comments on movies I don't own
The 24th Day — All about what happens when a hook up goes wrong; that is, if the hook up was someone that you hooked with once before who thinks that you gave him HIV. Scary! Seriously, this could have been really good, but I guess due to low budget, it just wasn't.
28 Days Later — Now, I love zombie movies, but this one was just, well, bad. Cillian Murphy is hard to watch, and the movie is SOOOOO slow, that I felt the need to get out and help push it, if you know what I mean. There is nothing scary at all about it, and if you want to see “zombie action” I recommend pretty much anything else. I know it was independent, which is why it garnered more than one star, but seriously, I would skip this one. It isn't really worth watching.
The Adventures of Indiana Jones Boxed Set — (want) I absolutely love Indiana Jones. This is no joke. This would be an AWESOME present. Hint Hint.
A Home at the End of the World — This is the loving story of three people that try to make a family between them, or at least that is what I got from the descriptions of this movie. It has Colin in it, and I heard that they had to cut out a full frontal nude scene… darn… but it still has some gay subtext at least. Sidenote: What is going on with Colin's hair? I mean, damn.
Alice In Wonderland — (want) This is probably one of my favorite Disney movies, of which, I don't have many. It probably won't be around too long, so I will probably be snatching this one up sometime very soon.
Along Came Polly — I honestly thought I would hate this movie, but I actually ended up enjoying it. It was a little hokey at times, and sometimes Ben Stiller's brand of humor is more annoying than funny, but it was definitely fun and cute. Not much more than that, and honestly, I think the cuteness comes from Jennifer Aniston. My only question, is how can someone be that bumbling and clueless?
A Lot Like Love — This movie is an insane train wreck of a romantic comedy. It fails horribly and miserably. It is just a pieced together series of moments in two random people's lives who “happen” to be in love. Yeah right. It was just bad. And hard to watch because it was so choppy and incoherent.
American Beauty — (want) This movie is phenomenal. It is worth it just to see Annette Benning slapping herself. I absolutely love this movie. It has a shocking ending though. And it is pretty weird.
The Amityville Horror (2005) — (don't want) It is bad when all you have to say about a movie, is that the most redeeming quality is lots of scenes with Ryan Reynolds shirtless, and wet. Seriously, I was expecting a lot from this movie, and it was completely missing. It wasn't even convincing. Oh well, at least I got to see Ryan shirtless and wet, a lot. (Ahem, just so you know, that is the only reason I got that extra star).
Angels In America — (want) The HBO miniseries that has it all, politics, HIV messages, angels having sex with people… Hold that, what?? Okay, so this movie, based on a play, is all over the place. But it is incredibly profound and heartfelt. It gives you something that you can take away from the experience.
Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery — (want) Love Austin Powers, own it on tape, and want it on DVD.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me — (want) Ditto from IMOM.
Barbarella — (want) This movie is awesome. 70's at it's best. Jane Fonda is awesome. It is the best when she overpowers the Orgasm machine. Just think about that!
Beetlejuice — (want) Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!!! Ok, so that didn't summon him, but it was worth a shot. It would be interesting if this was really what happened when you die.
Bewitched — I was really hoping to be able to give this movie a much higher rating than this, because in the previews it looked great. I had everything, Nicole, Will, fun, laughs; but then in the movie, it just sort of falls flat. I think that they tried a little hard with the whole witch cast to play a witch in a show about a woman who is a witch married to a mortal type thing. I think that you start to notice that, when the parallels that were inevitable between Nicole Kidman's character and the character she plays on the sitcom begin to occur. I honestly feel a little cheated, because I think that this movie had tons of potential, and I do believe that when they were making it, they probably saw it, but for one reason or another, it was lost. Either way, it isn't a bad movie, bay any stretch, but it is one that reeks of disappointment, where greatness could have been.
Billy Elliot — (want) This is a wonderful little movie. The first time that I saw this I was bored, but then I saw it again several years later. That little boy, learning to dance, and then having his family and his gay best friend there to support him? Try not to cry, I dare you. If you don't, you are a soulless animal. (okay, maybe not an animal, but I am not taking back the soulless part).
Blade: Trinity — While the plot was pretty much one dimensional, and the characters were pretty shallow, there was a lot of great action in it, and it was about vampires. Oh, and Ryan Reynolds is insanely hot in this one… and shirtless a lot! Overall, it was pretty decent.
Bowling For Columbine — This is probably one of the the best documentaries I have ever seen. Every person in America should see this movie, and maybe, just maybe, they would learn that there are more important things in life than guns and violence. Also, it shows the American people something that they tend to miss… The real cost of freedom, and some of the things that actually go down concerning the government. Good form, Michael Moore!
Bram Stoker's Dracula — Yes. Love the vampire movies. This one is pretty cool too, cause Gary Oldman is CREEEEEEPY!
Bride and Prejudice — WORST. MOVIE. EVER. No seriously.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Stop laughing, because it was obviously good enough to get a show made after it, right? This movie really is nothing like the show, though, but it is really, really cheesy good. Also, love me some Kristy Swanson, where is she? Also, look out for Academy Award winner (I just love saying that) Hillary Swank… not so award winning in this one, but hey, still fun!
Capote — Based on acting chops alone; this movie wails! Phillip Seymour Hoffman BECAME Capote. It is insane that he nailed him that closely. When it comes to the story of the movie, it was actually kind of hard, because you could see Capote being so closely pulled into, and effected by, the story and the killers that he wrote “In Cold Blood” about. It is kind of sad, but understandable that it changed his life forever, and he was never able to write another book again. Definitely worth seeing, and it made me even want to read the book, “In Cold Blood”. My favorite part though, which shows Capote's flamboyancy, was when he was the sheriff's office in a small town in Kansas wearing this gayer than gay scarf, and the guy is all, “where did you get that scarf”, and Capote just flails his hand at it, and goes “Bergdorf's”. Love that.
