Tag: assholes

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Yelp: a(nother) soapbox for bigots?

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Imagine my surprise when someone requested to be friends with me on Yelp today, and I find out that he is writing extremely hurtful and bigoted remarks about me in one of his “reviews”. Not only did he post the review, but after it was taken down, he was allowed to remain member of Yelp, AND, re-posted a similar version of the review just a few minutes later.

Here’s what he said (the first time around), in “response” to my review of my experience at Green’s Liquor store:

After reading Duane M. review of Green’s Beverage Store, I had to fire back. I visit Green’s Beverage store once or twice a month. Everyone there has always been very nice and helpful.
However, I have never carried a purse and I don’t understand why a man would. You said you are not a woman, but after reading all your reviews you sure do act and bitch like a woman. Come on, we all know that someone that wants to homosexualize America likes to pretend that he is a woman. Perhaps Duane should take the dildo out of his ass!! Fucking pussys like you make me sick. When you choose to suck another man’s dick or take some guys cock up your ass, you become a 2nd class citizen. You have no right to ever bitch. Please keep your mouth shut and get back into the closet.
hmmmm, and you wonder why most of America hates gays.

So eloquent. Let’s look at the face of a true bigot, and oh so clearly one of the highest forms of complete and total asshole, Jake P. of Dacula, GA, shall we:


Just take it in… all that asshole-ishness is almost too much to contain. By the way, nice lip gloss, Jake.

Now, the review was flagged, and eventually taken down, and I didn’t even know about it until I randomly read this thread. However, Yelp allowed him to post another review, very similarly filled hate speech as the first one:

After reading Duane M. review that he likes to dress up like a woman and wants to homesexualize American, I had to do something. I go into Green’s a few times a month and everyone is very nice and helpful.
But, Duane with his fag bag is acting like a little bitchy woman.
Perhaps if Duane got his dildo out of his ass, all of America would be a better place to live in. Duane what you wrote about Green’s was pure hateful, you being a little light in the loafers should understand what is it to be hated.
You are not a woman, your worse. Your a 2nd class citizen, start acting like one.

That second review was even better, Jake flexes his superior knowledge of all things grammar (um, it’s you’re, sweetness, not your).

While this will probably be taken down as well (I’m fairly certain it has of this posting), I can’t help but question why Yelp would allow someone like this to remain a member of their site? As a member of Yelp for YEARS, I was honestly considering deleting everyone of my reviews and publicly declaring myself against their organization; especially because they did not initially seem to have much concern for their members (if only because this guy was allowed to go on posting hate speech, even after he was “punished” for doing it the first time). Not only am I extremely offended by the bigot that was allowed to spread his hate about me without any repercussion (on a public website that I am willingly a part of), but I am even more upset that they there was very slow response to one member of their site clearly gay bashing another (my point being that he was allowed to continue using the site with no restriction).

Well, I sent this post to the Atlanta Ambassador for Yelp, and I got an answer and a clear and expected response, and they are taking care of it. That is a major plus in the Yelp column. As I mentioned above, I considered severing ties with Yelp, because I have had enough people call me a faggot to my face during my lifetime, to continue supporting a web service that just gives someone the platform to do it to me on the internet. However, because of Yelp’s positive and proactive actions, I will not go that far. HOWEVER, and that is a BIG however, I still think that people like this should be banned from the site after a post as bad as his was; 3 strikes is clearly 2 too many with things like this. A first offense of this nature should not be tolerated. If you are clearly bashing another member of the site, do you really deserve a chance to keep contributing? It honestly destroys my hope for humanity when people like this rear their ugly heads, and spread their hatred for all to see.

UPDATE: BANNED. Yelp wins. AWESOME. Thank you YELP!!! I really makes me happy that Yelp takes things like this seriously.

Yeah, you’re right… being gay isn’t all that bad anymore. Being second class isn’t that big of a deal. Things are just swell for us, and we should stop complaining. RIIIIGHT.

