Category: that is so gay

um, thanks… FOR NOTHING

It seems that my outrage yesterday was a little less than it should have been. Turns out, the gesture Obama tried to placate us with, was worth nothing:

The memorandum Obama signed Wednesday is not expected to grant health and retirement benefits to same-sex partners, as that is prohibited under the Defense of Marriage Act.

(source)

That’s right, fellow gays and lesbians, say it with me; we are STILL:
SECOND.
CLASS.
CITIZENS.

…and it doesn’t look like that is going to change any time soon.

This is not just disappointing, it is outrageous. This is a major slap in the face, Mr. President, and it will not be ignored. What was initially seen as a cop out, is now an empty promise worth practically nothing. Sure, I know you are limited by DOMA, but this empty gesture is not good enough, and frankly it is insulting that you would think that it is worth anything at all.

Perhaps I am being too harsh though… as you do care, right? Allow me the chance to give you the benefit of the doubt; you did say,

“I believe it’s discriminatory. I think it interferes with state’s rights, and we will work with Congress to overturn it.”

(source)

So when can we expect this to happen? If you really want to do something for gays and lesbians, DO SOMETHING. Instead of handing us empty promises, why not take actions that would actually matter? If striking down DOMA is what it will take, why didn’t you propose legislation to do just that; instead of handing us this bullshit?! Saying that you are against something while doing absolutely nothing to stop it, implicates you as a willing accomplice. Mr. President, you are guilty of standing by while we are again, discriminated against, publicly, by our government. It is going to take more than a strongly emphatic “opposition” (with a current obvious lack of any sign that you will actually do more than “be against it”) to make a difference, and I for one am waiting to see if you will actually do anything you continue to promise. The problem is, I am losing my patience.

Again, Mr. President, I am outraged at the sheer lack of support for the community that supported you so ferociously during your rise to power; only to be ushered to the back of the bus once you took the podium. For shame, Mr. President, for shame. I only hope that you will bring the change that you promised, and stop trying to sell us snake oil instead. This is one member of the gay community that is rapidly losing support for the great man that I thought you were.

um, thanks?

Am I the only one who thinks that Obama’s recent act of granting benefits to same sex couples is kind of, well, a cop out? First of all, it is only for federal employees, which is definitely nice, since I work for the government, and know many people that will be able to take advantage of this, where they couldn’t before. However, as a contractor for the government, I work for a company that already has these benefits in place; so it doesn’t really affect me other than my thinking it’s a nice gesture. Again, it’s nice, and I am happy he decided to do it, but this is a very, very minor gesture that will have little to no impact in the actual need for our civil rights to be recognized nationwide.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that Obama is in a place of intense scrutiny and has a lot on his plate. However, if he really wanted to do something that would actually impact our community, how about addressing the myriad of issues that currently make things difficult for us? Placating a handful of us with same sex benefits just isn’t going to make us content enough to say thanks and feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

If he really wanted to do something that would make a definitive impact, that would be a true gesture of ushering in what I would consider an actual move in the direction of true equality, why not tackle the right to fire clauses that SO MANY businesses still have on the books? There are tons of businesses out there today that still have the right to fire people because of their sexuality on their books; which I would venture to guess comprises tons more employees than the government boasts. I just think it would be more worthwhile to make moves to actually making us equal citizens, and things like same sex benefits for government employees would follow these moves in the right direction.

I really hate to be a cynic, but this type of cop out really needs to be called out for what it is; a dog and pony show to mask his recent approval of DOMA. There are so many issues that affect our community, Mr. President, and seeing as how we threw our support behind you in the election, how about something a little bit more substantial; something that will actually benefit all of us? The slight of hand is not going to make us think for one second that we are actually getting more in the civil rights department. In other words, there is nothing to see here folks, keep moving, and keep hoping for something that would deserve more than a thumbs up from a handful of people.

