If when arguing with someone, and you say something completely batshit crazy, and they say, hey, that’s completely batshit crazy, and then you resort to referring to the fact that they are struggling with depression as some sort of counter crazy argument, that pretty much makes you an asshole. It really highlights the fact that when you are wrong, and someone says that you are wrong, even if that person says it in a pissed off way, the only way you can make yourself feel better is to bring the other person down in the lowest way you can think of. That’s pretty pathetic if you ask me. I’ll admit that I say things pretty strongly, and sometimes out of anger, but I don’t attack people’s genuine medical issues. I’m just saying.
If you want to argue, argue the issues. If you think that I am wrong, tell me why, and back up your claim; don’t attack my depression, and say that I am crazy because I am depressed. Doing so makes you look like an insensitive asshole. But, perhaps that is what you are going for… who knows. All I know, is that I don’t have to put up with it. And, this may be news to you, but, believe it or not, A LOT of people agree with my views. In fact, we like to call them facts. If you don’t like that, go back to putting your head in the sand. Darling, frankly, I don’t give a damn.
(yes, I know that the person that I am talking about will read this, and probably have something smart assy to say, but like I said, it shows your true colors, man, and if that’s what you want for yourself, bring it.)
That reminds me of the people who say that folks who have any sort of mental health issues are unable to consent and should therefore be protected from themselves (read: infantilized). By, you know, people who clearly know them sooooo much better than they know themselves.
Why didn’t you title this post, “Dear Dave,”?
Unless it’s by way of apology.
For a minute I thought you were talking about yourself. You know, because you say the most batshit crazy things. Ever.
I usually don’t comment about the comments because I tend to be more non confrontational, but I really do think constantly bringing up Duane’s depression and therapy is total crap. And it does come across as an attack. I also think that the comment made about people commiting suicide and the bullet was inappropriate. I lost someone very close to me from suicide, and it still hurts to this day and I found the comment to be insensitive and hurtful. Depression is something that many of us deal with, and we deal with it in different ways. And maybe it clouds our opinions and maybe it doesn’t but it should not be used as a tool to hurt someone.
Duane, I for one am glad you can bring up your depression and talk about it. It makes someone like me who also has depression not feel so alone. It makes it OK that maybe we need therapy or medicine to help us through.
Argue about the points mentioned, yes. Argue about Bush, the war, whatever you want. But don’t attack someone for having clinical depression and having the courage to do something about it. That is just wrong.
Duane,
You’re right - people who argue with you are not entitled to bring up your mental health issues like that. It’s basically ad hominem, and as we all learned in high school debate (or at least I did) that’s attacking the person making the argument, not the substance of the argument. I think it’s specifically called “ad hominem abusive,” but let’s not split hairs - it’s just a way for people to show their butts.
Good on you for not letting it go by.
Doug, since this post was directed at me, I’ll take your “constantly bringing up Duane’s depression and therapy” line as referring to my comments on this site. I don’t believe I’ve ever brought up duane’s therapy in a comment until yesterday. That hardly equates to “constantly.” You = douche.
In regards to you finding my bullet comment on the suicide post “insensitive and hurtful,” grow a pair. Does that mean any joke about death is now off limits? Lighten up… Obviously this person you lost was fucked in the head. Could getting help have kept them from killing themself? Maybe. Who the fuck cares though? That’s one psycho off the streets. Why do people find so much value in the life of others, especially when that other person doesn’t find value in their life themself?
The world ain’t easy. Buck up and take it on or cry like a sniveling baby in the corner. It’s your choice… just don’t expect me to join you in the corner simply because you’re too big of a pussy to get over everyday shit.
Nikki (and duane I guess), duane said I was completely insane or something to the effect. He has no basis for that other than his on emotions. I said he goes to therapy. A fact as he’s stated on this site. That’s not an attack. That’s a statement of fact. duane has attacked me view and opinions as well as chastised me for my social and economic class. Why is that allowed but my comments not?
All of you are a bunch of whiney babies.
Good for you, Duane. When I read those comments I was astounded that he went there. I’m glad you addressed it. To equate clinical depression with insanity or weakness of mind is ignorant and offensive.
When during a debate or discussion, one person stoops to the level of personal attack, then to me it just shows a tendency to revert to playground tactics, rather than intelligent debate.
How pathetic.
I agree completely. duane please apologize for personally attacking me by calling me insane.
Ditto Jim’s comment…which dpb is proving over and over again…
You’re absolutely right Deb. duane never personally attacked me. I’m all at fault.
Just wanted to say, Doug, that I see this as one of the major strengths of blogging: the reduction of stigma. Yes, people have always been able to choose to talk about things that society tells them they should be ashamed of; but obviously, the internet gives us a (potentially) much wider reach. You never know who’s reading and not commenting… somebody out there who’s stayed silent might have found something they read on a blog immensely helpful.
I got over the stigma associated w/ mental health issues awhile ago, and I intend to keep talking about it for as long as that stigma persists. I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression. I’ve been on medication for almost 10 years. I was once hospitalized. And here I am… completely capable of making my own decisions, and not ashamed in the least.
I think I’m due an apology from Duane for that one inappropriate, misplaced, and defamatory “wow”.
I probably owe Bugboy an apology for insulting him at various junctures in prior threads. I meant it in a “Jane, you ignorant slut” tone, but without voice inflection or body language, internet conversations never come off as you mean them. Plenty a flippant or sarcastic comment has bitten me in the ass before.
I think there is a difference between, “Dude, you’re crazy. X and Y are why I disagree with you,” and “Well, your ass is in therapy for your oft-referenced depression.”
Nikki, I did not say, “Well, your ass is in therapy for your oft-referenced depression.” I simply stated that I did not therapy to get through the week. I see a difference in the two, do you not?
Not really, no. The connotation is, so far as I’m concerned, the same. Admittedly that is influenced by my observation that you are generally pretty combative.
Okay. So I thought you (Duane) were the one bringing up depression. But someone else bringing it up is kinda asshattish.
That doesn’t mean its out of bounds. Depression does color a person’s thinking. Sometimes friends need to call friends on that.
But it doesn’t sound like that’s what happened.
Nikki, ok.
Justin…apology accepted.
He denigrates overweight people. He advocates the mass-killing of Mexican immigrants (he’ll claim he’s talking about illegal aliens, as if the hail of machine-gun fire he recommends paused to check papers). He “jokes” about raping women. He frequently denigrates women.
But boy did that Dave cross the line when he made fun of you for going to therapy!
Often, we criticize others because we see in them a weakness that we see in ourselves. Depression, in the eyes of some, is a weakness; however, it is only a weakness in those who are apt to sweep it under the rug and refuse to take it by the proverbial balls. You clearly are addressing this condition which is commendable, but perhaps it makes “some people” (see how politically correct I can be, too) uncomfortable because the issue is closer to them than they want to recognize.
Some choose to live their lives. I mean really live their lives. Some choose to hide behind a facade and attack what they fear.
The latter of the two should think before they blog not because it earns them the notoriety of being an asshole, but because it will bring them to a better understanding of why they attack others.
Consequence of such an action = not being an asshole
Andy, thank you for adding a little perspective to these simpletons.