Author: duane

funnies, is it just me?, that is so gay, tragic

God doesn’t hate anyone, Donnie

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Earlier this morning, I saw a link on a friend’s LJ to a website that listed “gay bands” that should be avoided (at least according to the anti-gay website). While the list is certainly funny, like how they write “(really gay)” next to Elton John’s name, and how the Indigo Girls made it on there twice (perhaps because there are two of them?), curiosity over things like this got the better of me, and so I thought I would take a look at what the rest of this site had to offer. After clicking through a few different pages (including the safe artist list; which includes Cyndi Lauper, so I guess they don’t know about her love for the gays), I got pretty much what I was expecting; the same old song and dance that should always be expected from these anti-gay “preachers”. All they have to offer is hate, hate which they disguise in the word love.

What I did find interesting about this particular “ministry”, is that Donnie Davies, the founder of the CHOPS program (more on that in a moment), is a self-professed “reformed homosexual”. Here’s what he has to say:

I am in fact a Reformed Homosexual and I’m trying to let people know that there is an escape from being Gay. By letting people know that “God hates a Fag” I am doing Gods work, I’m preaching.

When I was in highschool I kept having feelings for the boys I was in school with. Often I would let these feelings take over. I got into lots of trouble when I was Gay.

I stopped listening to secular music and started going to my fathers church services. I was so miserable, being gay, something had to happen. I found Jesus! I found Jesus and He showed me the way. The right way to live that is. Loving, Gods Way!

(from his website)

According to Donnie, who also cites his personal hero as being Oscar Wilde, who he mistakingly thinks also denounced homosexuality, by saying that “God Hates Fags”, he is actually spreading “Love”. But Donnie, you professed that you were a “Fag” in high school… so does that mean God hates you? Of course not! Because God doesn’t hate anyone… at least, not anyone that “chooses” to go against the ways of homosexuality! Eureka! What a revelation, Donnie. I am so happy that there are people out there like you with their tiny little minds, and their even smaller grasp of grammar and language to proselytize about your narrow-minded beliefs, bringing other narrow-minded automatons into your little program of hate.

And what a program it is. Donnie has developed what he calls CHOPS; Changing Homosexuals (into) Ordinary People. The logo, which I got at his website, just gives me a hard on looking at it. Seriously, this thing is homo-genius! The devil is in your underpants, but God is in your mind! I am almost on my way to being saved! Coming down from my cynicism, and despite the uber-gay logo, I don’t see how his “innovative” “new” strategy of forcing God down my throat to make me hate myself is going to “change” me, or anyone into an “ordinary” person (I already am ordinary?!). Perhaps there is something I don’t know… like maybe Donnie is a wizard or something, because according to his site, he implies that his program has the ability to change the feelings you have towards people of the same sex, and help you to stop acting on those feelings. I mean, he did it! To be honest, that sounds like magic to me, because I am pretty sure that Donnie’s program won’t do anything more teach the same self-hatred he has had for himself all these years. I would love to ask him if he still feels sexual feelings about other men, because I can bet the farm he does (and remember Donnie, lying is a sin!).

What you forget, Donnie, is that according to your Bible, God doesn’t hate “fags” (in fact, I don’t think that word is in the Bible), and He actually says that he loves everyone… oh wait, that’s Jesus, but since Jesus is God, there is no need to split hairs. Perhaps God may hate things like ingrown hairs, mosquitoes, and melted ice cream, but I am pretty sure he doesn’t hate homosexuals; because if he created us, how could an infallible God (under the Bible’s definition) do something wrong? Whatever God said and did is why we are here the way we are, right? And he isn’t wrong, right? So being gay is a-okay! Right? In fact, he probably doesn’t hate those other things either… since, according to your Bible, He created them!! Woohoo! God is awesome. God likes everything. What a swell supreme being. I sure as hell am glad he made me the way I am!! Thanks dude!

