Tag: anhedonia

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thankful

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It has occurred to me that this year has been quite the tumultuous one, and while I remain extremely stressed most of the time, I have a lot to be thankful for.

James and I have been together 9 years and counting, and I couldn’t be happier. We keep talking about potentially having a child someday, so who knows, maybe we will be parents in the future?!

While we did lose my dear, sweet Sydney this year, which was the worst day of my life by far, we welcomed Charlie into our lives, and it has been quite an adventure. He is pretty good, but when is bad, he can be pretty bad. Poop and pee monster, for sure! Also, please stop chewing on everything in sight, little man!! I still miss Sydney each and every day, and some days are harder than others, but I am just thankful I was able to have a wonderful almost 8 years with him. I love you Sydney!!

We bought a house this year. It was an ironically called short sale, which took a stressful 4 months to complete. We have the house, we don’t have the house, we have the house, we don’t have the house… ACK! Overall, it worked out, and we rented our house to our friend and real estate agent, but it still doesn’t feel totally real at times. This is the house we always wanted, and getting it seems a little dream like, and I guess it is hard to process.

I have been working as a nurse for a year and half now, and I still find that I am not over nursing school. It was a terrible experience that really tore me down emotionally, physically, and my confidence is having a hard time bouncing back. I do feel like I am more proficient in my profession, and I do take a lot of joy home from my job, but there are days that are so intense and they don’t need to be. It just really wears on me at times. I was talking with a coworker recently when it really dawned on me; I have been through a LOT this year, as well as from the beginning of nursing school until now, so maybe a real vacation is in order in the near future.

Finally, I do have to say, that while my anhedonia is a large part of my lack of blogging and participating in my hobbies, I am somewhat content, and I am thankful for the wonderful things in my life. I have an amazing partner, wonderful dogs that love me, a great house that I am trying to realize is a wonderful home, and excellent friends that I get to spend time with. Overall, there is more to be thankful for that not, and that’s something worth noting.

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listless on monday… not I!

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Well, there seems to be so many thoughts going through my head right now, that I figure it’s time for a good old fashioned Monday list, dig?

Let’s do this!

  • I took my Anatomy lab final last week, and I have my last two finals this week. I can’t tell you how much I want to be done with Anatomy. Seriously, the level of detail in this class is RIDICULOUS, and if you have taken it, you know that there is no reason to take this class other than to fulfill a requirement. I think that is what pisses me off the most about it, is because they are not teaching it to you for you to learn it, they are teaching it to you in order to force you to think whether you really want to do whatever required this class. Seriously, you will never, I repeat NEVER need to know the level of detail that we covered this year in two classes. And if you do, chances are about 99% that your job title will be Anatomist, or Anatomy teacher. So yeah. I can’t wait until these finals are in the bag.
  • I am taking the summer off from classes. I recently came to the realization that I should focus on getting my RN, and then I can get my BSN through an online bridge once I start working as a nurse. This means that I will be applying for the Spring of ’09, which gives me the chance to take Micro in the fall, and still meet the requirements for admission. I really, really hope I can get in, because I want to keep this train moving!
  • There have been some great CDs coming out since the beginning of the year, but tomorrow marks two great releases; both of which are WAY overdue, and one that it is utterly brilliant. Tomorrow, there is a new Portishead CD coming out (the first in 10 years!!!), and after several listens, I can definitely tell you that it is a solid record. It grows on me with each listen. Also, FINALLY, Robyn‘s self titled fourth CD comes out here in the USA; even though it came out way back in 2005 overseas. However, I can guarantee you that I will use every bit of liberty in this new release date, and this CD WILL be on my top CDs of 2008 list, because I have wanted to include it for 2 years now, but couldn’t because it came out in 2005. I swore to myself that if it ever did drop in the US, that it would make this list, because this CD is brilliant (five stars, easy), and has definitely stood the test of time. It is an amazing pop record, and you owe it to yourself to pick it up tomorrow.
  • I have really (much more than I expected) been enjoying Mariah’s new CD as well. It is actually VERY well done. I know that it is supposed to be a continuation of the Emancipation of Mimi, but I definitely think that it surpasses her previous record by leaps and bounds. It is rare that I listen to a hip hop record and really like every song, and with this new release, Mariah may have made a record that does that for me. There are a few songs that I would make minor changes to, but overall, it’s pretty amazing. Good show Mariah! I didn’t see that one coming at all, but then again, that is the best when you get surprised by good music from unexpected places, now isn’t it?
  • Also speaking of music, this week I get to see the amazing Sara Bareilles in concert. I think that it goes without saying that I can’t wait for that!!!!
  • Other than school and music, I guess there isn’t TOO much going on with me. I have come down with a SERIOUS case of anhedonia lately, otherwise known as a case of FUCK IT, which couldn’t have worse timing (finals week!). Things have been up and down at the house, from unexpected water leaks, to having to install kick-proof guards on our doors because the neighbor’s house had the front door kicked in. I am just glad we did it BEFORE something happened at our place… it is much better to spend the $80 up front than have your house broken into (and I am not saying that it means we can’t get broken into, but this makes it almost impossible to kick the door in… I saw the video online… and that is the way they usually break in).
  • Anything else going on… hmm, not sure. If I think of anything, I will update as necessary. Until then, what is going on with you guys??
  • Finally, related to the aforementioned love for Mariah’s newest CD, I think that the following performance (video below), and her reaction during it, make me love her just that much more. As seen on chart rigger, Mariah’s back up singer sang over her during one part of the song (at 3:06), and Mimi bitchily reminded miss thang that she had better “stop singing her part now, baby”. Damn, that was ice cold!! I love it!!! Seriously though, if you don’t want to back up a diva like Mariah, and you think you should be in the lead, why not do it instead of working for her?? She is the diva, not you, so you need to get used to it. It just makes me love Mimi even more, and I glad that I got to see it. Get her Mimi! HAHAHAHAHA!