The season finale of Brothers and Sisters was magnificent. The wedding between Kevin and Scotty was gorgeous and touching. It was moving to see two men get married on TV, and it be treated as a joyous event. I couldn’t help but find it a bit fitting, though, that it aired on Mother’s day, and that Scotty’s parents refused to come to the wedding because of their beliefs.
My parents have never said it to my face, but I know they don’t “approve” of my life. It doesn’t really make sense, however, because my life is nothing they have the option to approve of or not; I am who I am, take it or leave it. I made the choice to be myself, and if you don’t like it, that is not my problem. I almost cried when they showed Scotty’s parents reacting the way they did; not because I felt bad for Scotty, even though I do. Mostly, I felt bad for his parents, and in the same way, I felt bad for mine. They are missing out on my life because of choices that they are making.
I called my mother today, and was only able to leave her a message. Same for my sister. Neither returned my call. My grandma talked to me for over and hour, and was elated that I called. I guess that you have to make choices in your life; we all do. They did, and so do I. And I have. Regardless of how they can burn sometimes when you think about them, getting to those decisions was hard enough, that you have to really stick by them. After all… you weren’t the only one that made a choice; you are just the one that made the choice to make yourself happy.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom… I hope it was great. It’s sad we can’t be more of a family, but I understand. I can’t change it, and I am okay with that. I have learned to live with it, and as such, I’ll move on like I always do. I hope you know that I love you, and that you know that I can’t change, and that I can only live my life for me at this point; so that’s what I am doing.
I am sorry to hear that your parents do not “approve” of your life (is if there is something to approve of). I really hope that they will once realize what they miss out on by taking this point of view.
You did the right thing by calling - that’s all you could do. I’m sure everyone was “busy” since your mom directed Eric’s wedding this weekend. Our weather was so bad yesterday and today that I didn’t call Grandma but it’s on the top of my list for tomorrow. I’m sure she went to my father’s last night - your mom and dad could have been there too??
Hope you are doing well and made it ok through the bad weather.
Steve and Wendy, as always, thank you for your great comments. I appreciate each and every one. Hey, it’s their loss, right?!
What do you think is the root of your parents’ feelings about you? In my case I think they are embarrassed in front of their friends and of constantly having to explain that they have an unmarried son with no kids. So over the last few years they have been distancing themselves from me, as if to get rid of me.
That was a very moving post. I have no words of wisdom, except to say that I agree that while you should keep moving on, you are taking the high road (by calling). That’s a graceful way to be.
Bugboy: to be honest, I don’t really know where it comes from. When I came out to them, they said that they were okay with it, but clearly, they are not. My first sign should have been when they didn’t want to talk about it ever again. Oh well, right? I’m sorry your parents are doing what they are doing. I just don’t understand why some people make the choices they do, but we can’t change them.
xo: Thanks man. That’s all that can be reasonably expected at this point, so far as I’m concerned.
When you say you made the choice to be yourself what do you mean? I’m guessing that the thing they disapprove of is your gay “lifestyle”. In which case it’s not a choice, right? You have no more control over being gay than a heterosexual has of being straight. Of course, I suppose you could be single and celibate which would be a choice. Would that make them happy?