Seriously, I don’t care whether you “agree” with homosexuality or not, Donnie, but at least have the guts to stop hiding behind religious oppression, as an excuse for your natural feelings about men (trust me… been there, done that. Not fun). If you don’t want to act on them, fine, but don’t go around spreading hateful messages about those of us that choose to act on our natural feelings. Well, you know what, actually, I take that back. You should go on doing what you are doing, because if you keep it up in the way that you have started (via the spotty, poorly developed website), the majority of people that can think for themselves will just see you as an idiot anyway; especially those that have any level of education, and have a reading level above the 2nd grade.

I honestly feel sorry for people like Donnie, who just can’t be happy, and because of their denial and self-hatred, have to “go on a mission” to “save” the world from the thing they are most afraid of: being themselves. Why don’t you just focus on making the world a better place for everyone, without the hate part, Donnie? Because I am pretty sure that would be more of what God would want. I just hate that there are people out there that will think programs like this can change them, and so they will go down that road of self hatred, right along with Donnie. What I wouldn’t give to help people realize that being gay is okay; I know that someone helping me would have been great… luckily, I came to be happy with myself on my own.

A final aside: I find it incredibly hilarious that this site (his ministry site) goes on and on about censorship, because MySpace took down his hateful site, when one of the main goals of people like Donnie is to stop certain things from reaching the public (via things like free speech and freedom of expression). I for one am glad to see that MySpace does have some standards in the content (well, that may be going a bit far) they allow, but do believe that Donnie has the right to say what he wants; so long as he realizes that with the right to freedom, you get the whole shebang… not just the little niche that protects racists and bigots from screaming their hate all over the world. (which a lot of you pointed out when I got all pissy about the anti-gay billboard)

I wrote this post mainly because it was a silly example of the craziness that goes on in this world, and I had a good laugh at the ignorance of this person; and thought you might as well. I honestly feel sorry for Donnie, and others like him, because one of the worst things you can do to yourself is deny who you are and turn that into self hatred. What a pity.

all about me, james says, near and dear

insecurities gone too far

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It started innocently enough, it started with a plan to spend the day together.

Things were going great; playing video games, going to visit some friends, planning what to eat for dinner, and talking about what movies to watch.

The evening went on, you cooked me dinner, and we watch our shows together. The day went so well, and I have had such a good time, with you.

And then you did it. You let your insecurities go too far. You asked me if I had faked being happy. You asked me if I had faked being happy. You wanted to know whether I would rather have spent my time somewhere else, or with someone else. But what you didn’t know, is that I was happy, and I was right where I wanted to be.

When things start out so well, we don’t know where they will go. Hopefully, they can just happen, and we can just be together and enjoy it is for what it is; but that didn’t happen this time. You let your insecurities get the better of you, and what happened, is, even though you said you were sorry, they hurt me. What you should know, is that you have no reason to be insecure with me, I love you. I am not going to change that; but I can’t go on being second guessed. I understand a reason to be weary of love; it involves taking a huge gamble, but you have already won, there is no reason to worry. I need you to know that I can’t have you wondering if I would rather be elsewhere when I am with you. If I do want to be somewhere else, I will tell you, and I hope that will be okay, but that was not the case with today.

I believe there is definitely more work that we are going to have to do here. Definitely.

I just wish that we could co-exist, and have our time we spend together be good, and time we spend apart be good as well. I just wish that I could have some space when I need it, and it not carry the price of hurting you, or making you feel insecure; even during the times I am standing right beside you. I just wish…

"pointless", blog on blog, mixed media, the catch-all-egory

yay! it’s friday!

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So, I guess the randomness from the other day is infectious, because I seem to still be infected with it. So here we go:

  • I found out what it means to be Jewish today. No, I didn’t convert, I have a friend that is Jewish, and she helped me understand the “difference” between the religion and the ethnicity. It was cool to clarify something that I am sure a lot of people don’t know about unless it affects them personally. Needless to say, you can become Jewish if you convert, that’s the religion part. If you are born to a woman that is Jewish, you are Jewish by birth, whether you ascribe to the religion or not. Interesting! I love being an anthropologist sometimes… I should really use that more.
  • I have realized that I REALLY need to go on a diet. I am not saying that I am fat, so don’t even go there. But, regardless of that fact, I need to lose some weight; I want to be able to wear my summer clothes when it comes back around. I have started back at the gym, but I need to be more regular about it. I will go today. I will!
  • I am “done” with my half-sleeve tattoo, but decided that I would go forward with getting my ankle touched up; since that is why I went in the first place to talk with Russ. I am actually kind of excited to see what he can do with it, because it is a pretty plain tattoo, and it really needs some work. I am sure he will be able to come up with something great; he really isn’t capable of anything less than great.
  • I realize that I have some pretty great friends/family. Last night, two people helped me get over a bad day, and I am really appreciative of that. Others are going to hang tonight, and the fun should keep going strong. And, my cousin called today just to say hi and tell me she loves me. Sometimes, it really is those little things that help me make it, you know?
  • I have been obsessed with plug-ins lately. I mean, wordpress is 1000 times better than Movable Type (mainly because MT ate my blog), and there are of these nifty plug ins to keep me from going bonkers trying to re-write the chicken scratch that is PHP. I changed the default gravatars icon so that I don’t hate it. I might change it again though; I can’t seem to find a gravatars plug-in that is easy to set up, install, or change the options of (that is, without potentially fucking something up completely).
  • My musical momentum still seems to be steaming along; I keep finding great stuff. I will be doing a music podcast next week (as I mentioned before), and I can’t wait. Music really is a passion of mine.

Well, that’s about all, because after all, it is Friday. Oh, one final note: we got our DSL modem from Bellsouth, and are waiting to have a phone jack put in the office (Monday). We got $250 of rebates, and I can’t wait to tell Comcast to shove it up their ComcASS! I hope it will be an improvement, but I will certainly be blogging it whether it is, or isn’t. Have a good weekend, ya’ll!

all about me, is it just me?, near and dear

awoken to waking memories

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I had a meeting early this morning, and was anxious about getting up early enough to make it, so I ended up waking up around 5am. While I was laying there trying to fall back asleep, in between tossing and turning and poking James to make him stop snoring, my mind, for whatever reason, drifted to memories that I haven’t thought of in probably 8 or 9 years. Most of what I was thinking about, where memories that I have blocked out, due to the fact that I had a pretty crappy childhood (despite the fact that there were actually a few high points). These were mostly memories of middle school and high school.

Here’s what I remember of the memories that flashed through my head this morning:

  • I remember running for Treasurer when I was in middle school (don’t remember what year). WTF was I thinking? I also remembered the speech… I remember hearing the “F” word (not fuck, ya’ll) a couple of times as I took the podium. Nice. Kids are so kind aren’t they?
  • I remember getting into a food fight in the cafeteria, and having to do lunch detention for it. The problem I had with that, was that we had food thrown at our table every day, and that was the one day we just couldn’t take anymore, and my friend Shelly threw her pizza at the jerks that threw food at us all the time. They had to do detention as well, but we were blamed. It is always those that fight back that are blamed.
  • I remember getting into a fight with a kid named Chris, and literally kicking him in the stomach after I knocked him on the ground. He picked on me all of the time, and I thought kicking his ass would make me feel better; and at that moment, it did.
  • I somehow became friends with this really popular girl when I started high school, and I was invited to sit at the popular table. One day their table was too full, and so I went to choose another seat, and they all came over to sit with me; one by one. One of the other girls (not the one that I initially became friends with) noticed I was sitting somewhere else, and came over to sit with me, and so I asked her, “why aren’t you sitting with your friends?”, and she replied, “what do you mean, I am.”. I thought I would burst with happiness, and I still get a warm feeling when I think about it.
  • I once fell asleep in Geometry class, which wasn’t so bad, because I usually am a pretty silent sleeper; what made it bad, was the sound/sensation of me farting woke me up. That is still embarrassing, damn. I seriously don’t think anyone noticed though, so I guess it wasn’t that bad.
  • I remember in 7th grade, something happened with the government (I seem to believe it was war/attack related?), and my social studies teacher didn’t teach class, and held us in her classroom for most of the day (since it was where we were when “it” happened). She said that if we had activities we could work on, we were more than welcome, and she included using Walkmans. I, for whatever reason, had mine, and listened to the Young Guns II Soundtrack. I have no idea why I remember that detail.

