What happened last night can only be described as surreal. Trying to order a drink at a bar got me yelled at, to which I walked away from, and then the bartender came after me for more, which led to my ultimately leaving the bar. I think that what I wrote for my yelp review is pretty expressive of the experience, so I felt that I should let that tell the story (with minor edits):
To the bitchy, old, full of herself queen that works the bar:
Just because you are bitter that you have to work Saturday nights, instead of getting your party on, doesn’t make it okay to take it out on the patrons of this clearly “second tier” establishment. You clearly have some anger issues that need professional attention, and I suggest that if you are going to continue to be a bartender, that being a complete and utter ASSHOLE should be something that you should work on, stat.
Basically, here’s the story. I have been to Oscars several times, but never have I thought anything other than, “oh, we have to go there… ugh”. Mostly, because the bar is a bit tragic, and as far as gay bars go in ATL, it was always very close to the bottom of my list of choices. Well, after last night, it is now the last place I would EVER step foot into again.
A good friend of mine was celebrating his birthday, and we decided to go to Burkharts, which is right across the parking lot from Oscars. After becoming annoyed with the ever growing crowd at Burkharts, it was decided that we should move on to Oscars, because, as expected, it wouldn’t be as crowded (it never really is… which is probably reflective of why I will never set foot in there again). After paying tabs and making our way over, we settled on the patio outside, which was empty except for our group.
I went back inside to get a drink, and found an empty place at the bar to lean in and ask for a drink. There were two bartenders standing directly in front of me, one mixing a drink, and the other just standing there. They both made continual eye contact with me, and taking that as a cue, I simply leaned in and said, “can I have a miller lite?”, assuming that their eye contact meant that they were curious as to how they could help me. What I wasn’t expecting was the aforementioned old bitchy asshole’s response. He was the one making the drink. His response literally took me by surprise, because he said in a very derogatory way, “well, I will, if you can WAIT YOUR TURN“, literally yelling the last part at me. Being the person that I am, who doesn’t really put up with bullshit, especially in situations where I am paying for a service, I put my money back in my pocket, said “fine then”, and walked back outside to my friends. I was a bit taken aback that he would be so rude, but just decided that this place wouldn’t be getting any of my money, and tried to move on.
Then, about 5 minutes later, the other bartender came outside to “cool me off” I guess, and stated that the asshole bartender was “just like that”, to which I told him that it was really rude, and that I wasn’t going to be going back in there to deal with it. He asked me if I wanted anything, and I told him that I didn’t appreciate the attitude, and that I was fine, for him to leave me alone. The whole conversation was civil, but still awkward, as the asshole had sent someone else out to feign a half-hearted attempt at an apology.
What I thought was over, can only be followed by a situation that ranks near the top of the most ridiculous, immature, and completely unacceptable experiences I have had in my life. The asshole that had been rude to be decided that he was going to come out and “straighten me out”. He came out on to the patio, and loudly declared that he was “looking for the idiot that couldn’t take a fucking joke”. I thought I could avoid the situation by remaining silent, but after continual demanding shouts of the same demeaning request, my blood was boiling, and so I told him that I was not an idiot because I didn’t want to put up with his attitude.
This quickly escalated into an all out shouting match between the asshole and myself; with every attempt I made to get him to leave me alone was met with him insulting me over and over again at the top of his lungs. It was clear that this asshole was 100% asshole, and there was no way that he was going to back down. I kept asking him to just shut up, and leave me alone, and he would not back down. I kept saying that I couldn’t believe that I was having such a ridiculous conversation with such an immature individual, to which he kept saying that he couldn’t believe how he was talking to such an idiot. I told him that he must be talking to himself, because I am not an idiot for decidedly not putting up with some asshole’s rude behavior. Finally, I told him that what he was expecting was for me to just put up with him being and asshole, and if that is what he wanted, that he could fuck off, and at that, he demanded that I leave the bar.
I told the people I was with that if they had rode with me, that I was clearly leaving, and the asshole even continued shouting at me as I tried to get out of the bar as fast as I could. He just wouldn’t stop. Needless to say, I left, and will NEVER return to Oscars again.
What really bothers me looking back on the situation, is how it escalated to a point where I was standing in a group of my friends trying to get this old fucker to leave me alone, and NO ONE spoke up, or defended me. Even after I left the bar, only one of my friends came outside to see how I was, and out of a group of almost 10 of my friends, not a single person inquired as to how I was after the obviously ridiculous and intense moment. I can say that without a shadow of a doubt, that if the same thing had happened to one of them, I would have spoken up, or at least seen how they were after the situation, but none of the same was afforded to me. That really bugs me, but there is nothing I can do about it, I can’t dictate the actions of others, which is clear when I couldn’t diffuse the bitchy asshole’s misplaced rant on me for not putting up with his bullshit.