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city and colour/tegan and sara @ the tabernacle 9-30-08

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On Tuesday night, James and I threw caution to the wind, and went out on a school night to see one of the most amazing acts that I have come across in a long time, City and Colour; as well as Tegan and Sara, whom he was opening for. In case I haven’t gotten you to listen to Dallas Green’s solo project, City and Colour before now, you must do yourself a favor; this guy is the real deal. Check this out:


Amazing. His set, albeit short, was amazing. His sound is so beautiful, and his voice literally makes me weak in the knees. I am so glad that he was on the Tegan and Sara tour, so that I could see him perform live. After his performance, James and me went to the merch booth, and picked up his CD in hopes that he would come out and we could meet him. James asked the merch guy (who was this hot tattooed from head to toe guy) if Dallas came out after the show, and he told James that he does, and usually just walks around… he told us to keep an eye out for the flanel. Well, about 15 minutes later, James and I spotted Dallas walking around the Tabernacle, and he was kind enough to pose for a couple of pictures, and sign autographs for us, and some other fans. It was kind of funny, really, because he seemed a bit overwhelmed, like he didn’t expect anyone to want to meet him or anything. He seemed like a really humble, and incredibly sweet guy. I was glad we met him and got autographs; I love meeting artists, and it is certainly great when they are as talented as Dallas.

After the meet and greet, we went back in and enjoyed Tegan and Sara for a while before heading home. I have to say, that I liked them before, but I am definitely more of a fan after seeing them live; they were cute and very good live. Overall, the concert was great, and while the first opening band Girl in a Coma, was not my cup of tea (the lead singer did this really creepy look with her eyes the whole time!), they were very good as well. It was a great night of music.

However…

While we were watching Girl in a Coma, and waiting for City and Colour to take the stage, this annoying fucking drunk bitch pushed her way up behind James and myself, and proceeded to shout everything she was thinking or feeling at the moment to her douchebag drunk boyfriend. It got to one point that they were fighting about her standing too close to some guy, and something about her cheating, and she was furious, and just shouting over City and Colour at that point. I literally turned around, and got about a foot from her face, and I put my finger over my mouth and loudly said, “SHHHHHH”, in her face. It shut her up for the moment, but it wasn’t long before both of those assholes were talking over the act again. Everyone around us was frustrated as well, because you could see people turning around to see what the fuck was up with these two who clearly had never heard of the word “tact”, and were fighting in the middle of a standing room only concert. The girl in front of me turned to them as asked them to be quiet, and they got uppity with her, and I turned around again, in both of their faces and yelled, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”, to which the asshole boyfriend informed me he could do what he wanted. I told them to shut the fuck up, and go to the back if they wanted to fight, because I payed to see City and Colour, NOT to listen to them run their mouths. After that, I was literally shaking with anger; if that guy had of kept talking, I think I would have decked him. I don’t get mad very often, but when people act like they did, it really makes my blood boil; especially when I have paid to see something, and they are actively set on ruining it. Overall, I don’t know how people like that make it in life, because they were so fucking rude, I doubt they have any friends or do anything outside of their own selfish lives; being considerate is apparently not a trait learned by everyone. Needless to say, I let it get to me, which made me madder, but I couldn’t just stand there any let them ruin an otherwise amazing performance. If you watch this other video (below), you will also notice in it how you can hear people talking; which I just don’t get why people can’t shut up and listen to the act playing. So what if they are the opening act, they might be the one that someone next to you is there to here; show the respect that they deserve, and be courteous to your fellow concert goer, okay?!


I am glad we high tailed away from the couple from hell after City and Colour left the stage, because they started back up as soon as he was done. Assholes.

dallas green and meEither way, I got to meet Dallas (see here to the left, it’s me, and Dallas!), who was super nice, and all in all, I think that it was worth having to put up with inconsiderate assholes in order to see him and Tegan and Sara live. I really, really hope I never encounter people like that at another concert, because it really ruins the fun that you are supposed to have at a show, and has the potential to ruin an otherwise good night. Thank goodness we got away from them when we did, and I am just glad that I said something, because if I hadn’t, I would have been even more angry.

On a final photography related note, if you want to see the other photos that I took, be sure to check out the set on flickr.

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the wrong way to act take two: bitchy old queen of a bartender edition

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What happened last night can only be described as surreal. Trying to order a drink at a bar got me yelled at, to which I walked away from, and then the bartender came after me for more, which led to my ultimately leaving the bar. I think that what I wrote for my yelp review is pretty expressive of the experience, so I felt that I should let that tell the story (with minor edits):

To the bitchy, old, full of herself queen that works the bar:

Just because you are bitter that you have to work Saturday nights, instead of getting your party on, doesn’t make it okay to take it out on the patrons of this clearly “second tier” establishment. You clearly have some anger issues that need professional attention, and I suggest that if you are going to continue to be a bartender, that being a complete and utter ASSHOLE should be something that you should work on, stat.