The Cave — Cave diving, creepy creatures trying to kill you, yeah! Eddie Cibrian is pretty much the only thing that saves this movie from being a total flop. He is hot… and some of the story is actually interesting, if not weird, to watch. A little scary too.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) — Not only is this remake unnecessary, it is actually kind of ridiculous. I read Tim Burtonâ€™s pleas for people to not think of the older version of the movie, and to focus on the fact that this movie is made from the book, and is not a remake, but those comparisons are inevitable if you saw the previous movie; it is impossible to ignore. And with that being said, Tim Burton saw to change things that I would venture to guess, didnâ€™t need to be changed, and ended up making it a let down, rather than a different version. Johnny Depp is also a complete weirdo in this movie, and not in the good way, like Gene Wilder was in the previous version. There are several moments when he is very funny, but for the most part, he is just really strange. I pretty much think he is one of the weirdest people alive now. Overall, this version of the movie is full of bright colors and vivid CG, but lacks the oomph-a necessary to carry a wild ride like the book or the previous movie holds. I came away feeling like I had missed something, and with a story like this that has so much to give, that seems like the one thing that would not have happened; even though it did. Fans of the older version should just rent it instead. You would be happier and more fulfilled.
Citizen Ruth — Laura Dern as the paint huffing, pregnant woman, in the middle of a politically satirical battle between anti-abortionists and pro-choicers. Not for those that can't take a joke, or aren't liberal.
Contact — (want) Jodie Foster goodness. What if this really happened? I love this scifi stuff. Anything that deals with the possibility of extra-terrestrial life is pretty cool, huh?
Cruel Intentions — I used to own this on video, and I do like this movie, but it is near the bottom of my list. There are so many fine young actors in it. Also, how often do you get to see Sarah Michelle be such a slutty bitch all the time? That is worth it, alone. Selma Blair is awesome in this one too.
D.E.B.S. — Crime fighters. In training. Fighting a villain. Who's a lesbian!? Yeah, it is kind of like Charlie's Angels, only with lesbian love… and it is a hugely campy movie, but it is cute and enjoyable.
Dead Man On Campus — (want) I know what you must be thinking, but stop it, this movie is hilarious. I love it. I actually have it on VHS. It may be time to make the switch soon. Seriously folks, this movie is really, really funny. Give it a chance!
Dear Frankie — This movie is all about a mother trying to give her son hope by writing him letters from his unknown father, but it backfires when her son makes a bet at school, and she has to produce a father that doesn't really exist. Due to the awesome friend she has, and that friend's brother, they are able to appease Frankie. But, Frankie knows the deal, which makes it even sweeter. I loved this movie, and it was very emotional and moving at times. Very well made.
Defending Your Life — Interesting view of the “inbetween” or purgatory, whatever it is meant to represent. I would love to go to a place where you can eat as much as you want for free and never get fat though. That would be fun. Well, only as long as you weren't on trial or anything.
007: Die Another Day — My first James Bond movie. I am really into this spy/espionage game. It was a bit cheesy and action/gadget oriented at times, but it was all together enjoyable!
Dogma — Kevin Smith at his best. I do have to admit that the first time that I saw this, I was a little offended, since it is all about hypocrisy in religion. But once you look at it from a different perspective (which is the perspective that Kevin Smith was going for) it is very clever
Down To You — Cute movie here… but kind of disheartening at points. Do things always have to go through a rocky point? I don't always think that is true, but I guess that this is a more realistic look at love and relationships sometimes.
Dracula 2000 — Vampire movies are a +…and Johnny Lee Miller is in this one… YAY!
Drop Dead Fred — (want) Love this movie. LOVE THIS MOVIE. Phoebe Cates rocks. Where the hell is she? Well, we cannot get into that, but this movie absolutely rocks. Did you know that before this movie came out on DVD, there was a petition to get it on DVD? It is that good, I tell you!
The Dukes of Hazzard — I am not joking when I say that this is absolutely one of the worst movies ever. I can't believe I watched the whole thing. It is a remake of the show of the same name, and it does not at all do the show justice. The show had a fun vibe to it, and a feeling that doing something naughty, as long as it was for the right reasons, was cool. This movie was painfully, obviously made in order to simply ride the “remake” wagon, and goes forth without a plot or story to carry it. It is almost like they just pulled the character's names out, gave them new actors, and then painted a car orange so they could ride around in. That is about all this movie has in common with the show. Did I mention that this movie is horrible? I actually feel sorry for everyone in it.
Eating Out — Is it sad when one of the only redeeming qualities of a movie is the full frontal nudity of the hottest guy in the film? No? Okay then, this is the movie for you. This movie is about a straight guy (Caleb, the hot one), who plays gay to get a girl… stupid concept? Yep. Filled with weird sex stuff? Yep. Either way, Caleb is really HOT and nice to watch. The movie is a little slow, the once you see the full frontal, rewind, and play it again, you won't worry about that any more.
Election — (want) Fantastic. Fill me up Mr M. That is right, I went there. Reese Witherspoon strikes again! She is so clever in this very well written movie, as the girl that everyone wants to hate but never does, cause she is so cute. Well, except Mr McAllister, of course!
Elizabeth — (want) The story of Queen Elizabeth I. Cate Blanchett gives a stunning portrayal as one very influential leader. Wonderfully acted and a great story. Really, the only thing holding me back here is the fact that I have this on VHS. I know, I know, what is VHS, right?
Emma — While I was watching, all I kept doing was picturing the matched up scenes from Clueless. Now, this movie wasn't bad, but it was kind of slow, and it was really quiet, too. I absolutely love Gwyneth, so I have to say I really liked it. It didn't deliver the humor quite as well as I would have expected from Jane Austen, but it was pretty decent.