STFU

A couple of weeks ago, it was ignorant Prejean, blabbing her opinion on the “gay lifestyle”, and her beliefs about gay marriage. She kept talking after the incident, and went so far as to claim that people choose to be gay. Clearly, she chose to be a heterosexual, and barely escaped a lesbian lifestyle. All I could think of everything she was saying was, shut the fuck up you ignorant twit. Seriously, we don’t need your bible thumping views and ignorant ideas to set our fight for equal rights back any more than we need a nail through the foot. Thanks. Moving on…

It doesn’t take long for another twit to get the mic, because here’s another person that I want to STFU: Virgina Foxx. She claims that Matthew Shepard’s HORRIBLE and VIOLENT death was not because he was gay, when it is like 99.9% clear that it was. I will never understand why people are so opposed to hate crime legislation, when so many people have been the victim of hate crimes. No one should have to be brutally slaughtered because of who they are, the color of their skin, or who they love. And if you are against it, fine, that’s your bag, but it’s reprehensible that she would go so far to discredit hate crimes legislation, and claim Matthew’s death was a “simple robbery”. How people can have their stupid heads buried this deep in the sand, and how they can somehow get public platforms is beyond me. Hey Virgina, STFU, alright? Just like Prejean, we don’t need your hateful ignorance, and your warped sense of reality mucking up things for us while we FIGHT for civil rights. What is so scary about gay people just being equal with everyone else?

It really peeves me even more that these are two women, who should know what it means not to have equal rights, seeing as women had to fight for them too. How quickly people forget. You know, you are entitled to your opinion, that’s true, but sometimes, you should think about the ramifications of your “ideals”, and just STFU already. Seriously, go back to your church and tell your mindless followers this crap; keep the public forum free of your hate-driven lies and ignorance please.

another, this time local, victim of hate

This completely breaks my heart: 11 year old boy named Jaheem Herrera, commits suicide to escape bullying and taunting from fellow classmates (h/t to my friend Joey who posted the link earlier this afternoon).

I don’t know if anyone even read the piece that I wrote last week about this EXACT thing happening to another 11 year old boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, but I will not let this go silently either.

This is sickening. This is outrageous. This is infuriating. This specifically made my already upset stomach turn: Jaheem’s mother, concerned, had talked to Jaheem’s best friend the prior week, who said,

Yes ma’am. He told me that he’s tired of everybody always messing with him in school. He is tired of telling the teachers and the staff, and they never do anything about the problems. So, the only way out is by killing himself.

I’ll say it again; DO SOMETHING if you see this happening. You CAN stop your children from being bigots. EVERYONE must stop the “playful” use of faggot and gay as derogatory terms; it isn’t a joke. ANOTHER 11 year old child is dead because people take this issue so flippantly. Taunting and teasing is not just “kids being kids”, and EVERY time this happens, it adds to the problem.

Our society of “subversive” hate and the fervent anti-homosexuality campaign in this country must stop. This should be a country were an 11 year old child can go to school without fear of being taunted, teased, and bullied to the point that the only way he feels he can escape is to kill himself. It just isn’t right, and I can’t believe that less than a week after writing about a horrible case of this happening, it shows up again, practically at my doorstep.

My heart goes out to Jaheem’s family. Jaheem, I am so sorry for what they put you through, and I am even more sorry that no one with the power to stop them stood up for you. They should be thoroughly ashamed.

Clearly, there is a major problem with anti-gay sentiment and outright hatred for gays in this country. I have to wonder how many children we need to lose before we start doing something about it? Sadly, many have gone before Carl and Jaheem, and many more will go before the judgment and hatred subside. What’s the WORST, is that it doesn’t even matter if these two boys were gay or not; their peers used the hatred and disgust behind words like ‘faggot’ to hurt them so badly, that they couldn’t take it anymore. It disgusts me that people continue to let this happen around them.

A final thought: I will never understand how the very people that stand there, pointing their fingers in our faces, saying that they are morally superior, pass the judgment that causes things like this to happen. Shame on you all. Your “feelings” about homosexuality are far more dangerous than homosexuality itself could ever be.

a concrete example of how the anti-gay movement in this country is so dangerous

“Hey Faggot”.
“You are such a little pussy”.
“Look, he’s not even a boy, he’s definitely a sissy little girl”.
“You’re gay”.

These are all phrases that I despise hearing, but I heard them, and several other colorful variations, MANY times all throughout my 12 years of public school. There were many times I would come home and just be so upset that I couldn’t even speak to anyone, because of the taunts that I received pretty much every day from other students. I dared not tell my parents, because of how embarrassed I felt that I was continually labeled in this way; I honestly didn’t want this seemingly horrible thing to be true about me. As I look back, I honestly don’t know how I made it, but I did. However, I did not escape completely unscathed. The damage was done, and I didn’t come out until I was 22; all because I feared being the very thing that I was accused of, and was convinced was so bad when I was younger because of the taunting and teasing that I received. I consider myself one of the lucky ones, because despite it all, I did make it, and it has, in part, made me who I am today.

