Tag: nervous

an update post (of sorts)

So things have been pretty quiet around here, and for that, I don’t even know what to say. I have kind of been in limbo since I finished school back in May, and after taking the NCLEX, I was happy that I was finally a RN, but honestly, all I could think was, “What next?”. Well, thankfully, I was able to recently interview for a job, and have since accepted a position to be a nurse at a hospital that I really like, and that is close to my house; two major pluses. People keep asking how happy I am, and honestly, I keep teetering between completely terrified, and somewhat excited; yet not much in between. The thought of actually BEING a nurse is a daunting one; one that I am sure will come with time working and experience (two things I desperate wish could happen faster than is possible, which I begrudgingly accept). In the mean time, I am just trying to get used to the idea. I completed orientation last week, and will start on the floor this week; again, very excited, and even more terrified/nervous.

Other than that, not much has been going on with me. Things are pretty good; money is tighter, but hopefully, that will remedy itself soon seeing as the job thing has come to fruition (thank goodness!). Life is pretty lazy, I guess, and that is a good thing, I guess, right?

On a final note, we did end up going to see Britney last night at Philips. Everyone who knows me, knows that I have a soft spot for the pop princess, and while I was glad I decided to go to the show, and really enjoyed it, I have to say, it might be my last Britney concert. At her best, she was clearly only giving about 60-70%, and it was pretty noticeable; especially considering how amazing her Circus concert was a couple of years ago. She looked tired for most of the show, and we even joked that we were at a Sit-ney Spears concert for the first half, because of how many times she just sat down on props, and parts of the stage. I know she’s gotten older, but I think it’s clearly time to switch things up a bit. If she’s not willing to (or cannot) go all out and dance like she used to, and kill it like she used to, then I think she needs a new, revamped act. I still love the girl, and yes, I know she just lip syncs (and no, it doesn’t bother me, so save it if that’s your only comment), but before, she would make up for it with sheer performance and theatrics. This time, there were some theatrics, and a few attempts a dancing, but most of it, she just seemed to want to smile, whip her hair, and prance around. While that’s cute, and I enjoyed it, it wasn’t her best, and if you have her previous stuff to compare it to, it’s just that much more clear, sadly. Either way, it was a fun concert, but it certainly wasn’t her best; and that’s coming from a die-hard fan. Oh well, I guess you can’t win ’em all.

when I grow up…

I had my meeting at GSU yesterday, and I got more than I was expecting; I got a huge dose of hope. I went into the meeting a little bit apprehensive, because going back to school seems like the biggest step in the whole world, but I am more confident now, that I am going to make it.

Turns out, they are going to count many of my undergrad classes towards the admission guidelines (YAY!), and, of the courses that I have to take that are prerequisites, I can take them online, or at a another school. This is great news, as I was hoping to be able to knock out those prerequisites quickly, and doing them online will give me the opportunity to do just that. Additionally, I don’t have very many of those courses to take before I can apply to the nursing program.

This has been something that has been a long time in the making, and instead of feeling overwhelmed as I walked across the GSU campus, I felt excited. I am truly invigorated that I am making small steps at improving my happiness, and improving my life. My goals don’t seem so far out of reach now, and I honestly feel like this is something that I can do. I feel like I will be able to take the steps that I need, and never look back. I need to now focus on starting the journey, and realize that the end will come; as long as I keep moving.

It is funny, sort of, that I was so worried about going back to school. See, while I hated undergrad (mostly because of the school I was at, and just the issues of being in the closet), and didn’t do too terribly well, grad school was an amazing experience. I learned so much, not only about the world, and how people and culture adapt and survive, but about myself as well. I learned that I can really do anything I put my mind to, and I have to start believing that again. I actually liked school when I was in grad school, so it is funny that a BSN program seemed such a far stretch; when chances are, even though it will be tough, and probably difficult at times, I am sure that I will enjoy it, and I know that I can do it.

They are definitely right when they say that going to school later in life usually makes for a better student; you just don’t look at things the same way, and you have matured to a place where you know how important the whole thing is. Also, you REALLY know how much those classes are costing, so you take them more seriously (at least, that was the case for me).

So, now that I have made this step to find out what I need to go to nursing school, what next? I have a list of the prerequisites that I must fulfill, and I am going to begin doing some searching for programs and schools that I can take them at. I also would like to look into as many different options for nursing schools as possible; especially online programs, because of their convenience. Any help from any of you is much appreciated (hint hint).

Wish me luck. In fact, continue wishing me luck for the long haul; I am going to need it. Perhaps, in a few years, I’ll get to be what I want to be when I grow up…