Equilibrium — I saw this on Showtime, and it was a pretty cool premise. It was also very strange. But, did I mention that it also has Christian Bale in it? I really enjoy me some Christian Bale. Yes.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose — Now, this movie wasn't necessarily bad, it just wasn't that good either. Let me explain: it is almost like they tried to hard with the story, which is supposed to be based on a true story. I felt that they made it too “horror” flick, when the movie actually focuses on the trial of the priest that did the exorcism. I thought that the idea was a good one, but it lacked the power in its execution, that was necessary for you to really get the true effect. I did, however, like the way that they would show the events as having both supernatural and medical causes. That honestly made it freakier. It will definitely send chills down your spine, and probably will make you a little weary if you wake up at 3am smelling smoke. I hope that doesn't happen to me!!! YIKES!
Eyes of Tammy Faye — Oh yeah, I went there. Seriously, I saw this a few years ago, and it was simply awesome. I never knew that this woman was so inspirational and motivating. She has made a big fight for gay rights (yup, her son is gay), and I want to thank her for it. WE LOVE YOU TAMMY FAYE!!! (plus, it is narrated by RuPaul!)
Felicity Season Two — (want) I am just waiting till I finish season one. Felicity is one of my all time favorite shows. This is the year where she cuts off her hair, and everyone got all upset. I love her with any kind of hair! Love you Felicity!
Felicity Season Three — (want) Gift Idea!!! Seriously, love this show.
Felicity Season Four — (want) By far, this was the “weirdest” season, but great. The main reason the end of the season was so strange, is because they were told they were cancelled, and then not, so they had to tack on something interesting at the end. What they chose was great. I love this show. I want the whole collection, and I will have my way, one day. Yes, yes I will.
The Final Cut — Definitely an interesting premise; a chip installed at birth tapes your whole life, and someone edits it to show your family when you die. The editors can't have these chips, but it turns out one of them does, and action and intrigue ensue. Good up until the end; it is slightly anticlimactic.
Freaky Friday — Okay, before you say ANYTHING… listen up. This movie was SO good. That is right, I said SO GOOD. When I heard about this movie coming out, I was seriously like… NO WAY will I be seeing that. For real. But, I recently went to see Mean Girls, and Lindsay Lohan is awesome. So, I thought I would give this one a shot, based on good old Linds, and she doesn't disappoint. Jamie Lee Curtis is awesome acting as a 15 year old too. Great fun in this movie. Lots of laughs.
Friday — Chris Tucker is the main reason why this movie is so funny. This movie is all about just trying to make it through a Friday. It unfortunately spawned several sequels though. I cannot vouch for any of them.
Friday Night Lights — (want) It is interesting that this movie could get such a high rating, since I didn't have ANY desire to see this when it came out in the theatre, and no desire to rent it, either. But boy, was I wrong. I saw this movie on a trip down to Puerto Rico, and it was marvelous. It was gritty, emotional, heart wrenching, and simply wonderful. You really get into the lives of the people that are on this team, and that live in that town. You feel their emotion as everything is riding on the big game. Wow. I highly recommend this movie, even for those, like me, that couldn't see any interest, simply because it is a football movie. It is much, much more than that.
Fried Green Tomatoes — (want) You will laugh, you will cry. But mostly you will love this movie. I know that I do. Kathy Bates is so wonderful in this movie. Jessica Tandy as the little old lesbian. LOVE IT!
From Justin To Kelly — All I really have to say here is: don't judge me. You know you watched it too, and at least a small part of you liked it.
Garfield and Friends Volume 1 — I absolutely love this lasagna-loving fat cat! Always have, and always will.
Gay Weddings Season One — (want) I love this show! I cannot wait for my wedding someday)!
Get Real — (want) It's all about a boy, who is gay, and finds out that the hottest, most popular jock in his school is gay too. And they have a little “thing” going on for a little while. That is awesome. Totally awesome. And there is a great fag-hag in this movie. I love her.
Gia — This is pretty much a wonderful movie, although, it is very emotional, very trying, and very hard to watch at times. Angelina Jolie is phenomenal in it, though. This is just a great movie to own, especially if you want to get all emotional.
Girls Just Want To Have Fun — Helen Hunt and Sarah Jessica Parker rock. This movie is so wonderful. It made me want to by on DTV. I am telling you that I seriously learned gymnastics partly because I wanted to do what they do in this movie. Escape the house, and make it to the dance. This movie is campy great!
The Golden Girls All the seasons — Thank you for being a friend, travelled down the road and back again. Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant. Yeah, I went there. Who doesn't love the Golden Girls??
The Grudge — While this movie did manage to scare me pretty badly, and made me scream several times, I have to say that the ending really shot all that fright to hell. I am not going to tell you what it is, but I have to say that the hokiness of the whole thing wears thin by the end, and you may catch yourself laughing a little bit. With that being said, I have the chills as I type this cause of the little kid. CREEPY!!! Not a movie I want to watch very often; i.e. scary!!
Herbie: Fully Loaded — Now, I know what you are thinking, and, believe it or not, you are right; I gave this movie five stars out of a possible six. This movie is everything you would expect: hokey, silly, downright sappy; but… it works. Now, those of you that know me, are probably thinking that this may also have something to do with my love for Ms. Lohan, and you are probably right, but seriously, give this movie a chance; the worst thing it will do is make you smile. At first I thought that Herbie was dorky, silly, and child's play. I still do. But it was fun, cute, and interesting to watch. Seriously!
Honey — I agree with Missy Elliot's line in the movie, “Katrina, who is Katrina; get me Honey. I want Honey Daniels.” I thought that this movie was going to be completely stupid; and while it was very predictable, it was actually quite enjoyable to watch! Jessica Alba is about the cutest thing ever, but I must say that I really wonder why they tried so hard to “make her black” in the movie. To me, it came across as they were trying to hard with that, or whatever. What I really love about this movie, is that you can tell that it is really her doing a lot of the dancing; which I give a big thumbs up to. If you want a feel good movie where the kids are the priority, and everything works out for the best, this is the movie for you. Expect some fun hip hop, and great dancing to come along with it.
