It’s interesting, because this same society gladly takes our tax money, our contributions to society, and expects us to serve our country, but people continue to pass laws that reflect whether or not they feel “comfortable” with the “idea” of us getting married? Um, how does that work? That’s not just “unfair”, it’s un-American.

Isn’t the constitution supposed to grant freedom; not take it away? Additionally, isn’t the constitution supposed to protect us from the government making decisions about whether or not to strip us of our civil rights? Where are the values and principles that represent the underlying foundation of this nation? They are glaringly absent when you look at any vote for or against anyone’s civil rights. This bears repeating: voting for or against anyone’s rights goes against the very foundation of this country. We are all supposed to be free and equal. By putting this up for a vote, more than half of the people in Maine have gone against the foundation of our nation, and have made it clear that they feel as if it is okay to make the decision against gay people being equal.

Again, how does this make sense?

Every time we vote for or against the civil rights of any group of people in this country, especially minorities, we are sending a clear message that their rights do not matter. No one should ever have to campaign to have the popular vote determine whether or not they can have the same rights as everyone else. It’s just plain wrong.

Shame on 53% of Maine voters for believing that their opinion matters more than the rights of gays and lesbians living in Maine. Since this isn’t the first, and it will not be the last time that our rights are in the hands of those that wish to discriminate, I also say shame on any American who thinks that their opinion matters more than someone’s civil rights.

One final thing. In looking for the results of the vote this morning, I came across this article, and I have to comment on the quote from Jeff Flint:

Voters have a pretty good grasp about what they think marriage should be. It’s not that they’re discriminatory or bigoted. They just draw the line at what they think marriage should be.

Um, what? I’m sorry, but I will never allow anyone who says bullshit like this to have a free pass. If you are against gay marriage, you are against it because of discrimination; that is what you voted on. You voted specifically in order to discriminate against gay people. Jeff, just because you are able to some how twist your illogical thoughts into what you consider rational doesn’t not get you off the hook. You represent a discriminatory body of Americans that have “values” and beliefs that are most certainly based on bigotry. You can’t take away someone’s rights and say that you did it for “personal reasons” or “personal beliefs”, and then in the same breath say, “but I have nothing against them”. Perhaps he should actually look up the word discrimination, because I don’t think he understands the concept.

Perhaps he, and others like him, should keep their opinions to themselves, and stop using them to determine whether or not someone else should or should not have equal rights. Feel free to define marriage however you want; just don’t decide how I, or anyone else, has access to my civil rights.

- This blog post about the (possibly diminished) potentiality of Adam Lambert’s success in the American conservative driven music market is a great read. When a queer artist doesn’t make it in the US music market, it’s difficult not to tie that to the fact that they are gay; especially when they can only be described as stellar (like him or not, Adam can really sing). If you look at artists like Will Young, Scissor Sisters, Mika, Westlife, and other queer artists that are hugely famous overseas that never get radio play here in the states, it gets even harder to not draw those same conclusions. While it was pretty clear that Adam lost American Idol because he was gay, as middle America was probably risking burning their houses down from all the rotary dialing in order to prevent that queer from beating the little straight guy, I hope that his sexuality doesn’t ruin his music career before it even starts. The boy is extremely talented, and I hope that he finds the success he deserves. Even more so, I wish American’s had more brains than they do drive to stamp out things they don’t understand, or things they equate to different, and therefore wrong.

- This makes me want to puke. Seriously? Censoring a children’s book because a character has two moms? What the fuck is offensive about SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE? Seriously, people that believe that this type of scenario is in any way offensive or “harming to them” needs to walk over and tell me in person so I can slap in the face like the fools they are. Seriously people, gay people and gay families are normal. Deal with it. If you want to “shelter” your child and your family from it, kindly pick up and go live in a shack in the woods where you won’t bother the rest of society, okay? (h/t to the the amazing jacksonpearce)

- Kind of related to the children’s book mentioned above, Towleroad reported about a gay family that made a video, acting out a book that is also getting a lot of negative attention because two princes get married and live happily ever after. This book is being slandered to spread hate in the Yes on One anti-gay marriage campaign in Maine. Here’s their video:

Not only was this video incredibly adorable, but they have made many more, using their family as a beautiful example of what is normal about gay families. I want to personally applaud those guys for what they are doing. Gay families are normal families, and the people behind these horrible campaigns like Prop 8, and now Prop 1 in Maine, should really take a look and see who’s lives they are messing with. The hypocrisy behind anyone saying they are anti-gay marriage because of “family values”, “morality”, and “protection of marriage” when everything they are doing against gay marriage is in spite of those very things, drives me insane. When will people learn to just butt out of our lives, and stop seeing who we are as offensive to them; especially when it has NO IMPACT on them in any way?