With all of these random glimmers of memories from my childhood coming back this morning, I tried harder and harder to remember other things; but the weird thing is, I really can’t. It is weird how you can block out feelings and memories to cope with bad things that have happened in your life (like my sister not remembering anything to do with her car accident). Even weirder still, is that I can’t unblock them. Anyone else have this same experience with blocked memories? If so, why? I could go into more detail about the crappy childhood if you wish, but my anxiety is high enough today without delving deep into it; so I will start with just this glimpse into it.

"pointless", civil rights, is it just me?

what to blog… what to blog…

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Hmm… I have been sitting here wondering off and on to myself all day, “self, what should you blog about?”, and honestly, I haven’t come up with much of anything. I would love to say something about Bush and his speech last night, but I couldn’t stand listening to him long enough to make it all of the way through. What I did hear was a bunch of promises that I don’t see how he can meet; but we will see. At least it is a start. On the other hand, I did agree with pretty much everything Senator Jim Webb said after the SOTU speech. He is one smart and brave guy, in my opinion.

I discovered Netvibes last week, and just started using it today. We will see how long that keeps my interest.

Also today, I am in a sort of debate with Recovering Baptist about the whole abortion = murder thing, and I honestly still can’t wrap my head around why people tend to be all or nothing on this issue (i.e., there are no circumstances in which abortion isn’t murder, etc.). I can understand that one would be against abortion; fine, but abortion isn’t murder, and it is also important to point out that there are regulations on abortion to prevent it from becoming murder (i.e., not allowing them in the 3rd trimester in almost every state; because the third trimester is widely held as the first time a fetus can live outside of the body, with very being able to survive few before that). So I just wonder, why am I seen as advocating the murder of a child, when I am not? What I am advocating, is the right of a woman to choose what happens to her body, her uterus, and her life; not whether a potential child should or should not be allowed to grow and become a separate living, breathing person, which again, isn’t murder. I am not advocating or promoting abortion; if it were me, I don’t know if I could honestly say that I would have one… but I would at least like the choice to be made by me, for me.

I think, and will always think, that abortion rids the body of cells, cells that are part of the mother, cells that could become a child if allowed to continue growing and developing; but a collection of cells nonetheless. I also feel like I try to see other people’s opinions on things, even if I don’t agree and don’t change my own, but on this issue, I find that most pro-life supporters tend to (with the exception of some) be, unfortunately, very narrow minded, which I find frustrating, because it doesn’t solve nor shed any light on the argument. I know we can all be narrow minded, but I TRY not to be, and wish everyone would. I just wish that everyone could have the right to make choices about their lives; but obviously, I wish this within reason. But, I do know that this is something that is a matter of opinion, and anything that involves religious belief is impossible to truly argue for or against, so, I assume that the discussion will always go on. I know I will not be able to change most opinions on choice or abortion (even though that would be great!), but I talk about it, in order to add a voice to those that advocate freedom and choice, in order to have someone speaking against those that will advocate religious-based controls and the stripping of personal rights for women. These aren’t meant as jabs, they just are what they are; different sides of an issue… in this case, the right to choose.

Other than these random things, I have really been enjoying some great music today. I finally made a new mix cd, and I am very happy with it. I am also going to be getting stuff ready for the music podcast that I want to start doing for the Georgia Podcast Network, which is something that is motivating me to check out new stuff. Sometimes it feels like pushing a rock up a hill to get anything at all done in my life; so I tend to cling to the things that come easy and motivate me (of which, there are very few). Perhaps these things will jump start the rest of it. I also thought about posting the mix (like for DL), but wonder if anyone would actually want it. If you do, let me know… and I might just tell you what’s on it!

mixed media, movie musings

two review tuesday

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So this weekend, I experienced two media phenomena that were too new and fresh not to review here on my blog. The result? You get a two review Tuesday! Woo hoo!