My point in writing this is not to preach or even elicit sympathy; as I said, I am a grown man who made it through that hell and I am stronger for it. However, there are thousands of kids out there that are going through this same torture right now, and unfortunately, a bunch of them won’t make it. The torture of being taunted and teased by your peers day in and day out is enough for many gay (as well as kids that aren’t even gay, but are just different, and therefore labeled as such) kids to desire so strongly to escape that hell that they take their own lives.

Recently, this very thing tragically happened to Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover. He was taunted and teased, and in order to escape it, he only saw suicide as his way out. Suicide rates amongst gay youth is staggeringly high, and I honestly believe that if our society wasn’t so dismissive of the hateful way in which we are treated, it could be significantly lowered. Carl didn’t have to die in vain; we can change. We can teach our children that hate and bullying is extremely harmful, and that by doing so, you are emotionally scarring someone. Teachers and administrators can also take a huge role in this change by suppressing this behavior as it is seen and reported; unfortunately in this case, Carl’s mother complained to the school and no action was taken.

I am extremely saddened, and I feel horrible for Carl’s entire family. This young boy should not have had to endure the torture that he did, and no other child should have to endure it either. If you or someone you know is close-minded about homosexuality, and perpetuates any level of the hatred and bigotry that this form of torture stems from, tell them about Carl, and how he was an innocent 11 year old boy who was taken from this world far too soon. Tell them that the very hate that they feel inside themselves for homosexuals, or homosexuality, is what drove Carl to take his own life. The time for this mindset is over, and it has got to change.

Perhaps if we all stopped being so hateful with one another, and stopped pointing fingers and judging those around us, less kids will feel like they have to end it all to escape the torture. I for one, hope that with gay rights laws passing in many states recently, and the potential for it to continue to gain momentum ensues, that we will hopefully grow as a society, and stories like this can be a thing of the past. Carl deserves that, and nothing less. We all do. I’m so sorry Carl.

milk

We finally watched Milk the other night, and I really have to say wow, what a great movie. The fact that someone could have the drive and determination to always stand up to those that tried to push him down is incredibly inspiring. Harvey Milk was an amazing man, because he refused to just roll over and take it; he refused to give up. It’s a tragedy that he isn’t here today.

I also thought that the timing of this film was amazingly poignant and extremely relevant, with Harvey and his fellow Californians fighting Prop 6, and with current Californians fighting Prop 8. It just goes to show that things change, but in some ways, they stay the same; the fight isn’t over, and as of right now, it seems there will always be those out there that want to take our rights away from us. Thank God for the Harvey Milk’s of this world that are willing to fight for what is right.

Just as a final thought, I will NEVER understand what gives people the inclination that their opinion about someone’s life means anything to anyone other than themselves. If you think that homosexuality is a sin, I couldn’t care less; it is your opinion, not mine, so please keep it to yourself. Only when people stop trying to use their warped sense of morality and keep pushing their radical system of values (of which most of them do not even abide by), will we all truly be free, and is that really such a bad thing to hope for? I’m pretty sure that Harvey didn’t think so, and neither do I.

and the word of the day is…

Ki Ki: a descriptive term that is used to indicate when two drag queens hook up or have sex.

Thank you RuPaul!! Thanks to your fierceness, we learn something new and exciting each and every episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. This is seriously one of the most entertaining shows that I have seen on TV in a long time, so if you have Logo, you MUST start watching if you aren’t already. If you put Tyra Banks, America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway, and the soft filter that Barbara Walters uses on her cameras in a blender, and threw in an extra handful of mascara, lip gloss, drama, and glitter, you would get RuPaul’s Drag Race.

In a word, this show is genius. This is definitely reality TV of a whole new caliber, and I have been enjoying every minute of it. I can’t wait to see who wins!! As the bottom two get ready to battle for who will shantay and stay or sashay away, each episode, Ru says, “The time has come to lip sync for your life!”. Amazing.

milk’s legacy lives on

From last night’s Oscars:

Sean Penn had this to say:

For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support. We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.

