I have been giving a lot of thought as to what has been going on here for the past couple of days, as well as what has transpired over the past few weeks, and I have to say, I am getting quite fed up with feeling like I have to constantly defend myself with everything that I say. Point being, that I have made some decisions regarding this blog, as well as decisions regarding what I am willing to put up with in the future. I have made these decisions, because before a couple of months ago, I actually enjoyed blogging, and now it has become a complete and utter nuisance, because I know, that no matter what I say, there will be someone who feels like it is their right to come around here and fuck it all up.
Now, I know that I can ignore those people, and go about my business as usual, but honestly, I don’t think that I should have to. I am the one that pays for the hosting service and the domain name duanemoody.com. I am the one that uploaded wordpress, and tweaked the style to be how I like it. I am the one that wrote all of the content, including the “non-blog” stuff. So, as far as I can tell, this is my space on the internet. This is my home. And, I am sick and tired of letting people come over to my home and shit on the floor. I am not going to continue yelling at these people for shitting on the floor; I am going to kick them the fuck out of my house, and clean up the shit and move on.
If you don’t like what I have to say, fine. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. The opinion represented here is mine. It is what I think. It is based on facts that I have discovered, my worldview, and my knowledge. I am fine with people disagreeing with me, and again, I welcome arguments and debate. But, what I will no longer tolerate, is fucking assholes who think that they have the right to just come in my home and do whatever they want, which over the past few weeks, has focused on belittling me, striving to get a rise out of me, and only seeking to piss me off for the sake of fulfilling their own sick pleasure. If you want to debate about something that I have said, debate it. Don’t go round and round talking shit about me and everything that I believe. If you do, you might as well stay outside, and walk to someone else’s house, because you are no longer welcome here. Additionally, along the same vein, it would be in your best interest to focus on debating what I am talking about if you want a response from me, because continually using broad issues and things that aren’t related to what I am talking about as a retort will fall on deaf ears. I will simply point out that you are not talking about the issue, and will move on. If the debate does steer in that direction, fine, but don’t expect me to just listen to constant generalizations and all or nothing arguments. It has gotten old.
I feel I must address this, because I know there are several all or nothing arguers out there, so here it is: While I don’t believe in censorship, I do believe in limits. Since this website is MINE, and only mine, then I don’t have to put up with bullshit anymore. And quite frankly, I can’t believe that I did for so long. Any challenges as to why I have made these decisions, and the subsequent steps mentioned above, will be met with the utmost contempt. If you find any action that I take to prevent something I enjoy doing in my own home from becoming fodder for someone else to attack, belittle, or demean, then you are completely missing the point of this statement, and my actions. I will not silence the voice of anyone that disagrees with me, but I reserve the right to completely eliminate the presence of someone that uses hateful, demeaning, continually negative, and downright inflammatory comments to try and “prove me wrong” or to simply provoke a response from me. If you could actually prove me wrong, I wouldn’t need to retort, because I would be convinced by the facts. Please keep this in mind when commenting in the future. And just to note, I have only deleted 2 comments EVER from this blog, and both were deleted last week. I don’t foresee many more comments being deleted, so long as everyone can abide by my simple principle of treating me with respect, and not being an asshole while you are in my online home.
If you want to continue to be invited into my home, come to play. Come to have a great time. Come to laugh. Come to debate. Come to share your opinions. But don’t come in, shit on my floor, and not expect me to kick your ass to the curb. Because if you are expecting me to look the other way, and yell at your over and over as I have done in the past, you might as well stay away. This is pretty much the only warning I feel to be necessary at this point, so know that this policy is in effect from here on out.
This is the only way that I can see to prevent me from quitting blogging all together, but I honestly wouldn’t want want to give up something I enjoy, just because a few people are assholes to me. I have also noticed that it is those few that tend to drive away other readers and commenters, and that is something that I have taken into consideration in this mandate. I am not going to stand for that anymore, either. I do hope that everyone has a great afternoon, and I hope to see you soon; but please remember the new policy is actively in effect. I appreciate your time and attention on this matter.
Interestingly enough, exactly this came up in conversation Saturday night at dinner. Congrats on making a decision Duane. I’ve only had to enforce my own policy on this matter once, but I fear you may have to do so a few times to get your point across. And then, don’t fear! People who insist upon clashing with you over this will talk shit about you elsewhere. It would be great if that mattered, though, right?