Hope Floats — This is a really good movie that I had to watch a couple of times to get into. It is pretty slow, but is really sweet. Sandra Bullock really gets crapped on a lot in this movie (Jenny Jones style in the beginning) but manages to let the “hope float” up to the top by the end. Good for you Sandra!
Hostage — Kind of a predictable story line, in which a hostage negotiator is manipulated into taking control over a situation, where the leverage is his family. I think that they could have done a little more with this film, but over all it was a decent movie to watch, and had enough action in it to make it fun. Bruce looks great, as always.
Howl's Moving Castle — Um… okay! Basically, if you are familiar with Miyazaki's style of anime, and the strange stories that come along with it, you will be definitely happy with this film. It follows Howl, a wizard who is pretty much an outcast, who doesn't seek to serve the Emperor. A woman named Sophie, who is transformed into an old woman by the Witch of the Waste (best name EVER), may be his only hope, to save him from turning into a demon. It is pretty cool, but definitely VERY weird.
House of Wax (2005) — I have to admit, I, just like many others, was drawn to this movie because of the heiress herself, Paris Hilton, is in it. With that being said, no one can expect a horror movie about people that cover trespassers in wax to be good. The only thing it was good for, was a little scare every now and then. I have to say though, the whole “house of wax” thing was pretty cool, and I can't even imagine how that ending happened. Don't you just love that I did that… Anyway, if you want a good scream or two, watch this, it isn't that bad.
Hulk — Here's a movie where they had a great concept, and a pretty good story, and then instead of making that, they flushed it down the toilet and made this. I actually had high hopes for the Hulk, because of the fact that I love comic movies, and this should be no exception; but it was. Big time. It was just executed very strangely, and there was not that much action in it. I felt they went in a direction that was unnecessary and unwelcome. There are also moments in the movie where the acting is so bad that I laughed out loud. And that is a damn shame. If you want a good comic movie, don't rent this one.
Ice Men — I honestly don't know why I am surprised; most gay movies are crappy. But, this one looked like it had something different going for it, and honestly the story was almost there, but it feels (for the whole movie) as if we picked up in the middle of a story, and then abandon it before it has time to work itself out. Some of the actors are really hot though… at least gay movies usually have that going for them, too bad, that is usually all. In this case, there was a little more, but not much.
In Good Company — I am a sucker for a good romantic comedy, and this one has Dennis Quaid AND Topher Grace. Score!
The Interpreter — Not only did this movie seem to make light of genocide, I felt that it was just too lame to work. First of all, if Nicole Kidmanâ€™s character were to actually try and work at the UN, even as an interpreter, there would be a pretty extensive background check on her. Anything, and everything that she would have done would have come up, and it wouldnâ€™t be a â€œsurpriseâ€, like it is in this movie. Other than that, I really donâ€™t think that sweet Nicole is believable in this role. I think she is phenomenal actor, but this was a script she should have just passed on. It wasnâ€™t her. And Sean Penn, was well, Sean Penn. Whatever. In summation, the movie isnâ€™t bad, but it isnâ€™t too good either.
The Jackal — Action thriller with covert operations happening and fast paced undercover ops. This movie is a great spy killer-thriller. And it has Richard Gere and Bruce Willis. Nice.
Jeepers Creepers 1 or 2 — (do not want) These movies are combined into one entry because it should be known that they are both completely horrible, and should never be watched by anyone, ever. If you just want some mindless scary movie, this is for you, but keep this in mind: it is completely devoid of real substance or actual plot. Bad.
Jersey Girl — You can totally tell this was directed by Kevin Smith; because it was well written. The only thing that makes this movie fall short, is well, Ben Affleck's portrayal of his character. It just isn't 100% believable. Also, it is a bit to altruistic, and a little less realistic than it should have been. Sometimes, you can get the job and be happy, it doesn't have to be one person's happiness OR the others; you can find a happy medium! But otherwise, very sweet!
Junebug — Man falls for art gallery owner. She discovers artist near his hometown. They go back to buy his art, and in the process, get to meet the 'rents. Since it was in North Carolina, I definitely saw a bunch of my own family in the film, and it is an interesting look at how different people can be when they are back where they started from. Plus, the male leads are smoking hot. Amy Adams even got nominated for her freaky character… she was good, but not that good.
Jurassic Park — I don't know what kept this off of my wishlist, this is actually a pretty good movie. I remember going to see this movie with my dad when I was in high school. It was very well done, and I love the dinosaurs (who doesn't?)!
Just Friends — Not really anything special, but it does have some man candy in Ryan Reynolds. He is officially Hollywood's bitch, but he is a hot bitch! Fat guy gains confidence when he loses the weight, only to go back home and be humiliated by everyone, including his high school crush/best friend. It is an either way for me.
Keen Eddie (complete series) — (want) Mark Valley is hot. Keen Eddie is the show all about a cop in England. And Mark Valley is hot. Plus the dog is really cute. Gotta have this show.
Kicking and Screaming (2005) — Normally Will Ferrell is one of the funniest men alive, but he kind of tries to hard in this one. Don't get me wrong, this movie definitely has lots of hilarity, but it just lacks that extra umpf that Ferrell usually delivers. I guess I shouldn't blame him, since he didn't write (I think), but hey, it was definitely fun to watch, and may want to rent it again some day. Oh yeah, and it is about coaching a kids soccer team.
Kinsey — The story of the scientist that defied tradition, and sought to analyze and understand sex: for the betterment of everyone. This movie captures the life of Kinsey, and shows his struggle to come to terms with his own sexual nature, and the effect it had on everyone around him. It does portray the drama that his work caused, and the ripple is sent out from him, that not only effected his immediate family, but the world. If you ever wanted to know more about Kinsey, and what the Kinsey scale represented, then this movie will be one that you will enjoy. Also, Peter Sarsgaard does a full frontal scene. Nice.
