Tag: changes

all about me, near and dear

one month in… again

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When I was in college (undergrad), my roommate Dennis was a vegetarian, and being extremely health conscious at the time, I thought that it might be an interesting option for myself, and so I decided to give being a vegetarian a try. I ended up lasting about two years before I had meat (I was vacationing in Europe, and the language barrier forced it on me!), and it was probably 7 years or so before I had beef again. Well, recently, I have been looking at my eating habits, and I have been wanting to make some changes, so I thought about going vegetarian again.

So… a month ago (actually, 32 days ago today), I decided to go vegetarian again. Now, some of you will be all “nuh uh, you’re cheating” about this, but I am actually more accurately described as pescetarian, because I am not excluding fish from my diet; note that many doctors try to get vegetarians to each fish because of the vitamins that only come from animals, and fish don’t have legs, so it is easier for some to eat them. I will admit that this recent decision is partly because of dietary choices, but there is a large component of my decision that stems from how animals that are harvested for their meat are treated before slaughter. I always knew that meat comes from something with a face and legs, but I have read a lot about how incredibly horrible some animals are treated, and as such, it just helped me make my decision for myself. I am not against anyone eating meat, that’s their choice, but I just wanted to stop being a part of it myself.

So there it is. One month in, and I feel great about my re-decision to go to life of vegetarianism (plus fish!). I’m actually glad that I decided to go back, because I did feel great being vegetarian before, and it was unbelievably easy for me to re-embrace the lifestyle. Seriously, have you had a veggie corn dog!? They are awesome! Other than that, being a vegetarian basically introduced me to the world of vegetables, and I am much more willing to try things now as a result. I used to shun anything green because I was raised as a “meat and potatoes” kid, but now, I can’t get enough of things like Brussels sprouts because I became a vegetarian. I am glad to get back to that too; eating more healthy is something that goes hand and hand with vegetarianism for me, and I am glad to be re-instituting that in my life.

I wanted to wait a whole month before saying anything about this on the blog, so as to show that I am serious about it. I am going to do everything I can to make this a permanent change in my life, which I know will only be the better for it (especially health wise). Hooray for vegetarianism and me, together again!

music musings, shiny stuff

a little suprise

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Last night, I was driving home from having drinks with a friend, and I was not in the mood for whatever CD I had in at the time, so I thought I would see what was playing over on trusty XM. A little background… I have had XM ever since I got my Acura, back in August of 2005, because it came in the car, and well, I guess it is one of those things that I COULD live without, but since it is BUILT IN, I have kept my subscription current. It does get annoying though, that some of the channels have commercials; especially since their claim is radio free of commercials. Well, for the most part, they are right, but there are a few that play ’em anyway. Overall, it’s alright, and not something I consider to be a deal breaker at this point.

Anyway, I was really excited when Sirius and XM merged earlier this year, because I have heard that Sirius has several channels that I might be interested in; specifically, BBC 1. My friend Deb got a new Jeep not too long ago, and she has Sirius built in, and she has continually fueled my jealousy that she gets BBC 1, because the programming is pretty great for someone that loves brit-pop as much as she and I both do.

Alright, sorry for the tangent; back to last night… I started flipping through the preset channels, and I notice that Upop (a BBC 1 knockoff) had been replaced by BBC 1!! Apparently, XM quietly changed all of their channels (some stayed the same) at some point yesterday, and I couldn’t be happier. I LOVE BBC 1, and it is just one more reason to keep my XM subscription now! As for the other changes, I haven’t really explored them yet, but if you are interested, here’s the 411 on all of the changes.

This morning on my way in to work, some slow guy called in to one of the channels, and asked, “what’s the deal with the channels?”, and the DJ told him about the changes in the line up and told him to check out the website, but apparently she overwhelmed him, because he couldn’t grasp why these changes were made. Some people just don’t get the technologies, do they?

Thank you XM!! Hooray for BBC 1 in my car, and in my life!

all about me

uninspired, or just stuck… just fix it

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I have been wondering what is keeping me from doing things that I like to do (like taking pictures) recently (and for quite a while now), but I don’t think that it is because I am uninspired so much as I feel a bit stuck. I feel like I am waiting… waiting on things to materialize on next steps for some things, and here I am, trapped in the interim, and I am just stuck. I have felt a bit in a rut lately, but I think that I am just beginning to really notice it; I think it is bigger than even I see.

I need to pull myself out somehow. I really respect other people that seem so adept at doing that for themselves, and hope to take some of their success as motivation for my own use. I guess I tend to get caught up in the goings on of every day, and find myself waiting for the next day… EVERY day. That is where the rut comes into play, and it almost always sneaks up on me, as it has done in this most recent case.

I am writing it here, because I want to make an effort to try a bit harder not to be so complacent, and to motivate myself. Perhaps putting it out there will make a difference? Who knows. It has and hasn’t in the past, but at least it’s a step. ANY step feels like a success right now.