He may have pulled a Hillary Swank in not thanking his wife, but what he said was definitely a big thank you to all gay people that will not go unnoticed. Thank you Sean Penn, and all other mega-famous people who support us. We really do appreciate it.

Also, the wonderful screenwriter of Milk, Dustin Lance Black had this to say:

It gave me the hope one day I could live my life openly as who I am and then maybe even I could fall in love and one day get married. If Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he would want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are ‘less than’ by their churches, by the government or by their families: that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value. And that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you. And that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights federally across this great nation of ours. Thank you, God, for giving us Harvey Milk.

What a great speech from a virtual “newcomer” who snagged the Oscar on his first big try. I’m glad that the Academy honored this film about such a wonderful, and inspiring man who was taken from us far too soon. I hope that Harvey is looking down on us from the heavens today and smiling; he certainly has made a lasting impact that will hopefully continue to shape the face of the gay rights movement.
(source)

5SF: november 14

Initially, I was planning on doing a homage post of some great one hit “oneders” from the 90s for today. However, last night, as I started looking, I kept finding songs I hadn’t heard in ages, and ended up finding WAY more than 5 songs that I would love to bring back out of obscurity, and show a little love to in these five song weekly festivals. So I decided to do one or two every now and then, and that way, I can have a (hopefully) steady stream of hits from the 90s that will make regular appearances in the five song Friday’s of the future. That sounds fun, doesn’t it? Well, let’s go ahead and get to this week’s installment; I have some great songs for you to listen to!

Tom Baxter – Better
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_tombaxter-better.mp3]
Sometimes, not very often, I hear a song, and it fucking moves me. This is one of those songs. I was reading my favorite music blogs last night, and XO unloaded this amazing piece of beauty on me, and I couldn’t be more grateful. This song is so beautiful, and so completely vulnerable, that I just can’t help but swoon like a school girl. I am so glad that there are great artists out there like Tom Baxter, making music like this that truly speak to me, and I am grateful to have fellow bloggers getting the word out about them. This is THE reason that I do these five song Fridays. I like to do my part in music dissemination, and I hope that my sharing tracks each week brings great stuff to you guys too; especially songs like this one… wow.

Take That – Greatest Day
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_takethat-greatestday.mp3]
I have to say, that I have always been a “fan” of Take That, but I have always had a hard time really, really getting into them. However, after seeing Stardust, and LOVING their amazing song that plays as the credits roll (Rule The World), I will admit that I was excited when I heard they were releasing an album next month. Well, one listen to Greatest Day, and I am even more excited, because it has the same feel and energy as Rule the World, and I am really, really digging it. Maybe 2008 is the year that Take That take my attention fully? I can say that things are definitely looking good at this point.

Logan Lynn – Feed Me To The Wolves
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_loganlynn-feedmetothewolves.mp3]
First of all, I will say that the first time I heard this song, I didn’t like it. However, I watched the video all of the way through a second time, and I really got into the lyrics. After watching the video again, I realized that I actually REALLY like it after all. Not only that, but Logan is kind of adorable, and I love the tenderness in his voice coupled with the electro beats in the background. This song is a major grower, so if you don’t love it instantly, please give it a second chance; I am so very glad that I did, because I realized how great it is, rather than letting it slip into oblivion. Also, I love that Logan is an out queer artist (ahem, Out Magazine), and represents another great gay musician out there on the scene.

Fall Out Boy – I Don’t Care
[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_falloutboy-idontcare.mp3]
I have been enjoying this fun little rock number for a few weeks now, and I was instantly in love with it when I first heard it. I have had kind of a love/hate relationship with Fall Out Boy, loving some stuff and hating other stuff, but there is no denying that these guys can turn out a killer single. This song is crazy catchy, and the chorus is infectious! Also, one MAJOR bonus, and perhaps the reason that I wanted to feature them this week, was that they donated $50,000 in opposition to Prop 8. Our straight allies are coming out of the wood work, and I am extremely proud to have them on our side; and it’s just a bonus that they make great pop music! Thanks for the support Fall Out Boy, and here is some support right back at you! I will DEFINITELY be getting their upcoming CD when it is released.