Ladder 49 — (do not want) I saw this movie on a plan coming back from San Juan, Puerto Rico, and even though I did watch the entire movie, I honestly did not like it. The movie works as a flash back, showing scenes from the main character's life, as he lays dieing in a fire-ridden building. It doesn't take an emotional person to think that this is pretty much a big downer. The movie is very slow, and honestly, almost unnecessary. I like the idea I believe they had when making this: trying to honor the work that brave firemen do everyday. That is not what happened here, not at all. And when you are through with this movie, you will know why.
Land of the Dead (George A Romero's) — I really had high hopes for this movie, after all, it is a zombie movie, but really, this movie is crap. It took 45 minutes of the 1 and a half hour movie, just to set up the story (that in my book is a little too long), and then when the story finally “gets going”, you realize it is a crappy story, and that you already know everything that is going to happen anyway. The whole premise, as put forth by the previews (so no spoilers here kids!), is that the zombies learn to think, and that the people in the city are screwed!!! Well, needless to say, but that doesn't really deliver like it should have. Also, for a “horror” movie, this one is NOT scary in any way. There were like 2 predicable “jump out” scenes, and the rest was pretty much centered on the gore and eating of human body parts. They really spent a lot of time coming up with clever ways to eat people. And I really don' t think that is enough to carry the movie. If you want to see a kick ass zombie movie, you may do better with Dawn of the Dead, I can at least vouch for the remake.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen — I read a bunch of really bad reviews about this movie, and generally steered clear of it until we signed up for Netflix; and well, I kind of feel a little bit robbed. Perhaps I will stop trusting reviews so implicitly, because this movie was filled with action and special effects, and was actually kind of fun. I am not saying that it was a literary masterpiece that transcends the page and screen, but it was a decent watch. It does border on a little bit too much, though, because there are so many characters, you really donâ€™t get the feeling that you know any of them very well by the time the movie has ended.
Little Man Tate — Love this movie. I was in Odyssey Of The Mind when I was a kid, and it really is interesting. And could they have picked a cuter kid? (the answer there is no).
Locked Up — I am not kidding when I say that the ONLY reason this movie got 2 stars, is because of the fact that it is borderline porn. It is all about a guy that ends up in prison and falls in love with one of the other cell mates. I didn't think that they could show masturbation so explicitly without it being porn, but I guess they can. Anyway, if you are looking for a good story, look elsewhere, it pretty much sucks. Also, there is a moment in the movie where one of the guys takes off his shirt and throws it aside, only to, that's right, HIT THE CAMERA, and make it noticeably move. Great work. Either way, if you want to see the hot guy naked a lot, check it out. If not… keep moving!
Little Women — Christian Bale! YAY! Also, this story is so awesome, based on the book, you know. There are points when you will laugh, you will definitely cry. If you don't cry you are soulless. This is just a feel good story, with an all star cast.
The Machinist — Knowing that Christian Bale lost like 63 (!!) lbs to play this part, it really makes it hard for me to slam this movie; but I can. This movie was so slow moving that it really loses the viewer early on, and the effect is a lack of consideration for Reznik's character story. This is like Memento without the good delivery. The character is suffering from intense insomnia, and living an existence that is fueled by paranoia. Once you reach the climax, and the subsequent end of the film, your big aha moment is coupled with a feeling of being robbed; because they really could have handled the approach a little more smoothly than it was portrayed in this film. I had high hopes for this movie, and while the story and final “end game” are spot on, the delivery is flat and lackluster, which makes you forget the aforementioned good points. Sorry you had to lose all that weight for such a dud Christian; but you do deserve and award for being the most dedicated actor out there.
March of the Pengiuns — Exquisite and beautiful to watch; but it makes you wonder how there are any pengiuns at all, with all they have to do to just reproduce!
Margaret Cho: Assassin — Margaret, Margaret, Margaret. First, I want to start by showing my love for you. You are awesome. You are so funny, that I donâ€™t even think you know how funny you are. But recently, at least for your past two movies (Revolution and this one) you have taken a turn, and made some decisions that I am none too happy about. First of all, you have begun preaching a little bit. And, while I appreciate everything that you are doing for gay rights and whoeverâ€™s rights, we are on the same side, and during a comedy show, we just want to laugh, not be reminded about how we canâ€™t get married and how evil the president is. Make fun of him or something, but drop the preaching lessonsâ€¦ we are the choir, and we are singing your praises. Second, and not to sound clichÃ©, but your mother impersonations are lacking lately. We donâ€™t see much of that, and honestly, it is some of the hands down funniest stuff you do! Which leads me to my third thing, when you started out, you would make jokes about your sexual proclivities, activities, and everything in between; you would joke about your vagina and your period and whatever else too. And you know whatâ€¦ it was funny then, it would be funny now, bring more of that back, and leave out the preachy-ness. With all of that being said, I will continue to love you, and soak up everything you have to offer, so this is in no way a farewell; it is a plea to make our relationship more fruitful and lucrative; for both of us!
Memoirs of a Geisha — While I do admit that this movie was stunning and beautiful, it wasn't very moving or poignant. It really had nothing to say, other than having to be kind of a whore sucks. I thought it was good that things worked out though.
The Merchant of Venice — Perhaps I wasn't in the mood, but I just found this movie had too much going on. It is the Shakespeare play of the same name, and focuses on a Merchant that borrows out money to the man, and how the tables are turned on him when he must produce a pound of flesh that he had originally required from his client. It is all about corruption and greed, and the human condition; and while it was good, being that it was in “Shakespearean”, it was a little hard to follow the night I watched it. Otherwise, it was good!
Monsters, Inc. — I thought it would be a stupid kid's movie, and I ended up loving it. Those pixar folks get me every time!
My Best Friend's Wedding — The three reasons I want this movie: Cameron Diaz is awesome in it, I love Julia Roberts in it, and most importantly, Rupert Everett leads a sing along of “say a little prayer for you”.