The censorship thing has always been, and continues to be, a glaring bright red herring.
Your blog isn’t a government building. Therefore,complaints about free speech are completely, laughably irrelevant.
Last Thursday you wrote:
“I am literally grinning from ear to ear this morning from all of the love that you, atlmalcontent, continually bestow upon me. I am truly flattered, and that is why I wanted to write this little thank you post to you, my one-derful, devoted fan.”
and this:
“Whatever you say or do with regards to me, or anything you like to believe about me, doesn’t do anything to me other than flatter me, to think that I am worthy of such attention.”
Today you wrote:
“But, what I will no longer tolerate, is fucking assholes who think that they have the right to just come in my home and do whatever they want, which over the past few weeks, has focused on belittling me, striving to get a rise out of me, and only seeking to piss me off for the sake of fulfilling their own sick pleasure.”
So which is it?
*checks to see if anyone is looking*
*shits on the floor*
*runs away*
Knock,Knock….can I come in? I love your house rules - maybe the guest will play nicer now!!
Andy, it is clear to me, but apparently not to you, that everyone has a line. Atlmalcontent crossed the line, and it is even more clearly defined by the fact that everything before that line remains. If he crosses it again, he will dealt with accordingly, as will anyone else who crosses it.
I don’t understand why you fail to see that there are limits, varying degrees on different issues, and that there are different places you can fall on a spectrum. That is the case here. He insulted me on his blog because of his obsession with me. I noted it. I let him go on and on about it here (which in hindsight, may have been adding fuel to the fire). Then, he crossed a line, was a complete asshole, and, as such, was banned. There should be no confusion as to why I took the steps I took; but if you are still confused, I don’t know what to do, other than ask you why does it even matter to you, since this is my blog? If I want to ban someone for saying sasquatch, I can, so it doesn’t matter either way; even though, it is clear that in the beginning, it was much less hateful than when the line was crossed and I decided to ban his comments.
duane, Andy likes to point out contradictions. It’s a simple as that.
Also, you have every right to ban/censor people on your blog. It’s your blog… but just as your unwavering views/opinions on politics and whatnot draws so much heat, so will your decision to ban/censor people.
No dave, it isn’t simple as that, as there is no contradiction here. Again, it is the difference between saying things that don’t bother me, and then crossing the line into things that are hateful and do bother me. I am not putting up with the latter. I just wish that this wasn’t something that was this difficult to differentiate.
Additionally, I am not being contradictory; I have never banned anyone before, and now that I did, I justified it, and said that it will be the policy from here on out. Again, it was about him crossing a line. I thought that I made that pretty clear, and it is even more clearly evidenced by the fact that everything before the line was crossed remains.
It’s all about lines and limits people, not contradictions.
I’m shocked that there’s anyone in this world (or other worlds) that doesn’t like you?
Has this Malcontent ever met you in person or is this purely a blogfight?
Duane, I think your approach to all of this has been entertaining and I hope you find a happy solution to banning/moderating that ensures you continue having fun in this space.
Seth, we “met” at one of the APWBWGTTD meet ups a long time ago. By meet, I mean he was introduced, and sat at one end of the table, while I was at the other. We don’t really know each other, other than through our blogs; which one should recognize is only a fraction of what makes up a person. So, it has been exclusively a “blogfight”.
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Seth. I shall blog on!
Duane, you need an Irish Car Bomb…
And screw the creep who keeps being an ass to you. It’s your blog!!! Disagreements are one thing but insulting you is just MEAN.
Peace out.
Today: “We don’t really know each other, other than through our blogs; which one should recognize is only a fraction of what makes up a person.”
Last week: “My statements about his self-loathing come directly from his blog. But, what you neglect to acknowledge, is that he completely exhibits these qualities to at in all of his writing.”
So, even though you can see “only a fraction up a person” through their blogs, you still insist that ATLMalcontent is “self-loathing” based solely on his writing?
Why do you think it that you can construct a complete picture of someone through their writing, but that others can see only a fraction of you through your writing?
Andy, first of all, I want to know if you saw the question I asked you earlier, and to build on that; why do you feel the need to police my blog? I am well aware of what I say, and yet, you feel the need to point out what you find contradictory. Why do you feel the need to do this on my blog?
Second, what you are doing is not pointing out inconsistency, or contradiction, it is jumping to conclusion, based on two statements that are taken out of context and applied to other out of context information.