Now, I am going to say this to warn you, I am going to discuss something that happened on the show last night, so you have been forewarned of spoilers, and should stop reading now if you haven’t seen the episode/don’t want to see this spoiler.

On last night’s episode, Kurt came out to his father (he came out in the episode before it too, and while I’m glad they covered him coming out, I really hope the whole season isn’t Kurt coming out to people) and while I thought it was really touching, it was what was said said during their conversation that really hit me. Mike O’Malley (who’s kind of adorable) played Kurt’s father, and after Kurt came out to him, he said to him, “I’ve known since you were 3. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels.”. While his follow up was hilarious, I can’t help but focus on his initial response: “I’ve known since you were 3.”. For me, an unavoidable question arose when I heard that statement: why didn’t you say anything, then?

This reminds me of a scene from the first season of (the American version) Queer as Folk, where Justin’s mom Jennifer is talking to Debbie about their respective gay sons. Jennifer was having an issue with talking to Justin about it (I think it was about getting confirmation that he was indeed gay), when Jennifer said something to the effect of “when did you know your son was gay?”. Debbie’s response really resonated with me in the same way Kurt’s father’s response did; however, she took it a crucial step farther. Debbie tells her that she had always known, and quips to Jennifer that parents always know; which is the reason that she went to her son and talked to him about it, so that he wouldn’t have to face the difficulty of coming to her on his own.

What I wanted to get at with writing about this is, if parents know their child is gay, why don’t they talk to them about it, instead of making us go through the process of coming out? Even if you aren’t 100% sure your child is gay, at least going to them, and talking to them makes it easier for them to know that things are going to be okay. Coming out was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and unfortunately, I got that same response from my parents, “we’ve always known”.

This time I was asking myself: since they knew, why didn’t they say anything? Since they knew, why did they make me go through the pain of having to come to them, on my own, to tell them? I am sure they had to of noticed how hard it was for me to do it, and what I went through all of those years prior to your official confirmation, so again, why did they wait?

I think that many parents are afraid to take responsibility for things, and as such, are afraid to talk to their kids about things that are affecting them. This is a major reason why some parents are terrified to talk with their kids about sex, which, just like ignoring the gay issues, has its own set of consequences. It’s incredibly difficult for me to understand how you can be someone’s parent (or guardian), and not want to protect and love your child as much as humanly possible. It would seem to me, that this would include making things better for them in any way I could (in this case, making their lives easier by helping them come out by going to them first and letting them know it is okay).

Unfortunately, I know there are people out there that are just downright horrible people, and many of those people would likely cause harm to their child if put in this situation; and as such, these are not the people I am asking to answer this question. A friend of mine in college named Mandy was thrown out by her parents when they found out she was indeed a lesbian, and they cut her off completely. People like that should really be ashamed of themselves, but are clearly so selfish, that I am certain that isn’t possible. Yet, parents that aren’t horrible people like the ones I just mentioned, still let their kids go through the painful process of discovering who they really are alone. I just don’t get it.

I once dated someone whose parents came to him and discussed his sexuality before he came out to them, and they had an amazing relationship. I always admired them for their being so forthcoming with him, and making the issue of his sexuality something that helped him, instead of hurt him. By opening up to him, he wasn’t forced to go the often difficult journey of discovering who you are, and coming out, alone. Seeing it practice even strengthened my curiosity as to why so many parents don’t do the same thing his parents did for him.

I can tell you, that if I ever have kids, no issue will be “off the table”. I think one of the best ways you can show your child that you love them, is by not keeping vital information that you know they are struggling with to discover themselves to yourself; the damage that could arise always outweighs the discomfort you might feel engaging in a sensitive conversation. If there is anything that I would want to come out of this, is if any parent reads this, and you think your child might be gay, talk to them about it. The worst thing that could happen, is that you make their life easier in the process; and isn’t that what every good parent wants for their child?

AAAwoooo!

So why was the raid even carried out? If the undercover officers were present prior to the raid, as was reported by the police, they would have been able to observe that NO sex acts were occurring, right? Yet, they continued with the raid; which makes this excuse invalid. Additionally, after the raid, and even after no drugs were found (the other so-called reason for the raid), they checked each person’s ID, and ran background checks in what seems like a clear attempt to “find something”. At best, the only claim that they have, is that undercover cops should have arrested someone having sex or using drugs at the time they witnessed it; otherwise, it’s a moot point, and frankly, a half-assed excuse that does not justify the events that occurred last Thursday night.