My Fair Lady — Fantastic. Trying to teach Ms. Eliza Dolittle how to be a lady, and succeeding. Was that the only plan? I think not! Musicals are fun, aren't they?
My So Called Life Boxed Set — (want) I love you Jordan Catalano! We all do Angela, we all do. This show is the best show MTV ever had a hand in, period. It is all about teenage angst, and it captured the life of a typical teen trying to fit in VERY well. And of course, we all love (and give props) to openly-gay-high-school-goer Ricky. We love you too, Ricky. We do.
Mysterious Skin — Very serious movie about a boy who was molested, who goes on to become a hustler. Very surprising performance by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the sweet kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun. It is almost hard to talk about, due to the sensitive subject matter, but it was definitely chilling, and real. It would have more stars if it weren't so difficult to watch, but it is definitely something most people should see.
Nico and Dani — This is the coming of age story of two young boys, Nico, who seemingly is only trying to get laid, and Dani, who is interested in getting laid, by Nico. I would really love to give this movie a full six stars, but the fact that it is Spanish, and has subtitles, makes me pull back a little on the rating. But don't let that stop you from watching it. It is very well written, and masterfully captures the innocence of youth, and the journey to discover oneself, through a summer rendezvous between friends. The two share everything, including a masturbatory ritual called “krampack”, which leads to more feelings and actions, due to their maturity in that summer. This movie is such a good story of two friends, who grow together and apart, but manage to maintain the level of love for one another that binds two people together as lifelong friends. This is a story that should not be missed.
North Country — The amazing true story of a woman who worked in the mines, who stood up and refused to endure sexual harassment ever again. The acting is superb, and it is, at practically every moment, hard to watch these women be treated so badly. It honestly made me angry that men are like that, and that people can be so hateful. Hey, at least she won her case, and made money off of the movie, right? Definitely worth seeing.
The Object Of My Affection — (want) Paul Rudd is adorable in this movie. This is kind of a sad one, but only a little. Still has a happy ending. I loved this movie. Interesting how women sometimes fall for the gay guy, whether they mean to or not.
Ocean's Eleven — I didn't even want to see this, but one night, I watched it with some friends on HBO. This was another one of those “heist” movies, and I didn't even know it. This movie is actually really good! It doesn't hurt that it is a remake of an old Rat Pack classic either.
Ocean's Twelve — (don't want) The first one was actually decent. But just that… decent. I wasn't moved, I wasn't running out to get the DVD, but I rented this anyway. Just because James wanted to see it. I am a nice guy. Seriously nice. Because this movie was not good. That's right, it was like taking the first one, Entrapment, and the Italian Job into a blender, and then straining out the good parts. All this movie had going for it was the cast… which, by the way, is why I gave it an extra star, because it was filled with so many (see how this works?). But seriously, if you want to see a movie that tries really hard, this is the one for you, but if you want to see good ones, check out the other two I mentioned, and if desperate, then go for the first one. At least it is much better than this one. I mean come on… they have Julia Roberts impersonate Julia Roberts. That is NOT funny.
Office Space — (want) Damn, I wanna be a gangsta. And let's not forget about the stapler guy. This movie kind of has a cult feel to it, but it is really, really funny. There is a guy whose name is Michael Bolton. There is an entire scene where they take out their frustration on the company's fax machine. Gold.
Old School — Whoa, this movie killed me. It is so freaking out of control. Will Farrell is the star here. When he shoots himself in the neck with the tranquilizer, I lost it. Completely lost it.
Open Water — This is the true story of two people that went diving in the open ocean, and were left by their tour boat. While, the concept, and the fact that it is based on true events, are intensely horrifying, the movie doesn't fully deliver. It is touted as being “Blair Witch” like, and while that is a good analogy, it doesn't speak well about the quality of the movie. For an independent film, it was decent, and considering that all of the sharks are really right there next to those two actors, it is pretty amazing. I guess this movie is like one of those situations you never want to end up in, and watching it play out can be a little hard to take in.
Outbreak — I saw this recently on TV, and it made me wish that I had the DVD. I really wanted to be a disease investigator/containment officer after seeing this movie. I was hoping that I would have a role at CDC much like they do in the movie. Maybe someday!
Panic Room — I am sure that I am not the only one when I say, “why didn't she go and get that cell phone sooner?”… and of course it doesn't work in that room, typical!
Paris is Burning — A flawless documentary about the ball scene in New York in the late eighties. This is pretty much where Madonna got the idea for Vogue, and this is pretty much where every queen can see how it is done! You better read that bitch, now! Seriously, this documentary is amazing.
Penn and Teller: Bullshit! — This is a wonderful show, that comes on Showtime. It has a lot of the feel that Bowling For Columbine does, and is executed quite nicely.
The Phantom Of The Opera — You may think that this makes me a total queen, and maybe you are right, but I WAS really excited about this movie; and then I saw it. It is just a straightforward (ha!) adaptation of the musical onto the big screen. But, the thing is… the Phantom of the Opera is pretty weird. Yeah, so umm… yeah.
Pleasantville — The thought of going to a TV land where there was no color and no “life” would drive me nuts. I totally love how Reese Witherspoon turns the town onto sex and increases their knowledge of reality.
Practical Magic — Put the lime in the coconut. For some reason, I really like the whole magic, mysterious thing. This movie is a lot of fun, I tell you. Sandra Bullock is as cute as ever. And Nicky Kidman… watch out!
The Princess Bride — Ok, I have to admit, that this movie is a guilty pleasure. It isn't my favorite, but I know other people that would benefit from me owning it. You know who you are, Emengo Mentoyez.
Pulp Fiction — (want) It came out when I was in high school. My Latin teacher insisted that we all go and see this movie, in order for us to witness how true movie genius was made. Completely right. “Three tomatoes are walking down the street, Mama Tomato, Daddy Tomato, and Baby Tomato. The Baby Tomato starts lagging behind and the Father Tomato goes back and squishes him. What does he say? Ketchup”. Don't be such a square, Daddy-O.