The first review today, is for the movie Children of Men. The premise of the movie, is a post apocalyptic future, in which Britain is the only country still standing; but not without consequence. In this future, all of the illegal and non-British citizens are being caged and hoarded in refugee camps, while life for everyone else is rough, mainly because of global fear of the end of humanity; as there haven’t been any new births worldwide for over 18 years. That fear and panic over the end of humanity leads to violence and chaos, including an increase of a government military presence, as well as the uprising of radical activist groups.

In the beginning of the movie, you start with the knowledge that baby Diego, the youngest person on the planet, has just been killed for refusing to sign an autograph. Saddened by his loss, the entire society is mourning, which leads to more violent outbursts by both activists and the government alike. Dealing with the harsh reality that he exists within this miserable and bleak world, Theo (Clive Owen), a former activist, continually struggles to get by in this daily routine, when he is contacted by his wife (Julianne Moore), who needs his assistance with her activist group. Her group needs his help getting a special person to something called the Human Project, a supposed safe haven for someone that is special like this woman. You quickly discover the reason this woman is special, it is because she is pregnant. They believe she may hold the key to saving humanity, and as a result, she is potentially the most important person in the world; and must be protected at all costs. The rest of the film is a wild roller coaster ride following Owen and the girl as they try to make their way out to sea, in order to meet a representative for the Human Project; who may or may not actually exist.

Let me start by saying that I was really not prepared for this movie. Mainly, because I wasn’t aware that many movies could be made in such a fashion that would have you so engaged that you would actually feel like you were watching a documentary instead of a fictional thriller. As you follow Owen on his protective mission, you see the most dire and horrid living conditions and witness actions by radicals and the government alike that make you thankful our society has not gotten as bad as this film shows us it could. The movie is violent, ultra-real, gripping, and very scary; mainly because what is portrayed is something that could potentially be our future if bad choices and violence escalate. It is a movie that should not be missed. This movie is like V for Vendetta, only with a much more volatile and violent society, and of course, the fear that comes with a lack of procreation fueling much of the violence. I highly recommend this movie, and as such, give it 5 our of 6 stars (). The only reason it doesn’t deserve the last star, is because I was a bit deflated by the ending; which I will not even hint about here. Go see it, you’ll be glad you did!! And the cinematography is crazy. Just crazy.

Now, the next peice of media I will review is a game for the Wii, specifically, Warioware Smooth Moves. While I admit I was probably a bit more excited about this game than I should have been (mainly because there haven’t been too many titles coming out lately that piqued my interest… or many at all for that matter), I was not so enthusiastic as to run out and buy it; although, I probably would have if Best Buy would have had it in stock on Friday (it was a moment of weakness combined with a balance on a gift card). Well, after renting the game on Sunday with some friends, I have to say that I am glad that I did NOT buy the game. While the game is definitely a lot of fun, the word randomness doesn’t even begin to describe the game play. There are highlights, like when they explain how to hold the Wii-mote for a mini-game (which is hilarious each and every time), but there are also low points, most of the games are over before you even figure out what you are doing. I didn’t have much time to go through all of the nuances of the game, so there may be parts of the game that I would enjoy, but simply do not know about. But, with that being said, the parts that we did get through proved that it was a very easy game to play, in fact, so easy, that we beat it a few hours after we rented it. Sure, it unlocked a few more gems, but overall, it was just more of the same. While it was fun to play with friends for a few hours, I definitely think I would lose interest in this game if I bought it, but it would definitely be fun to play a friend’s house, every now and then. Or, it would be fun just to rent it if I were bored, and friends were coming over. Overall, I would give it a 4 out of 6 stars (). Fun, random, but perhaps a little too random, and definitely not a game for those that are annoyed with rapid changes and ADHD fueled entertainment. Seriously, this one is all over the place. Also, and I know that this isn’t so much of a “good” or “bad” thing, but the game is definitely geared more towards children; but that doesn’t really take anything away from it.

civil rights, listen up!, politics

happy birthday, Roe v. Wade!

