I have been wondering what is keeping me from doing things that I like to do (like taking pictures) recently (and for quite a while now), but I don’t think that it is because I am uninspired so much as I feel a bit stuck. I feel like I am waiting… waiting on things to materialize on next steps for some things, and here I am, trapped in the interim, and I am just stuck. I have felt a bit in a rut lately, but I think that I am just beginning to really notice it; I think it is bigger than even I see.
I need to pull myself out somehow. I really respect other people that seem so adept at doing that for themselves, and hope to take some of their success as motivation for my own use. I guess I tend to get caught up in the goings on of every day, and find myself waiting for the next day… EVERY day. That is where the rut comes into play, and it almost always sneaks up on me, as it has done in this most recent case.
I am writing it here, because I want to make an effort to try a bit harder not to be so complacent, and to motivate myself. Perhaps putting it out there will make a difference? Who knows. It has and hasn’t in the past, but at least it’s a step. ANY step feels like a success right now.
I think that part of it, is that there are so many things that I want changed, that I start to see all of them, and I let them overwhelm me, and I end up not doing anything at all… and I hate that about me. I’ve always been that way too, so I don’t see that as something that I can change, so much as I can just deal with it. It’s weird, because I feel like I am all or nothing in some things; like when I was so obsessed with my weight, that I worked out 6 days a week, and weighed a crazy-skinny 160 lbs. Now, I look at myself in the mirror, and wonder what the fuck happened? I have gained so much weight, and feel so lazy because I am not doing anything about it. Yet, instead of going to work out and fix it, I just skip working out and sulk. This is one of the worst aspects of the rut and the complacency, yet I can’t seem to shake it. I feel like writing it down may make me a bit more accountable, but I don’t even know if that will make a difference.
I just wish I could tap into some (SOME) of that tenacity that I used to have… some of the old me to help the new me shake this rut; even if it is only for a little while. I’m telling myself right now that I am going to try, and honestly, that’s the best that I can do. I hope that it works.
So, which are the,say, two things that you are going to change, starting today?
Blog about it and let us know after one week how it went!
Steve, for starters, I am really going to focus on the picture taking and the weight issue. Spin class will NOT be skipped tomorrow!!!!
It’s probably something you shouldn’t do here (at least initially), but you need to write ALL of the stuff down you’re concerned about. Then prioritize it, and be honest with yourself as far as what’s the most important. Finally, come up with a plan, and stick with it as much as possible. At that point, then you can share it with us, and we can hold you to it!
But remember Duane, don’t discount all the things you DO do, like school and home projects and ect. Sometimes when you get to feeling like this it is easy not to think of the positives. I know I do!
If you ever want to take go out and take photos, let me know!! I definitely agree with Doug that you shouldn’t discount what you already do. School is a big deal and there are a lot of people including myself that say they’d like to or should go back to school but take the easy route. And if you get bored with spin class there’s always other things that you can do to get your fitness in — walking, hiking, biking outside, etc.
Although you feel uninspired, just know that you inspire a lot of us out here, including myself. You introduce me to music that I may have never heard if it weren’t for you, I get to see a lot of places that I’ve never been through your photos and your humorous personality makes me smile even on the days when I really don’t feel like it. You inspire me with your life. Turn the wheel a bit and you’ll climb right out that rut. We love you D!
OK sounds like you are spiralling — hee hee. i can relate.
I like to start small. (it’s about to get real LA up in here, get ready…)
Do you feel your feet against the floor? (If you don’t, your numb, and thats not good.) Focus on the floor beneath you and how you are connected to it, place yourself back in the room, not in your head. Wiggle your toes too, it’s fun, easy, and no one will know your doing it.
Take walks. Walks outside, not in a gym on a treadmill, outside, really help you get perspective, oxygen, inspiration. grab the camera, the ipod, the man, and take a walk.
(Here’s the one I’m struggling with)… Turn it OFF. The TV, the Wii, the iphone, anything that dulls your creative mind. Even 10 minutes less a day will help jolt you back to activity.
Those are little things, but they help, trust PopMuse.
xx,
mp
John, Doug, Broderick, Chad, and Popmuse… I just want to say it: you guys are awesome. Thanks for the support and the great advice!! I really appreciate it. All of these kinds words are truly inspiration. I am definitely working on it! Stay tuned for updates!