I honestly wish I had never set foot in that bar last night, but I can’t take it back; just know that asking me to go back there is completely out of the question. And a final message for the bartender who acted like a complete asshole/child: grow up and learn how to deal with your anger, I am sure that it has ruined many relationships in your life, and you probably spend a lot of your time wondering what happened… well, I think I have an idea of where things might go wrong; stop being a douche to people that don’t deserve it, and perhaps people will be affording of your feelings in return. Just a thought.
I can’t believe the audacity of people.
I worked in Midtown for years and LOVED the clientèle. I always treated people with utmost respect and with courtesy– as they decided to spend their time AND hard-earned money at my bar. I enjoyed my job, smiled a lot as I was always having fun with everyone, and tried my best to make everyone happy.
Seems like this bartender needs a new job, an attitude change, and some time to sit back and look at his reaction to situations. He is taking his job WAAAAAY to seriously… his time is THAT important that he can’t honor your request for a beer!? Be real Mr. Oscars bartender.
And then his over-the-top reaction is quite puzzling. Why come after you like that? If he’s so crunched for time that he can’t pop you a Miller Lite, how does he have time to hunt you down, make a spectacle of you, and follow you out the door ranting!?!?! Hmmm…
Anyhooo, appropriate customer service is treating clientèle with a sense of urgency, attention to detail, hospitality, and a smile. From the sounds of it, you certainly didn’t receive this– and I don’t blame you for not wanting to go back. However, isn’t that what the bartender wants? You should go back just to show him who has the upper hand and control in this situation
Debbie, exactly. If his response to my request would have been, “hey, can you hold on just a second?”, I would have waited. He initiated the confrontation, and even after I had walked away, he wanted to to continue it, even after I tried to diffuse it as he was yelling at me. What a fuck face, really.
I honestly couldn’t go back in there, because I felt myself start to get near the edge of control, and I didn’t want to end up slugging the fucker; as I was leaving, he kept waving his hand in my face. I seriously would have punched him had I gone back in.
I actually don’t blame you one bit for not going back ever again. That actually would be my reaction as well. I am not one for confrontations in the first place and if I were treated like this (AS A FREAKIN’ PAYING CUSTOMER) I certainly wouldn’t want to patronize the establishment or risk another awkward and infuriating confrontation.
How in the hell does this bartender earn any tips?
Kudos for keeping your cool. That takes great self control to not kick his ass.
Thumbs down to your friends would didn’t have your back. Were they just stunned from the assault from the bartender… too taken aback to react?
Yikes! I read that story and could hardly believe what had happened. Life never fails to continually prove over and over again my number one rule about people - People Are Stupid. Sorry you had to go through that. And sorry your friends didn’t leave with you. I would’ve had a few things to say to my friends if they simply let me leave on my own and not come along. What a completely crappy way to end your night. Ugh. Maybe a phone call or email to the manager/owner of the bar could help you get in the last word on that idiot…
I didn’t think the Machu Pichu experience could be topped. I’m really sorry this happened to you, it’s obvious the guy has some real personal issues. I think the friend thing would bother me most of all.
I hope the rest of your weekend was better.
A. You need to call the bar, ask to speak with the owner or manager and file a complaint against this guy. If you can, get a friend or two to do the same thing. There needs to be ramifications for this kind of thing.
B. If I am ever in Atlanta, we are going there so I can teach him a lesson. Gay men never expect me to pack as much punch as I do.
Thanks for the comments, the weekend was better after this happened, thankfully. I have given it some thought, and I am conflicted on whether to call the bar or not, because honestly, I just want to put this behind me. I don’t know what I will do, but I’ll keep you guys posted.
By calling, the bar is allowed the opportunity to know about and handle the insubordinate employee. If they never know, they can’t do anything about it.
The question is, will they do something with the information. I know a lot of places where the ornery and disruptive employees rule the roost– they are able to pull the strings because the management / owners feel they owe it to him / her or a group of customers really likes the employee so the owners are fearful of losing the employee or some other manipulative reason. I don’t think you should care if they discipline the employee since you’re never going back– at least you would have the peace of mind to know that you made the effort to inform the establishment of their abusive bartender.
I know you want to put it behind you BUT the situation fired you up enough to write in Twitter and on this blog about it, and with that said, if you don’t say anything, he may go off on another innocent and unsuspecting visitor and put a damper on his / her day as well.
Just my two cents : ) Have a great Monday!
Debbie, you make a damn fine argument!!! Thanks for the great advice all the way around.
I am with Sparky. I would call the owner. He needs to know that he has this creep working for him. I am sorry you had a bad experience.
Wow, Oscar sure is a Grouch. I’ve never been there and doubt I ever will. It’s the one for old farts, right?
Too bad you didn’t think to click a picture of him.
Burkhardt’s is fun, no? Don’t they still have pool tables upstairs?
WTF with your “friends”?