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Today is the anniversary of the monumental Roe v. Wade case, which, as all of you may know, effectively legalized abortion in the US. As I have said before, and will continue to say until there is no breath in my body, abortion should always be a fundamental right of every woman, everywhere. It is a pledge to women’s health, and should always be taken seriously. For those people that disagree with abortion, all I can say to you is, if you don’t like abortion, don’t have one. Avoiding the issue by not having one yourself is the best way you can protect yourself from the fact that all women deserve the right to control their own uterus, as well as the protection of having safe and sterile abortions from licensed doctors; as opposed to unsafe methods that many have to resort to when a safe abortion is not an option for them.

I for one hope this ruling is never challenged or overturned, because I believe that this is something that women deserve; the right to decide what happens to their own bodies and their own lives. I am in no way, nor have I ever been, advocating more abortions, or even suggesting that people go and have one; BUT, I AM advocating a woman’s right to choose, and I always will. Legalized abortion is not about “killing babies”, it is about having the RIGHT to choose what happens to your own body. And that, to me, is fundamental.

Finally, I feel the need to say it one more time for those of you that are blinded by the word “abortion”, make sure that you understand that legalized abortion is NOT ABOUT ABORTION; it is about the right to choose.

is it just me?, listen up!, venting

fuck comcASS (that’s right, the t is silent)

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After a month of me calling repeatedly to see why my “high speed” internet connection has been working at less than dial up speeds, I finally thought that today I would get resolution. I talked with the Comcast person on Thursday, and here’s what she said (keep in mind, this would be the 5th time I have heard the exact same thing):

It appears that there is a massive amount of packet loss when I ping your modem. There must be something wrong with the modem, because we don’t have any outages or problems in your area. I will be glad to send a technician out.

YAY! ANOTHER technician is coming! But, despite my negative sarcastic attitude, I was actually hoping that this one would actually come in and look at the problem. See, the last guy said he called me 3 times and even came by the house and knocked on the door, but I never answered either. Weird thing is, I was HOME when he “called”, and he never knocked on my door. I found out he was calling the wrong number (which I had corrected 3 times prior to that date, but then, we are dealing with lower level primates here, so I guess that was to be expected). So, you can see why I was less than excited about someone else coming out… I was essentially just hoping he would actually show.

Cut to today. I woke up early, and they called to let me know they guy would be here around 11:30 (they got the number right this time!). Sure enough, around 11:30, I greet the Comcast guy, and he comes in. I direct him to the office, and stand there as he gets to work. Instantly, he types in an address in IE (yuck), and proclaims, “there doesn’t seem to be a problem; everything is working just fine”. WOW! Really???! That must be why I have called so many times and have had so many people come out! Because there is NOTHING WRONG!! Thanks for coming by!! Good day sir!

Um, no.

So, I immediately tell him what they have told me on the phone, packet loss, yadda yadda, and so he reluctantly starts to tinker. Remember that his words were, “everything’s fine”, initially, because that will become important again later. While he tinkers, I actually feel a little more optimistic, so I leave the room. He tinkers some more. Then, I go in to see what is going on, and he assures me things are fine. He has run the numbers, etc, and everything is hunky dory. Um, no. I didn’t get you out here to tell me things are fine when I know they aren’t, douche. So I say, maybe something is wrong with the modem, considering that they say the modem is having such packet loss and whatnot. He then deflects that to the router, which I expected, and says that the router must be the issue. I assure him that it isn’t because even when you hook the computer directly to the modem, the same shit happens. Finally, after a bit of pushing, I get him to actually TRY a new modem! SHOCK! AWE! So he goes and gets it, and comes in to tinker some more.

The whole time he is doing this, he is walkie-talkieing with his boss on his NEX-TEL. Okay, now the new modem is hooked up (I watched him tinker this time), and guess what…. NO INTERNET AT ALL!!! It must be the router! So he hooks it up to my PC, and low and behold, he gets a “bad” IP address, and that means that the PC’s ethernet port must be fucked! Holy shit! Try the other one! Yep! That one gets a “good” IP address!!! It’s your PC dude!!! Um, no.