Now, I am not saying the Eagle is perfect by any means, but if you give two reasons why you raided a bar, and the treatment of its customers was harsh and anti-gay at best, you have to at least substantiate those claims in your explanation, Officer Pennington. Saying that it was “suspicion” isn’t good enough, especially when you again, consider the treatment of the patrons. This statement is essentially admitting that the police involved illegally detained people, searched them, and then illegally ran background checks on them; and that it is okay, even though they lacked the proper lawful permission to do so. I just want to know why the police, who are supposed to be bound by the law, are apparently above it?

This is the part of his statement that probably angers me the most (from the article linked above):

He also expressed regret that Danni Lynn Harris, the department’s liaison with the gay and lesbian community, had not been notified of the raid.

“She should have been invited,” Pennington said. If she had been there, the chief said, any inappropriate behavior by the officers could have been curtailed.

“This is very unfortunate this incident occurred,” Pennington said. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

So, Officer Pennington, their behavior should only be kept in check when another gay officer is around? I don’t know what bothers me more; the fact that she wasn’t there to “keep them in line”, or the fact that these officers are apparently such bigots at heart, that these checks and balances are even necessary. I thought policemen and policewomen were supposed to protect us, all of us; regardless of race, gender, religion, or orientation? Apparently, that only applies when your community liaison is present.

Again, I’m calling bullshit, Officer Pennington. I only hope the investigation of these events, is not over run with the deception that already clearly blankets this situation in fog. This was a clear violation of the rights of those involved, and I hope that the Atlanta police are held responsible for their actions. It boggles the mind to see that crime is escalating in the manner in which it is throughout Atlanta, yet, in a 1960′s fashion, police officers are beating down the doors of a gay bar because of suspicion that “something unsavory is going on in the dark”. It’s good to know that my tax dollars are hard at work.

I know it may seem “meager” or “nit-picky” but it’s honestly little things like this that constantly reaffirm the second class status of gay people. I ended up emailing them, because sometimes, it really is simple ignorance, and I was hoping that was the case in this instance. Here was the email I sent:

I just took the survey on your website after committing to buy one of your products, and I find it interesting that you don’t offer an option for same sex couples. Clearly, we cannot get married in most parts of the US, as well as most of the world, and I am slightly offended that I was required to answer the question as a part of your survey; because I am neither single, NOR married. Granted, I didn’t have to take the survey, but since I did, I felt compelled to drop you a line to let you know that a simple inclusion field for partnered/in a relationship would clear this whole thing right up; that, or not requiring that I answer the question with an incorrect answer. Thanks, Duane Moody

They replied with:

Hi Duane,
You are absolutely correct. We need to fix this survey right away – and we will do so as soon as possible.

Like I said, this may be incredibly minor, but when you take a bunch of minor things (as well as some major ones) they start to really add up after a while, and every new one is just a reminder of every other one before it. I can now cross this one off the list, and appreciate the fact that they responded quickly and kindly. I am sure that a lot of people see it as complaining, and sweating the small stuff, but I see it as all part of the bigger picture. We have to be recognized as equal; not just considered later when we bring it up that we were excluded.

This is not really a “little thing”, but there was a raid on the Eagle last night, that reeks of Stonewall-esque civil rights infringement, and it really brings home the point that I am trying to make about our struggle being FAR from over. Some thoughts about the Eagle raid: while they may have gone in on suspicion of “seedy” behavior, and they may have been well within their rights to shut things down for not having the proper permit, from the sound of it, they had a very heavy hand in doing so. I know that if I would have been there, legally drinking in a bar, one that holds a legal liquor license, and would have been handcuffed OR searched, without explanation, I would have been outraged. Even though I wasn’t there, I can’t help but read this, feel as though The Eagle and its patrons were being targeted because it was a gay establishment. I don’t like to think those things, but the description (especially the recall of one person who was there) of the event, makes almost impossible not to.

Honestly, if it is what it sounds like it is, it is really unbelievable that it happened; not only in Atlanta, but in 2009. I, for one, would like to know why the cops aren’t out there working on stopping the violent crimes that have been escalating over the past couple of years; instead of raiding gay bars? If we have such a “shortage” of funds and police force, why are they focusing on the lack of a permit for dancers in a gay bar, instead of bigger, more dangerous stuff? Couldn’t they have issued some kind of warning, or citation that would certainly wouldn’t necessitate a raid? Again, the more I look at this situation, the more it reeks of discriminatory action. I’m interested to see how this Eagle raid story develops, and I hope that it doesn’t fall squarely on the ever-growing list of acts discrimination against gay people in this country; because whether the items are big or small, it’s a really long list.