Queen of the Damned — Aaliyah is awesome. I would be a vampire with her any day. Love the vampires.
Queer as Folk Season Two, Three, Four, Five — (want) Just feel like I need this, don't know why. I have the first season, and I saw all of the second season. I just love the show, really.
Reign Of Fire — Another Christian Bale movie. This movie is all about killing the dragons that have been unleashed on the world. Interesting concept. Plus Matthew McConaughey is a damn freak in this one. A damn freak.
Return To Oz — (want) This movie is really fun, but really weird. In the description I read about this movie on one site, they said that it had “images that would be frightening to small children”. That is worth my attention! I have also seen it, and since I really do love the whole Oz thing, it is right up my alley.
Romeo Must Die — Ok, I do want to admit that the MAIN reason why I want this movie is because Aaliyah is in it. She is actually a really great actor in it, even though the movie is a mindless action thriller. Steven Segal ain't got nothing on Baby Girl!
Run Lola Run — A very artful film, and Franka Potente is awesome. This story is all about what would happen if something very minor were to change on your journey. This movie shows three different scenarios that happen to Lola as she runs to her boyfriend. Run Lola, Run.
Saved — Mandy Moore is a nasty bitch in this movie, and it is all about a Christian private school. This is a must see people! “I am filled with Christ's love!!! throws Bible“
Saw — (do not want) I found everything about this movie completely horrible. Horrible. It was a scary movie, and that is fine, but this movie was just bad. And don't laugh, but I was up most of the night scared. I couldn't help it. Yuck.
Saw II — (do not want) While I am not at all a fan of this movie, I do think it was 1000 times more interesting and freaky than the first. Similar plot though; Jigsaw captures and punishes people that have done either him or society wrong. But… there's a twist, which is kind of interesting, and will definitely keep the series of these movies going.
Secretary — Now, a lot of people loved this movie, and while I did like it, I just didn't see what they did apparently. It is about a BDSM relationship a cutter develops with her boss. It is very interesting to get a glimpse a culture that I am unfamiliar with, but it just showed us enough to leave me with questions. The performances are great though, and I love Maggie Gyllenhaal!
The Shipping News — Honestly, it was good, but just not that good. It was just a lot going on, and kind of weird to be honest. Not much else to say!
Shrek — First time I saw this, I thought it was okay. Now I think that it is great! This DVD is worth getting for the extras' Shrek's Karaoke Party alone.
Sky High — I know what you are thinking, and well, you are kind of right. Yes this is a kind of cheesy Disney movie geared towards kids, containing “messages” and other tidbits that focus on family and “doing the right thing”. All of that is wrapped in a super hero movie; which was reason enough for me to check it out. The kid that plays the main character role, Will Stronghold, has super hero parents, but no super powers himself. He has to learn what it is like to be a sidekick, and how people view you differently, including your parents, when it comes to being different. I thought that there were several great moments that made you feel all warm and fuzzy, and even more where you actually laughed at the humor in the situation. Many of the “Kids in the Hall” actors are in this one, and I believe they had a large part of that humorous writing. Overall, the special effects, and super hero stuff is kind of fun, but a bit hokey at times, and while the movie is a bit predictable, it is a decent amount of fun. And, in a few more years, Michael Angarano, the kid that plays Will Stronghold, is going be one really, really cute guy. In a couple of years…
So I Married An Axe Murderer — You know, someone that is so evil that they are eveeel, like the fru-its of the dea-vil. This is a must have, so funny, so lovely. Mike Myers is a gem.
A Sound of Thunder — While the story is a little hokey (butterfly killed on mission to the past disrupts space time continuum), I thought that the premise was pretty interesting and actually well executed. Um, Edward Burns is SMOKING hot in this, but the visuals leave a little to be desired. I think a bigger budget would have made this a real contender.
Spanglish — I really only have one beef with this movie: a lot of it is in Spanish (which I expected from the title, duh)… but there are no subtitles! I feel like I missed a lot of the movie because of that. Other than this minor oversight, I really enjoyed this movie. This family really is messed up in a lot of ways, mostly because of the mom, but hey, what family doesn't have some issues? They just have a lot. Other than that, it is great movie, and you will laugh a lot, especially at the grandma. I love her!
Spiceworld — Ok, so I know what you are thinking. And yes, I did see it, and it was actually very funny. It is super campy, which, if you have read my DVD library site, then you know I love campy. LOVE IT!
Steel Magnolias — Weezer and the gang. Laugh, cry, do it all. This movie has everything. Even Annelle's wild streak. This is also a must have.
The Sum Of Us — I recently saw this on showtime (yes, the magic of showtime), and it was so good. It even made me cry a little at how sweet it was. It is story about a father and his gay son, who happens to be Russell Crowe! That is worth checking out!
S.W.A.T. — I have to admit that this movie was recommended to me by several people, and it really didn't live up to what they were telling me about it. It gets much better once you are about 45 minutes into the movie, when the action/plot really kick in. Did I mention that Colin Farrell is in this movie too? Yeah, he is.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) — Now this is a scary movie. Loosely based on a true story of a man who went crazy and hacked up people so that he could make a mask out of their skin, this slasher flick tells the story of 5 very unlucky kids that stumble into a this ass backwards town. Leatherface, the killer goes at them full force, swinging his chainsaw, and leaving a trail of carnage throughout the movie. This one is pretty scary, and is actually filmed very well. As far as horror movies go, it is quite enjoyable.
Thundercats — (want) I have always loved this show, since I was a kid. Thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder cats!!! ROAR!!! Give me sight beyond sight. All of that. Any show where they could name a woman Chetara, I am in. I actually really want this, now that I have typed all that out… whoa. I still have my Liono figurine… complete with his claw. Oh yeah.