Then, being the complexly intelligent sage with a memory of steel, I remind him that when he arrived, THINGS WERE FINE (see, I told you it was important to remember that). He stumbles for a second, only to continually repeat that “bad” IP address routine. Um, no. That doesn’t work for me buddy, and so I say, “well, if it worked fine, per your words, when you arrived, how is the ethernet port on my computer all of a sudden the problem? Maybe that was something you did?” Well, perhaps that hit a button with him, because he started to argue with me at this point. I went from pissed to livid in like 2.5676 seconds, and laid into him. But I came to my senses quickly, because I was quickly shown he had NO IDEA what he was talking about. He kept bouncing back and forth from the router, to the ethernet connection, to the new modem (kind of like my connection, I suppose); but then hit me with the kicker… “sir, you are the one that asked for the new modem.”

Um, what? I did not! I told you it COULD be a problem with the modem, and that you SHOULD probably look at that before you just up and leave!!! He insisted that it was my fault, because apparently the new modem didn’t like my ethernet port. WTFever dude. I was so livid, that I told him it was pointless to argue with him, because he obviously had no idea what he was talking about, and that he was talking to me like I was stupid, so I told him to hook up the old modem and go. He then had to call and get permission to do that (what?!), and finally did that and left.

Now, not 20 minutes after he has gone, the internet doesn’t work through the router (at least, not when I hooked it back up after he left), AND, it is hooked directly into my PC (remember the one with the bad IP address, which kept it from doing internet), which I AM USING FOR INTERNET. Consequently enough, the “bad” IP address had something to do with starting with a 169, and right now, the IP address my PC is showing starts with 24. Again, not a clue what he was talking about.

Needless to say, I will be doing 3 things:
1) I will call Comcast one last time to let them know that their techs are rude, argumentative, and downright insulting. I will also use this call as an opportunity to tell them they can shove their “high” speed internet up their respective ass.
2) I will be calling Bellsouth DSL, and see how much it costs, and how quickly, they can have DSL in my house. I had DSL in the past, and I had no problems with the DSL itself, it was just the company I had it through that caused me problems. Since I won’t be with them, hopefully this will be a good solution.
3) (and this is probably the best one) I will be filing a claim with the Better Business Bureau against Comcast. I feel like there are too many people that experience the same problems that I have had with their internet for this to go unsaid. I am tired of a “solution” to a problem be “well, it’s your router, computer, ethernet, yadda yadda yadda”. NO. It isn’t, douche, fix it! Needless to say, I filed one on them before for shitty customer service, and they weren’t too happy. I doubt they will be this time either. If you have these same issues, I BEG you to please do the same. The more strikes against them, the better. Don’t steal my money and give me nothing but empty promises… or you will get filed against.

Whew. I know that this is a long entry, but I had to get it out. I have internet (albeit slow, dial up like internet), and am hoping that it lasts until I can get Bellsouth out here. Hope everyone else is having a great Saturday, and to detox from this horrid experience, I am going to see Children of Men with a friend. I have had enough “internet woes” for one day.

civil rights, is it just me?, mixed media, venting, well?

shows like 24, the portrayal of Islam, and what we do with that

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I just read an article on CNN.com that kind of had me a little confused, and well, frustrated. See, apparently, since the premiere of this season’s anti-terrorism, action-thriller show 24, Muslim groups are speaking out that they are worried that the portrayal of Islamic fundamentalists will somehow prevent Americans from distinguishing fiction from reality; and as a result, profile all Muslims as terrorists (leading to more violence and hatred towards Muslims, based on those beliefs).

While I do understand the concerns of Muslims, mainly because they were (and still remain) such a targeted and singled out group because of American beliefs about 9/11, I find frustration in their doubt that Americans can distinguish reality and fiction. I feel this frustration, mainly because on the show (for those that watched it), they went out of their way to show how the racial profiling of Muslim people was both defamatory, and inconsistent with where the actual blame for the attacks should be placed. They went so far as to highlight one person working with a type of Muslim consulate standing up to the FBI, and even getting arrested, when they came in to cease records; stating how unconstitutional and wrong it was (incidentally, she is the president’s sister).

