I feel like lately, I haven’t had anything to say that would be worth reading. More importantly, I feel like the things I would write aren’t things people want to hear about anyway. Negative, negative, negative; sometimes, life can just be that way. But should that be what I am blogging about? Do people want to hear that stuff??? What does blogging mean anyway? What does it mean to you?
For me, I started this blog because I wanted to share my thoughts with the internets. I still feel that way just as strongly today as I ever did, but what I am going through right now prevents me from being able to focus in the ways I did in the past. It prevents me from opening a can of whoop ass if I need to, and it prevents me from even thinking sometimes. Sometimes, it is all I have not to just sleep the day away. But is that really what I should be blogging about? I know that I am in essence doing that very thing right at this very second, but I guess that is as good a way as any to bring it up, right?
I love my blog. I brings me a lot of joy. I hope others like it too. But I worry that I don’t have the right stuff to keep it healthy and thriving, you know? I also feel like I have lost so much by going through this craptasticness, and even though I want to just be like “stop idiot! let’s get back into the light!”, for whatever reason, I ain’t moving. I guess one good thing about that, is that it shows that I am not going anywhere (with regards to this blog and all), and that eventually, I will begin to see the landscape around me again… I hope.
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