So I noticed my desktop background was gone the other day, and I also noticed a new notice from Windows Vista on the right side of the tool bar, where the process icons run. This new process is asking me to “activate” or “validate” Windows, and when I click on it, it warns me that my key is not valid, which is completely not true.

I bought this computer a couple of years ago, and I have no idea why all of a sudden, Windows Vista would decide that the key was no longer sufficient. If anyone has ran into this problem, can you share your solution?
PLEASE NOTE: Solutions should not include:

• Buying a new key for Windows Vista: because I shouldn’t have to pay for something twice.
• Contacting the manufacturer of the PC: because last time I contacted the manufacturer of my PC, they simply noted I was out of warranty and wanted $59 an hour to “solve my problem”; which I got a friend to fix for free.
• “Revert to XP”: because the damn PC came with Vista on it, and except for constant issues with iTunes, I hadn’t had any issues with Vista up until now.

I have not put in my key (that is located on the side of the PC), because I am afraid that it will invalidate that key (I am using logic to come to this conclusion, because that key should be the one that is already on file on the PC, because, again, it was the version of Vista that came with the PC), and I don’t want to risk ruining my current, legitimately paid for key. I am wondering if this is some virus or some issue/update/problem that does have a fix out there that I am just not presently aware of.

Any help is much appreciated.

2. I would use the fucking lights, and not play in the dark.
As much as I love going to concerts, I love taking concert pictures just as much. I like to get a neat shot of the person that I payed to see perform, which for me, is a major keepsake, and a memory of my experience. However, and this is a big however, when they perform in the dark, it is not only hard to see them with my naked eye, but it is damn near impossible to get a decent picture. So for my show, you would see me flooded in light, actually performing for a crowd; not hiding in the dark while I sing on stage. I would also make sure to have a little stage presence; she was bent over or had her back to the audience most of the show.

Looking back at the night, I thought I had more things that I would do if I were in the band, but I guess the other gripes I had about the show had nothing to do with the actual performance. First of all, I may sound like an old codger, but it was way too fucking loud at that show. Those of you that have been to the Loft know that it is a small space, and it really doesn’t need to be EAR BLEEDINGLY loud for the show to be good. I want to be able to continue listening to the good music that I came out to see after the show ends, afterall.

Also, after Bat For Lashes finished their “1st set” (you know, the fake, “goodnight!” before coming out to play basically the second half of your show), I was pretty tired of standing in the front, so I asked James and Broderick if they were ready to head to the back, and maybe even home (my feet were hurting because we waited forever for her to take the stage, afterall). While walking through the crowd, this guy that was several rows of people behind us says to me as I pass him something to the effect of, “hey big guy! you are so freaking tall! you were blocking us all night! glad you are leaving!!!”. Being who I am, I couldn’t let a bitchy remark go without retort, so to that, I leaned into him, and made sure to say loud enough so his short ass could hear me, “Well, now you’ll know to get here earlier next time, so you can stand up front, won’t you?”.

Seriously. You came to a standing room, general admission concert, and you are bitching because someone 6’1″ is standing in front of you?! Go fuck yourself, munchkin; it isn’t my fault that a) you are shorter than me, nor more importantly, b) that I got there earlier than you and found where I wanted to stand, and did so because I knew that it was standing room only, general admission. I honestly couldn’t believe he had the nerve to bitch about it, especially when there were several people around me that were the same height as me, but I digress.

Overall, the show was great, and I can just add these to my “general gripes” about things in life. Ah, first world problems… so much fun to bitch about, eh?

Here’s what he said (the first time around), in “response” to my review of my experience at Green’s Liquor store:

After reading Duane M. review of Green’s Beverage Store, I had to fire back. I visit Green’s Beverage store once or twice a month. Everyone there has always been very nice and helpful.
However, I have never carried a purse and I don’t understand why a man would. You said you are not a woman, but after reading all your reviews you sure do act and bitch like a woman. Come on, we all know that someone that wants to homosexualize America likes to pretend that he is a woman. Perhaps Duane should take the dildo out of his ass!! Fucking pussys like you make me sick. When you choose to suck another man’s dick or take some guys cock up your ass, you become a 2nd class citizen. You have no right to ever bitch. Please keep your mouth shut and get back into the closet.
hmmmm, and you wonder why most of America hates gays.

