay people being equal.

Again, how does this make sense?

Every time we vote for or against the civil rights of any group of people in this country, especially minorities, we are sending a clear message that their rights do not matter. No one should ever have to campaign to have the popular vote determine whether or not they can have the same rights as everyone else. It’s just plain wrong.

Shame on 53% of Maine voters for believing that their opinion matters more than the rights of gays and lesbians living in Maine. Since this isn’t the first, and it will not be the last time that our rights are in the hands of those that wish to discriminate, I also say shame on any American who thinks that their opinion matters more than someone’s civil rights.

One final thing. In looking for the results of the vote this morning, I came across this article, and I have to comment on the quote from Jeff Flint:

Voters have a pretty good grasp about what they think marriage should be. It’s not that they’re discriminatory or bigoted. They just draw the line at what they think marriage should be.

Um, what? I’m sorry, but I will never allow anyone who says bullshit like this to have a free pass. If you are against gay marriage, you are against it because of discrimination; that is what you voted on. You voted specifically in order to discriminate against gay people. Jeff, just because you are able to some how twist your illogical thoughts into what you consider rational doesn’t not get you off the hook. You represent a discriminatory body of Americans that have “values” and beliefs that are most certainly based on bigotry. You can’t take away someone’s rights and say that you did it for “personal reasons” or “personal beliefs”, and then in the same breath say, “but I have nothing against them”. Perhaps he should actually look up the word discrimination, because I don’t think he understands the concept.

Perhaps he, and others like him, should keep their opinions to themselves, and stop using them to determine whether or not someone else should or should not have equal rights. Feel free to define marriage however you want; just don’t decide how I, or anyone else, has access to my civil rights.

civil rights, hmm interesting, is it just me?, that is so gay, venting, wtf?!

a lot of little things really add up

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I just took a survey in order for $20 credit added to my account for a website I bought a product from. To be quite honest, I was sort of offended that I was not given any option other than single, married, widowed, divorced, or separated in the relationship question field. Since none of those apply to me, I left that question blank, but the survey wouldn’t submit without it, so I had to chose an incorrect response.

I know it may seem “meager” or “nit-picky” but it’s honestly little things like this that constantly reaffirm the second class status of gay people. I ended up emailing them, because sometimes, it really is simple ignorance, and I was hoping that was the case in this instance. Here was the email I sent:

I just took the survey on your website after committing to buy one of your products, and I find it interesting that you don’t offer an option for same sex couples. Clearly, we cannot get married in most parts of the US, as well as most of the world, and I am slightly offended that I was required to answer the question as a part of your survey; because I am neither single, NOR married. Granted, I didn’t have to take the survey, but since I did, I felt compelled to drop you a line to let you know that a simple inclusion field for partnered/in a relationship would clear this whole thing right up; that, or not requiring that I answer the question with an incorrect answer. Thanks, Duane Moody

They replied with:

Hi Duane,
You are absolutely correct. We need to fix this survey right away – and we will do so as soon as possible.

Like I said, this may be incredibly minor, but when you take a bunch of minor things (as well as some major ones) they start to really add up after a while, and every new one is just a reminder of every other one before it. I can now cross this one off the list, and appreciate the fact that they responded quickly and kindly. I am sure that a lot of people see it as complaining, and sweating the small stuff, but I see it as all part of the bigger picture. We have to be recognized as equal; not just considered later when we bring it up that we were excluded.

This is not really a “little thing”, but there was a raid on the Eagle last night, that reeks of Stonewall-esque civil rights infringement, and it really brings home the point that I am trying to make about our struggle being FAR from over. Some thoughts about the Eagle raid: while they may have gone in on suspicion of “seedy” behavior, and they may have been well within their rights to shut things down for not having the proper permit, from the sound of it, they had a very heavy hand in doing so. I know that if I would have been there, legally drinking in a bar, one that holds a legal liquor license, and would have been handcuffed OR searched, without explanation, I would have been outraged. Even though I wasn’t there, I can’t help but read this, feel as though The Eagle and its patrons were being targeted because it was a gay establishment. I don’t like to think those things, but the description (especially the recall of one person who was there) of the event, makes almost impossible not to.

Honestly, if it is what it sounds like it is, it is really unbelievable that it happened; not only in Atlanta, but in 2009. I, for one, would like to know why the cops aren’t out there working on stopping the violent crimes that have been escalating over the past couple of years; instead of raiding gay bars? If we have such a “shortage” of funds and police force, why are they focusing on the lack of a permit for dancers in a gay bar, instead of bigger, more dangerous stuff? Couldn’t they have issued some kind of warning, or citation that would certainly wouldn’t necessitate a raid? Again, the more I look at this situation, the more it reeks of discriminatory action. I’m interested to see how this Eagle raid story develops, and I hope that it doesn’t fall squarely on the ever-growing list of acts discrimination against gay people in this country; because whether the items are big or small, it’s a really long list.

