I have been sitting here this morning, looking through some of the journals and blogs that I regularly follow, and spending time looking through many of those same people’s flickr collections, and I feel like I am watching my favorite program on television. I feel like I am seeing their interesting lives, and I find myself always wanting to know more.
A few of these people have a captivating quality to them, that I would say equates to me having “crushes” on them. It is like your favorite actor/actress that you would totally get with if you had the chance; only it isn’t as palpable as that. It is much more innocent and vague, poignantly less sexual, and often times, more interest driven. Handsome and attractive? Yes, they are, but that is not all that I like about them… there is so much more going on, and a lot of it, I don’t even know about; which is part of the thrill.
They are strangers, they are people that exist inside this little box that I look at day in and day out, and I don’t really know them at all. All I know is what I have seen, that which they choose to share, and I eagerly await new content and evidence that my favorite characters are doing well, and having a great life. I benefit from seeing that they have posted new pictures, or have uploaded new content; I want to know them, even though I really can’t on any level other than “through the internet”. Maybe someday? Who knows, but right now, this is fulfilling enough.
I often wonder, that if I have this type of relationship with the characters that I follow, does anyone follow me? If so, what is it about me that makes them keep coming back for more? Is it what draws me to them, the attraction, the interest, a fascination, and a captivation with life and how it is sometimes so different than my own?
Perhaps it is the anthropologist in me that I constantly seeking more and more, and who enjoys, and is so fulfilled by watching the world around him. More intensely, in this case, watching those in that little box that sits on my desktop, finding pictures, words, instances, and little bits of evidence to suggest that my favorite characters are doing well, and are keeping me company in the little way that they don’t even know that they are. Yes, it truly is intriguing to me what you have to say, and every time you post some pictures, I look forward to seeing how you are doing. I enjoy our time together, and look forward to more.
Oh My God! You just described my “crush” for you!!! I read you every day, with great anticipation. Look through your flickr photos, delving into your life with James, Sydney, all of your friends. I am in a sense, living through you in what seems like a fabulous, fascinating life. I know you have your issues just like everyone, but you certainly intrigue me. I wish that I still lived in Atlanta and we were friends. You seem to be a person that it would be a blast just to hang around the house, cook dinner, drink wine and simply have a good time simply being. You are that person to many people like others are to you. We are out here and we love you too!!! Peace.
Thomas, first of all, thanks! Second of all, it is good to know that I am not the only one out there, then!
I am so busted… but then again I am glad there are at least 2 others like me — you & Thomas.
A couple of things I can count on… it’s that you’ll have a fresh post most afternoons about the time that have a chance for a break at the coal mine AND that every few days, there will be some interesting FLIKR posts as well.
I guess if anything, it makes me sad that haven’t returned the favor by establishing a web presence to allow others to have a portal to my life….
CJG
This is nice to know and timely … the other week, I remember reading something here and thinking about whether or not it would be strange to comment that I kind of had one of these “crushes” on you. I can never word it correctly; kudos to you for giving one of the new Internet phenomena a good description. I think it has all sorts of interesting things to do with trying to define ‘friendship’ and ‘attraction’ and all those complex relationships we as humans can have with each other, in an online context, which we’ve never had to do before.
I’ve been reading several people’s blogs over the last couple of years and it’s always sad when entries just dry up, and even worse when the blogger shuts down his or her blog and says “goodbye, this is my last entry”. This has happened a lot lately. To use your analogy, it is like when a favorite tv show gets cancelled, but even worse in a way because with a blog you interact with the blogger and the other readers (like I’m doing now). Maybe I should get a real life!
CJG, no worries, you don’t have to reciprocate; just enjoy!
Jess, I totally agree; it can be weird sometimes when you are all “you’re like totally hot” in a comment or something, because you NEVER know how people are going to take it. Heaven forbid that they think you are a stalker just because you think that they are interesting or attractive. These internets are a weird thing, aren’t they?! Don’t worry, though, I am not one of those people; I am pretty much an open book, and I am open to most anything! Well, almost…
Simon, I don’t think that reading blogs means that you don’t have a life. I think that it is only natural to be interested in what other people are doing, and what they are saying. Some people even live for the limelight; and this is totally a good forum for them. One of my LJ friends chronicles everything, and it is neat to see all the adventures he goes through in daily life. Just don’t stop living your life, and I think everything will be a-okay!
No crush, but I find you interesting–both the issues in themselves you want to post about and what you say about them (and your follow ups to others). At least you have a dialog with people who respond, even if it is sometimes too temperamental (which I try not to take personally). There are some blogs where the arrogant little assholes don’t even respond, as if they don’t care about their own blogs.
The pictures you post are nice, but it’s all about your personality to me that draws my interest.
Plus, it’s nice that you are gay. I’ve gotten to the point that I’m really sick of straight people (had to chip in at work today for yet another fucking baby shower present).
I love ya man!!
i feel this post deeply (and the comments.) have often thought the same thing. blog crushes are a distinctly intimate relationship, yet very often they exist more in the readers mind than in reality. I have a feeling that many blogs get close to the actual person (but not quite their whole being). Like internet dating, imagination plays a big part in our crush, I wonder if we all met our blog crushes would they still be what we imagined?