The Folk Implosion – Natural One

[audio:http://www.duanemoody.com/audio/fsf_1114_folkimplosion-naturalone.mp3]
Here’s this week’s 90s one hit wonder flashback track… and it’s a doozy. This song was in the controversial movie Kids, which I remember seeing in high school and being completely blown away at how gritty and no-holds barred it was. Regardless of how I felt about the movie, one thing REALLY stuck with me; this amazing song. I bought the CD single (remember doing that!!??), and my friend Chuck and I would drive around and listen to this song on repeat. After finding it again last night while I was looking for 90s one hit wonders, and listening to it again, I remember why I loved this song so much; it is epic. This song is so catchy, and the beat is so head bopping amazing, that even now, more than 10 years later, I find myself listening to it on repeat again. This song is fantastic, and I am glad to rediscover it. Just wait and see what else I have if you love this forgotten gem!!!

Whew, another Friday five on the books. Great stuff, eh? Let me know what you liked, or didn’t, and as always, tell me what you are listening to. I hope you enjoyed these tracks, and the addition of the 90s obscure track, and stay tuned for more songs that you probably loved, but probably forgot about ages ago!! Have a great weekend.

WTF Out magazine? Katy Perry as musician of the year? Are you JOKING?

Well, Out, you’ve gone and pulled another “WTF” moment on us with your recent choice of Katy “UR So Gay” Perry as MUSICIAN OF THE YEAR!!!!?!?!?!??! Regular readers know that I was been pissed at them before for outing celebrities (one of which has come out on her own since), so I guess that I should just expect stupid shit from one of the only gay magazines that we have in wide circulation. Seriously Out, what is going on with your writers and staff that has them so in the dark? Do you not realize that Katy Perry is perpetuating (without apology!!!) a negative gay stereotype; one that I am sure many of you had to overcome and deal with as kids in school? I just don’t get blatant stupidity like this. I have made my opinion about Perry known before on this blog, and it is still getting attention (thanks to links on wikipedia… wtf!?). I can only wonder where things will go now that I am calling spades again on Ms. Perry?!

After seeing the cover and reading the awesome post over at Dorothy Surrenders, I had to go and see what saving grace Out was sure to have in it’s interview with Perry; surely, they would confront her, right? Well, they didn’t (figures), but out of everything I read in the interview with Perry, and this was a gem for me:

Some of the opinions are just from people who are unhappy in their lives, or critics that wanted to be musicians but never fucking made it. We all know that. Unless there’s an amazing, legitimate journalist I respect, I don’t really take any of that shit to heart.

REALLY Katy? So you know what it is like to be a gay youth who gets called “gay” and “faggot” every day at school, and how that fucking hate and verbal abuse leads many gay youth to commit suicide? You know all about that, and we are all just bitter bitches, right Katy? Fuck you. FUCK YOU and your self righteous “I’m an artist so I don’t have to be socially responsible, and I don’t have to apologize for what I say” bullshit. You don’t deserve your 15 minutes more than anyone else, and I for one will be glad when the light dims over your pathetic career.

Shame on you, Katy, and shame on Out magazine for picking some dumb bitch like you as their freaking musician of the year (because clearly, there are NO LGBT artists out there worthy, right?). This is just one more reason that I will NEVER have a subscription to that piece of fluff “all about the abs, and all for show” Out Magazine. Clearly, they have their heads so far up their own asses that they are willing to just hop in bed with the same fuckers that picked on them on the playgrounds; all while laughing off the harassment that was slung at them.

I just want to say that I personally feel sorry for anyone that has to endure the bullshit that people throw at them in the form of verbal abuse; especially when it uses a word that describes them as a synonym for bad. I went through HELL in school, and I wouldn’t wish that one anyone, not even Katy Perry. Katy Perry perpetuates that very same hateful mentality in her song UR So Gay (I even gave her a lenient benefit of the doubt for I Kissed A Girl), and after hearing that she doesn’t give a fuck about what she is saying, I want that bitch to know that people like me aren’t just unhappy with our lives, or just “didn’t make it” like “she did”; we went through a fucking LOT to get where we are, and we don’t need more bullies out there being told that it’s okay to make fun of the gay kid, because hey, it’s funny anyway, right? Fuck you Katy Perry, and fuck you Out Magazine. It’s more than annoying when our own community turns a blind eye to those that will make fun of us to our faces, and then say it’s no big deal when confronted with the accusation; especially in a time that we are fighting for our rights. Way to accept second class citizenship guys… seriously. Ugh.