Titus — A very interesting remake of a Shakespearian classic, Titus Andronicus. Star studded, and awesome. Visually stunning, too. It is really, really long though. But I think that has something to do with the whole “epic” thing.
Tommy Boy — Chris Farley is awesome in this. This is a really, really funny movie. My sister and I used to quote this movie all of the time. Fat guy in a little coat? You bet. I can actually hear you getting fatter? Please? Did I catch a 'niner' in there? Please stop. Please?
Touch of Pink — While the concept of this movie, and even a lot of the writing, is good, the movie falls flat on its face; even though you are rooting for it not to. This movie is a look at Alim's life with his boyfriend Giles, who reach a crossroads in their relationship when Alim's mother comes for a visit. Typically, Alim has not come out to her, and doesn't plan to, which sends Giles over the edge. The movie gets a little better for a few minutes, but then just loses all of its romantic-ness, when, instead of talking to each other, Alim just up and leaves for Canada (with his mother), and Giles just finds someone else to sleep with. I thought that it was a pretty pathetic portrayal of gay relationships, and makes a fool out of the viewer by giving them such a superficial answer to a solvable problem in what is presented as a long term relationship. I feel like this movie had all the pieces of a great work of gay cinema, and confused apples for oranges, and ended up messing it up in the end. With that being said, it is entertaining, and even heartwarming at points (like when he comes out to his mother, finally), especially if you are gay and have been through that situation. That is the only thing that makes this movie worth watching.
The Transporter 1 & 2 — Did someone just scream, “Jason Statham is smoking hot?”… oh wait, that was me. Part 2 was much better, and very well done (Luc Besson directed it!)… but he was hot in both of them, so does it matter? Actually, yeah, it does… go with 2… nice.
Troop Beverly Hills — (want) Do the FREDDIE! Love this movie. I remember it from when I was little. Shelley Long is marvelous. What a great idea, making a movie about, essentially, the “girl scouts” and having a troop that is prim and proper from Beverly Hills. I am there.
The Truth About Cats and Dogs — This is a really cute movie with Uma and Janeane. A bit different for each of them, in my opinion, but I still like it. Gotta. love a good romantic comedy.
Two Weeks Notice — Cute romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock working for mean boss Hugh Grant. Charming romance ensues.
Undead — (do NOT want) I honestly must say that I didn't get past the first twenty minutes of this movie; so I can only comment on those. With that being said, the first twenty minutes of this movie fucking sucked. Nuff said.
The Upside of Anger — I must admit that I really did not want to see this movie when it came out in both the theaters or on DVD; but the fact that it had Keri Russell in it peeked my interest enough for me to rent it from Netflix. I am glad that I did. This movie has a lot of family moments as they really occur, and isn't afraid to tackle the mucky stuff. But that, is a good thing. Joan Allen is awesome in this, and I even enjoyed Kevin Costner; which is something that I never thought I would say. The movie is kind of dark, but does have lots of funny points, and will have you laughing all of the way through; despite some serious subjects that will arise. I recommend this highly.
Very Bad Things — Wow. This movie is very twisted. The end will really get you. I mean, just to think that the main reason why everything is happening is because they tried to get rid of a dead stripper. Do none of you watch Family Guy? Killing strippers is bad. They are people too, even if they are dead inside.
View From The Top — My absolute favorite part of this, is when she tells the lady that she has flown before and is fine, and then the next second, she is up screaming in everyone's face. Not a typical role for Gwyneth, but I love her for doing this. Christina Applegate rules! (just had to get that in there).
Waiting… — This movie had a ton of potential, i.e. making fun of the waiting profession and what really goes on the kitchen, but instead it was a frat party. Boo. Even Dane Cook was kind of a disappontment in this; which surprised me.
War of the Worlds (2005) — I know that many people see that this one has Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning in it, and will probably go running, but I am glad I stayed to watch. This is a remake of the original radio series and movie, where aliens come back to earth to use machines they buried eons ago to destroy the human race; so that they may inhabit the earth. Basically, the whole movie is a constant running away struggle by Tom Cruise and his family, where they do pretty much whatever it takes to survive. Dakota Fanning shows that she is an AMAZING actor in this film, as many times, you actually feel like she is genuinely terrified for her life. Tom Cruise actually does a really decent job as well. If you like watching films where there is a continual, palpable feeling of “oh shit, we are so fucked”; then this is the film for you. The ending is a little weak, but overall, this is definitely a wild ride. And the noise those alien machines makes will make you shiver…
Wayne's World — Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent! Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Hilarious.
The Wedding Date — While I absolutely love Debra Messing, I feel like this movie was created just to give her a vehicle to be on the big screen. It really feels like they made this movie just for her, but didn't bother making it any good. The concept is pretty bad: woman hires hooker to play her boyfriend at her sister's wedding; and it gets worse at every turn: most of the things that would make that funny end up making you just feel sorry for Debra's character. If you really like Debra Messing, I say rent it, she is very cute in the movie, but if you are expecting anything half as good as her portrayal of Grace, then you will be sadly disappointed. And, I just don't see the sex appeal of Dermot Mulrony… I just don't.
What Dreams May Come — This is a visually stunning portrayal of life after death. It is a serious role for Robin Williams, though, so be warned. You won't be laughing much here. It is definitely a tear-jerker.
The Witches — I remember seeing this movie when I was a little kid. I really loved this movie for some reason, hence it's appearance here. I actually made a little “hamster play area”, full of tunnels and cat-walks, based on the ones in this movie. Impressionable, YES!
Wizard Of Oz — Childhood classic, and always an original. I believe that this movie needs little explanation. Who wouldn't love Dorothy Gale, from Kansas? (Well if you read Wicked, on which the musical is based, you might not like her so much anymore!)
Woo — This is Jada Pinkett Smith at her best. This movie is hilarious and wonderful. There are drag queens, bar fights, fat ex girlfriends, and car alarms. This is a must see!
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