I never said that I knew atlmalcontent past the blogosphere. I never even hinted that I did. In fact, I explicity have said time and again, that I didn’t. That should be enough to debunk this latest attempt to show that I am contradicting myself, but I will address your entire claim, so that you get the point.
When I said that I called atlmalcontent self-loathing, it was based solely on his writings from his blog. I still feel that way about him, because of, and only because of, his writings on his blog. I never suggested otherwise. If you inferred that from what I wrote, you have misinterpreted what I have said, and what I meant.
I don’t know him past his blog, and would never make generalizations about him outside of the blogosphere. That being said, I do, however, recognize that we do at least in part represent some part of ourselves on our blogs, and atlmalcontent is exhibiting what I can see to clearly be self-loathing behavior. This behavior is consistently delivered through his writings, as interpreted by myself, so one could surmise, that there is at least a part of him that is this way, as is represented on his blog. If I consistently talked down about everything to do with the “gay establishment”, yet, I myself identified myself as a member of the very community I was condemning, I am sure that one would assume that I had self-loathing tendencies as well. I don’t think that it was, or is, that far of a stretch. But does it mean that he is like that in real life? Who knows. I hope for his sake he is not as jaded as that, but again, not my call. I am tired of focusing on him.
In reality, he may be a happy-go-lucky, totally sweet guy, but I don’t know that guy. You of all people should be able to realize that I am fully capable of looking past who someone represents themselves as on their blog, and even more, that I don’t fully construct a complete picture of someone based solely on their blogs. I say this, because I am pretty sure that you know that dave and I are actually quite good friends in real life, yet in the blogosphere, we have bumped heads on issues more than once.
I hope that for the future, you will refrain from trying to prove inconsistencies and contradictions in what I write, unless they are actually there. Pulling things out of context, and then jumping to conclusions about what I actually meant does neither of us any good. As I said in this very post, I am tired of feeling like I have to defend what I have said to people that are not focused on what I actually said.
Damn, it smells like gasoline in here…=)
To claim that I pulled words out of context is ludicrous. Those words are from your blog. This is your blog. That’s about as “in context” as a quotation can be.
Secondly, I’m not policing your blog. I’m asking you questions about what you’ve written. You can always ignore me, disable comments, or ban me.
Thirdly, the inconsistency and hypocrisy is undeniable. In one paragraph, you assert that someone cannot be known by their writing alone. In another, you make a sweeping, deeply personal generalization about someone you only know from a blog. You cannot logically believe both assertions are true.
It’s no wonder you’re tired. You’re trying to defend the indefensible.
I think your (infantile) frustration comes at least partially from being proven wrong. You really have a gripe with people who disagree with you, and putting your wrongness back in your face is obviously something you can’t take. You need character development. Nursing might be good for you. Serving the general population might change your awful temperament.
Duane,
Gosh, I really hate to see you so upset. I know how upsetting some people can be, and if they hurt your feelings I guess it is better just to ban them and delete their comments. It IS your blog. And I would really hate to see you stop blogging because you have an interesting voice and an interesting take on things and I like to hear what you have to say. I have to say that I do sometimes find all this arguing upsetting. It brings up so many negative feelings and sometimes I have to stop reading because it makes me sad when people treat each other this way. We should be able to disagree and still get along. But anyway, I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your blog and love reading it, so I hope you stick around.
So Andy, anything and everything I say on my blog is in context just because I said it? That is complete and utter lunacy! You did take those things in particular out of context, and then went further into jumping to conclusions with the assumption that I was negating myself; when in fact, you neglected to look at the entire context in which I framed each of those similar, yet different statements.
Again, it seems that you are the one that has the problem with understanding and comprehending what I am actually saying; rather than taking the bits and pieces you want to look at for the purpose of jumping to a conclusion that I am negating myself. If you don’t look at the fact that I never said that what I determined about atlmalcontent was about anything other than his writing, and then equate that with what I said about not being able to determine the entirety of someone from their blog, then you are less able to comprehend what I am saying than I thought you were. I sincerely thought you were better able to handle it, but I guess you are not.
Again, if you are coming to prove me wrong, you actually have to do it, rather than repeat two similarly related statements that contradict one another out of context, but in context, make complete sense. Just because you classify the context as “anything I write on my blog”, doesn’t make it so in the real context of what I was saying. If you want to prove that I am indeed inconsistent, you would be able to use two examples of the same thing, not similarly related things, to prove your point, but, as I see by your continuing to try and use unequal statements to prove your point, you cannot find equating statements that truly create an inconsistency.