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congratulations are in order…

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First off, to Michael Phelps for becoming the first person to win 8 gold medals in one Olympics. Is there anything this guy can’t do?? I can’t help but feel this amazing sense of pride for him, because of everything he has worked for, and has now achieved. What an awesome story, and what a great achievement!!! Congratulations, Michael! You rock buddy!

Secondly, a HUGE congrats to one of the only A-list gay couples in this country on getting married this weekend!!! Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi have said their “I dos”, becoming one of only A-list MARRIED gay couples in America! All my best to Ellen and Portia, who make a fabulously beautiful couple, as well as a beautiful set of role models for all of the gay community. Being an out couple, and one with such a positive image at that, makes me so happy that they represent our community. Through their publicity, and continued positive exposure as a couple, these two amazing women help to make being gay more of a normal occurrence in this world. I hope that they had an amazing day, and I wish them love, life, and happiness together. Congratulations, Ellen and Portia!

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wedding shopping list

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One of my best friends is getting married this weekend, and I am in the bridal party. Here’s the breakdown of monies that I have spent thus far:

  • 2 nights hotel stay: $286.20
  • Flight to and from Ft. Lauderdale: $293
  • 3-button black suit, 100% wool: $99.99
  • Cuffs for the pants: $12
  • Shoes: $49.99
  • Belt: $14.99
  • Shirt: $21.99
  • Total: $778.16

    • (wow, I didn’t realize it was so much!)

Being in one of your best friend’s wedding, even though you can’t get married: Priceless. Don’t get me wrong, I am not bitter, it is just an observation, seriously. I am so happy that I get to be in her wedding, and I love my friend to bits and pieces (she knows this), HOWEVER, I really wish that gay people could do it too. If not marriage, at least something where we could get the hoo and haw of being in a relationship for years, and having our commitment recognized. That’s all, really.

I am excited about this weekend, but I am nervous; I don’t know ANYONE other than my friend (the bride), and her soon to be husband. That should make things interesting to say the least!

civil rights, get over it!, hmm interesting, is it just me?, politics, public health, that is so gay, venting, well?, wtf?!

why is gay marriage an issue?

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I keep hearing all of this stuff about trying to find each presidential candidate’s position on gay marriage, and I have ask… why is gay marriage an issue that should be the concern of a president? Seriously? The issue is not gay marriage; it is civil rights. Marriage is the word that the use to describe the religious procedure of getting bound to another person for life. The only thing that could make it an issue, is that it is currently recognized by the government as a legal union, and there are privileges that come with its status. However, it is not the issue, and I don’t get why we are so concerned with that word; marriage.

I would happily take a civil union any day; so long as it afforded me EQUAL rights. I don’t give two shits about calling my partnership a “marriage” vs. calling it a “civil union”; so long as we are treated equally under the law of our government. I personally think that should be more of the focus, as this issue will always be used as more of a wedge than anything, and no person in their right mind is going to go up against the juggernaut that is the Christian church. Also, isn’t there supposed to be a separation of church and state? So again, why not stop calling it “gay marriage” as an issue?

I think that if you get married, good for you; you should also have to file for a civil union, which should be the only union the government officially recognizes. Make it standard for everyone, and make it available for gays and lesbians as well. Keep marriage in the churches, take religion out of the equation, and things can be more acceptable for everyone, right? Perhaps this is too simple of a concept, but it boggles my mind that gay marriage is all anyone ever asks about when it comes to gay and lesbian rights and a presidential candidate. (what about gay civil rights of other people throughout the world? I think that should be a huge concern of ours as well; but that is a more lengthy conversation).

I realized this more fully when I was reading what Obama said, and the “reaction” from some of the gays that he was against gay marriage. We don’t need to fight for religious justification; we need to fight for equality. Sure, the fight for gay marriage is a fight for equality, but it isn’t necessarily the same thing; take religious practice out of the picture officially. These church driven people are NEVER going to give us the “right” to take their “sacred” practice (now with a 50+% failure-rate!) for ourselves, so we should just drop the shit already. I am tired of continually giving it back to them so they can wedge it between what’s really important and this dance that we have been stuck in forever. I am for equality; nothing less, nothing more. Doesn’t that sound like a more fruitful fight?

Unrelated link: This is quite fascinating if it is true; apparently, the first AIDS case was in 1969 in the US. This makes me wonder; why didn’t it spread to the epic proportions that it has today? What was the factor that caused it to spread so rapidly in the 1980s that was different 11 years earlier? If this man was the first documented case of AIDS, how many people had it before him; and who infected him? It really turns the notion of epidemiology on its head, because it really did occur in a seemingly singular incident. Weird.