I think that part of it, is that there are so many things that I want changed, that I start to see all of them, and I let them overwhelm me, and I end up not doing anything at all… and I hate that about me. I’ve always been that way too, so I don’t see that as something that I can change, so much as I can just deal with it. It’s weird, because I feel like I am all or nothing in some things; like when I was so obsessed with my weight, that I worked out 6 days a week, and weighed a crazy-skinny 160 lbs. Now, I look at myself in the mirror, and wonder what the fuck happened? I have gained so much weight, and feel so lazy because I am not doing anything about it. Yet, instead of going to work out and fix it, I just skip working out and sulk. This is one of the worst aspects of the rut and the complacency, yet I can’t seem to shake it. I feel like writing it down may make me a bit more accountable, but I don’t even know if that will make a difference.

I just wish I could tap into some (SOME) of that tenacity that I used to have… some of the old me to help the new me shake this rut; even if it is only for a little while. I’m telling myself right now that I am going to try, and honestly, that’s the best that I can do. I hope that it works.

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reconnecting and wow, time flies

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It all started yesterday morning; I got several emails and comments from an old friend from college, one who I haven’t seen or spoken to in years. I was so shocked, because this friend was such a close friend, and when I moved away from college, we fell out of touch. I know now, that it was because of several changing aspects of my life (I came out right after college, which was MOST of the reason I just went forward, without looking back) that led to rapid changes, and leaving old friends behind; but that doesn’t mean that I ever forgot about them. And hearing from her was such an amazing surprise.

It was amazing to hear how much things have changed (she got married and has 2 kids!) in the last 7 years, and it really makes you realize how quickly things can shift and change, as well as how quickly time flies. We ended up talking on the phone last night for the first time in years, and it was as if we had seen each other the day before (but with more stories, of course); and it was great! There are very few people in your life that will have an impact on you, and Vanessa definitely had a huge impact on my life (as well as Beth, whom I am looking forward to reconnecting with soon too! Email me!). While I do regret that we lost touch for so long, I must say, that reconnecting is probably the best thing ever, because it clearly highlights that there is no reason for us to lose touch again. We have to hold onto those special connections in our lives, and this is a very good reminder of how important it is to do just that.

I was seriously on cloud nine last night, because it was amazing to reconnect with someone that I am so close to, even though it has been years since we have seen each other. I also makes me reflect on the changes and choices we make in our lives, and it makes me want to stop for a moment and think about how some of those changes have affected me, and my connections with others. I can honestly say that there are very few people in my life that I would truly consider “best” friends (I know that best indicates one, but I have a few, alright!), and I am just in shock that I was lucky enough to reconnect with one of mine. (Thanks Vanessa for contacting me!!) This blog, if it has served no other purpose than to give me room to share my thoughts and opinions, I can definitely say that it has provided an opportunity for me to reconnect with someone very special to me, that I haven’t seen in years.

How awesome is this world that we live in, that even though time, distance, hundreds of miles, several years, and everything in between can separate us for whatever reason, that sometimes, if we are lucky, we can come back to what matters most to us at some point in the future? Thank goodness for the internets!! You have served me well old friend!! And thanks to Vanessa for googleing me! I am just elated to day, ya’ll… That’s all I can say really; I am just happy to have been lucky enough to reconnect with a great friend, and I totally look forward to making sure that we don’t lose touch again!

all about me, near and dear

where oh where did my willpower go?

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I used to be Mr. No when it came to bad foods.

French Fries? None for me, thanks.

Cheeseburger? No thanks, I’ll have the salad.

Pizza? Are you joking? I’ll just skip it, I’m not even hungry anyway.

But lately, and over the past year or so, my willpower has all but disappeared. We eat pretty much whatever comes up as a craving, or whatever is easiest to prepare, and more often than not, that includes foods that I would normally have been able to pass on for a healthier option. Now, we don’t really go crazy, and like eat fried chicken and pizzas every night, but more often than not, I seem to find myself unable to say no to things, and I end up eating even if I am not hungry. Kind of like when you go to a Mexican place, and you tell yourself you won’t eat any chips, and the next thing you know, your hand is in the basket like everyone else’s.

I have started to notice, much more than before, that my clothes don’t fit anymore. Stuff that I bought 6 months ago doesn’t fit anymore. I put on a shirt that I hadn’t worn in a while the other morning, and it was like putting on a little kid’s shirt. I almost freaked out. I am not saying that I think that I am fat, because even though I have gained a staggering 50-60 lbs from when I was at my target weight (several years ago), I have been told more than once that I carry it well. But I am getting tired of carrying it around.

Yes, I know that my willpower is to blame here. Not just with food, but definitely with booze. I am going to lay off of the beer for a little while, and try to stop drinking as often. Hey, drinking every day is fun, but we need to scale back (I guess). If there was only a calorie free alcohol option… *googles it*… oh well. At least there’s only 55 calories in a shot of Vodka… and if you have it with a diet drink, you are actually doing a good thing, right? No? Oh well, we will work on Mr. Willpower coming back onto the scene, so that we can say no to the booze (baby steps), as well as to the bad foods.

I have decided that it is time to get serious, and perhaps even drastic here. I am going to UP my workout schedule significantly, and I am starting on one of those fancy-schmancy diet supplements (from what I can tell by the ingredients, it is mostly green tea). Let’s see if we can find the old duane somewhere inside of the new, more plump duane. He wants to come out and where those clothes that fill most of our closet.

Anyone else experiencing a period of fatness? What are you doing to rid your body of the extra you?