Basically, here’s the story. I have been to Oscars several times, but never have I thought anything other than, “oh, we have to go there… ugh”. Mostly, because the bar is a bit tragic, and as far as gay bars go in ATL, it was always very close to the bottom of my list of choices. Well, after last night, it is now the last place I would EVER step foot into again.

A good friend of mine was celebrating his birthday, and we decided to go to Burkharts, which is right across the parking lot from Oscars. After becoming annoyed with the ever growing crowd at Burkharts, it was decided that we should move on to Oscars, because, as expected, it wouldn’t be as crowded (it never really is… which is probably reflective of why I will never set foot in there again). After paying tabs and making our way over, we settled on the patio outside, which was empty except for our group.

I went back inside to get a drink, and found an empty place at the bar to lean in and ask for a drink. There were two bartenders standing directly in front of me, one mixing a drink, and the other just standing there. They both made continual eye contact with me, and taking that as a cue, I simply leaned in and said, “can I have a miller lite?”, assuming that their eye contact meant that they were curious as to how they could help me. What I wasn’t expecting was the aforementioned old bitchy asshole’s response. He was the one making the drink. His response literally took me by surprise, because he said in a very derogatory way, “well, I will, if you can WAIT YOUR TURN“, literally yelling the last part at me. Being the person that I am, who doesn’t really put up with bullshit, especially in situations where I am paying for a service, I put my money back in my pocket, said “fine then”, and walked back outside to my friends. I was a bit taken aback that he would be so rude, but just decided that this place wouldn’t be getting any of my money, and tried to move on.

Then, about 5 minutes later, the other bartender came outside to “cool me off” I guess, and stated that the asshole bartender was “just like that”, to which I told him that it was really rude, and that I wasn’t going to be going back in there to deal with it. He asked me if I wanted anything, and I told him that I didn’t appreciate the attitude, and that I was fine, for him to leave me alone. The whole conversation was civil, but still awkward, as the asshole had sent someone else out to feign a half-hearted attempt at an apology.

What I thought was over, can only be followed by a situation that ranks near the top of the most ridiculous, immature, and completely unacceptable experiences I have had in my life. The asshole that had been rude to be decided that he was going to come out and “straighten me out”. He came out on to the patio, and loudly declared that he was “looking for the idiot that couldn’t take a fucking joke”. I thought I could avoid the situation by remaining silent, but after continual demanding shouts of the same demeaning request, my blood was boiling, and so I told him that I was not an idiot because I didn’t want to put up with his attitude.

This quickly escalated into an all out shouting match between the asshole and myself; with every attempt I made to get him to leave me alone was met with him insulting me over and over again at the top of his lungs. It was clear that this asshole was 100% asshole, and there was no way that he was going to back down. I kept asking him to just shut up, and leave me alone, and he would not back down. I kept saying that I couldn’t believe that I was having such a ridiculous conversation with such an immature individual, to which he kept saying that he couldn’t believe how he was talking to such an idiot. I told him that he must be talking to himself, because I am not an idiot for decidedly not putting up with some asshole’s rude behavior. Finally, I told him that what he was expecting was for me to just put up with him being and asshole, and if that is what he wanted, that he could fuck off, and at that, he demanded that I leave the bar.

I told the people I was with that if they had rode with me, that I was clearly leaving, and the asshole even continued shouting at me as I tried to get out of the bar as fast as I could. He just wouldn’t stop. Needless to say, I left, and will NEVER return to Oscars again.

What really bothers me looking back on the situation, is how it escalated to a point where I was standing in a group of my friends trying to get this old fucker to leave me alone, and NO ONE spoke up, or defended me. Even after I left the bar, only one of my friends came outside to see how I was, and out of a group of almost 10 of my friends, not a single person inquired as to how I was after the obviously ridiculous and intense moment. I can say that without a shadow of a doubt, that if the same thing had happened to one of them, I would have spoken up, or at least seen how they were after the situation, but none of the same was afforded to me. That really bugs me, but there is nothing I can do about it, I can’t dictate the actions of others, which is clear when I couldn’t diffuse the bitchy asshole’s misplaced rant on me for not putting up with his bullshit.

I honestly wish I had never set foot in that bar last night, but I can’t take it back; just know that asking me to go back there is completely out of the question. And a final message for the bartender who acted like a complete asshole/child: grow up and learn how to deal with your anger, I am sure that it has ruined many relationships in your life, and you probably spend a lot of your time wondering what happened… well, I think I have an idea of where things might go wrong; stop being a douche to people that don’t deserve it, and perhaps people will be affording of your feelings in return. Just a thought.