My frustration from the protests of the show come from the simple fact that not only is it very obvious the show is fiction (I mean, who doesn’t need to pee or ingest any food or water in 24 hours… seriously), but they (the show that is) have gone (in my opinion) above and beyond to prove that this type of profiling and finger pointing is not only wrong, but defamatory and dangerous for innocent people; even though the terrorists they are fighting this season are Muslim. Again, the show made it a main point to say that this type of profiling and grouping of blame to people who look or believe a certain way is wrong and dangerous.

Now you see, part of my issue, is that my frustration runs deeper than that. It is true that my frustration, in this instance, comes initially from the fact that people still get scared that the actions and beliefs of one fundamentalist extreme group (albeit fictional) would still potentially be spread to all people of similar skin tone, ethnicity, or religious belief. But my frustration grows when I think that some people will actually believe that, and in this case, believe it from a obviously fictional TV show.

I am a person that always tries to look for the best in people, but living in a country that still touts Muslims as terrorists, it is really hard to see good in people that can believe something like that. Additionally, I understand where the Muslim groups that are protesting the show are coming from, but I find that I am also frustrated with them for thinking we are unable to distinguish fact from fiction; and again, I am even more frustrated with those that can’t realize that what happens on a TV show isn’t real.

I really worry that if we are still living in a society and a time where there are people that gain such impression from television and media that it leads to racial/ethnic profiling, defamation of religious groups, and inability to distinguish reality from fiction, well, then I am really afraid of this society. I am afraid of a society that has seemingly allowed itself to become two-sided; those that perpetuate stereotypes (be it real or invented), and those that fear being labeled as a stereotype. I know what it is like to be a member of a highly hated group, and I know what that fear feels like when you think you could be harmed simply because of who you are believed to be; but I would like to believe that there could be a time where we could all stop having to live in that fear. I would like to believe that there is a time when these issues will not plague our society, and we can all stop profiling, and being profiled.

And in this particular instance (and other instances where this is the case), I would truly like to believe that we are already at a point where fictitious television programs have no influence in our ability to delineate these divisions, and stop stereotyping and finger pointing. Because, if TV is really that dangerous, we, as a society, have a hell of a long way to go to stop fear and hate amongst ourselves. And that, is enough to frustrate just about anyone, you know?

What do you think? Do you think that the show really does blur the lines so much that people will be confused? Or do you think that the Muslim groups are being a little too timid about a fictional TV show? Or do you think that they have reason to fear, because people in our society really are that ignorant and potentially hateful? Do you think that it is reasonable to expect people to be able to watch TV and NOT carry their impressions of a show and turn them into hatred or fear? What do you think?

[as always, the picture isn’t mine, it came from the internets]

all about me

ouch! (tattoo talk)

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Last night, instead of making it to the monthly APWBWGTTD, I was laying on a table being repeatedly stabbed with needles. No, it wasn’t a massive dosing of heroin, I was getting tattooed, for what I hope to be, the last time (for a while). Russ beautifully colored in the turtle on my inner arm (OW!!!!!!!!), and let me be the first to say that getting tattooed on your inner arm FUCKING HURTS. Seriously, it is almost too much. He also added another little fish in a spot that seemed like it needed something, and to be honest, it totally changed the whole tattoo for me. It looks so much more cohesive and beautiful. My arm is insanely swollen and painful, but I will try to get some pictures up soon. I love tattoos, but I sure hate getting them.

During the session last night, Russ and I were talking about him starting a blog, which I think is pretty cool. People are seeing the potential for blogs to help them talk about things they want to discuss, as well as providing them with ways to continually provide fresh content for their websites. For him, he will be able to talk about tattoo things, and as someone who only got into tattooing seriously a year ago, it will definitely be something I would be interested in reading. There are so many things you don’t know about until you try them; and sometimes, you learn a lot more than you expected.

I can’t really think of much else right now because of the throbbing in my right arm, but I do know that I hope upon hope that it doesn’t freeze around here. I can’t handle the grocery store madness and the freaks on the road. Just let me get some beers, so I can go home and prop this arm up and rest!! Stay warm!