So eloquent. Let’s look at the face of a true bigot, and oh so clearly one of the highest forms of complete and total asshole, Jake P. of Dacula, GA, shall we:

Now, the review was flagged, and eventually taken down, and I didn’t even know about it until I randomly read this thread. However, Yelp allowed him to post another review, very similarly filled hate speech as the first one:

After reading Duane M. review that he likes to dress up like a woman and wants to homesexualize American, I had to do something. I go into Green’s a few times a month and everyone is very nice and helpful.
But, Duane with his fag bag is acting like a little bitchy woman.
Perhaps if Duane got his dildo out of his ass, all of America would be a better place to live in. Duane what you wrote about Green’s was pure hateful, you being a little light in the loafers should understand what is it to be hated.
You are not a woman, your worse. Your a 2nd class citizen, start acting like one.

That second review was even better, Jake flexes his superior knowledge of all things grammar (um, it’s you’re, sweetness, not your).

While this will probably be taken down as well (I’m fairly certain it has of this posting), I can’t help but question why Yelp would allow someone like this to remain a member of their site? As a member of Yelp for YEARS, I was honestly considering deleting everyone of my reviews and publicly declaring myself against their organization; especially because they did not initially seem to have much concern for their members (if only because this guy was allowed to go on posting hate speech, even after he was “punished” for doing it the first time). Not only am I extremely offended by the bigot that was allowed to spread his hate about me without any repercussion (on a public website that I am willingly a part of), but I am even more upset that they there was very slow response to one member of their site clearly gay bashing another (my point being that he was allowed to continue using the site with no restriction).

Well, I sent this post to the Atlanta Ambassador for Yelp, and I got an answer and a clear and expected response, and they are taking care of it. That is a major plus in the Yelp column. As I mentioned above, I considered severing ties with Yelp, because I have had enough people call me a faggot to my face during my lifetime, to continue supporting a web service that just gives someone the platform to do it to me on the internet. However, because of Yelp’s positive and proactive actions, I will not go that far. HOWEVER, and that is a BIG however, I still think that people like this should be banned from the site after a post as bad as his was; 3 strikes is clearly 2 too many with things like this. A first offense of this nature should not be tolerated. If you are clearly bashing another member of the site, do you really deserve a chance to keep contributing? It honestly destroys my hope for humanity when people like this rear their ugly heads, and spread their hatred for all to see.

UPDATE: BANNED. Yelp wins. AWESOME. Thank you YELP!!! I really makes me happy that Yelp takes things like this seriously.

Yeah, you’re right… being gay isn’t all that bad anymore. Being second class isn’t that big of a deal. Things are just swell for us, and we should stop complaining. RIIIIGHT.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but the salary of a teacher isn’t a large one, and the job is grueling. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen him deal with horrible students, angry parents, and have the administration turn their backs on him every time; and he is not alone, MANY of my friends are teachers and deal with similar issues every day. He works his ass off, and the thanks he gets is a meager salary (ESPECIALLY when you consider the work put in, it should be MUCH higher), zero respect from students, parents, and the administration; and now a demand from our “wonderful” governor to give some of it back. How much do teachers need to give before we let THEM have something back?!

Since everyone should be giving back, Sonny Perdue, why not give some of your salary back? If this deficit is such an issue, why not make cuts on other things, things that are not as important as the education of our state’s youth? I can’t find a direct comparison, but I’ve heard many times that Georgia’s school rank very low when compared nationally, which to me, would indicate a severe NEED to make it as good as possible. Taking from those that give so much for so little is not only wrong, but frankly, it is completely insulting. Someone that is sitting so happily in his ivory tower as Perdue could never, and apparently will never, grasp how difficult the job of teaching youth really is; hell, I only hear the stories, and I know that I could never do it. To me, this is a slap in the face of our state’s teachers, who already contend with a drastically underfunded educational program in the first place.

It sickens me the way that teachers are treated, because it is perhaps one of the most (if not THE most) important jobs one can have. Sonny Perdue, this is not only wrong, it is shameful and hurtful that you would expect even more from those that give everything they have, and take a pay cut in doing so. I hope that the rallying of teachers can strike this ridiculous request down, but knowing how “caring” Perdue has been up until this point, I can bet that teachers should expect just another big old helping of shit to add to their already difficult professional lives. Shame shame shame.