I am totally fine with you calling me out if I am being inconsistent, or if I am being hypocritical, because I personally hate the thought of being either; but when you try to do so with statements that, while are related, are not directly related, and in addition, take on different meaning when out of context, you prove that you are the one that is incorrect, and not I.
Bugboy, you are one of the very reasons I wrote this post. You are toeing the line, and that is the only warning about it you will receive. If you come back and a comment is gone, I wouldn’t be surprised, if I were you; you continually try to prove you are right by bringing me down (infantile? Please.). I suggest that you go back to the way you were initially when you started coming to my blog; actually having substance and actually debating with facts, rather than just yelling, “you’re wrong” and then ending with some insult.
And how brazenly asshole-ish of you to make these statements. Who the fuck do you think you are? You don’t know me, and the more that you dig yourself into your little hole, convincing yourself that you are the “czar of right” that you think that you are, you will go further and further away from seeing who I truly am, and understanding that it is not that I have a problem with people proving that I am wrong; so long as they can actually prove it (which again, you have failed to do). Again, this is you last warning, my friend. Stop toeing the line, or you will get kicked out of the house.
Additionally, thanks to everyone that had kind comments, I want you to know that they all mean a lot to me, and even though I haven’t addressed you personally as I have those challenging me and my positions, don’t think that I don’t appreciate what you have said. Because I do, yo.
Well you have said, over at least the past few weeks, some incredibly nasty things about me, and you know it. So it looks like to me you are guilty about the exact same behavior you are complaining about. Of course it’s your blog you can do what you want, but that might explain some of the reactions you get from people.
I think I give out insults as I get them. If you can show me an example to the contrary I’d like to see it. I think if you look back recently OBJECTIVELY you will see some quite nasty things directed at me (by you).
And if I didn’t know you I couldn’t get under your skin now could I?
Also, I’m not convinced you really know what “toe the line” means. You have no idea how amusing you are.
“I suggest that you go back to the way you were initially when you started coming to my blog; actually having substance and actually debating with facts…”
Facts weren’t very well received, I might add.
Bugboy, can you stop being so self-centered for one second, and realize that this is about what I am willing to tolerate on MY blog, and has little to nothing to do with what YOU have experienced? 99% of what I have said to you is in response to what you have said, so kettle, can you please quit pointing out that I am a pot? It would be much appreciated.
And you are wrong. Your initial comments were about Jimmy Carter’s book, and it was your comments that changed my opinion; enough so that I wrote a post retracting what I said. If that isn’t enough for you, you are never going to be satisfied here, so don’t bother coming back if it doesn’t work for you. I am tired of your games.
Bugboy, fuck you. Don’t come back, asshole. You apparently don’t want to follow the simple rules that I laid out, so consider yourself kicked out of my house.
Man, I thought it would be at least 24 hours before I had to enforce it, but you can’t stop pushing the issue! God, you seriously need a hobby.
The words are all there for people to read, excerpted or in the original form. Let’s just leave it at that.
wow duane, off the deep end much? What explicitly did Bugboy do to get banned? I’ve said much worse to you in person and we clink glasses and have a drink.
Bugboy, you’re welcome to comment all you want on my blog, although my posts aren’t nearly as asinine as those here. I’ve been reduced to talking about nose hairs after all. Censoring one’s self is way harder than censoring everyone else.
dave, he just wouldn’t stop. I don’t know what it is, but some people just keep pushing and pushing, and he pushed me over the edge. You’re right, I did go off the deep end, and I emailed him to let him know that he isn’t banned from commenting, but that one comment was what I was referring to. It was insulting, and exactly what the post was addressing.
And yes, you are right, we disagree, and argue, but you never demean me in the way that some of my commenters do. You and I have a mutual respect for one another that comes across clearly when we hang out as well. I know that if I tell you to stop doing something because it is hurting me, you do. That is why we can hang out and be friends. I am glad of that too.
He demeans everyone else, but he’s nice to you, so he’s okay.
everyone else? Come now Andy, that’s quite a blanket statement is it not? I don’t “demean” everyone else. I’m very selective in who I poke fun of.
I think Andy might have a hard-on for you, Dave!
Duane, don’t let these comments get the best of you. I know you feel you should defend yourself but at the cost of total annoyance? Relax and keep doing what you do!
I wouldn’t go that far BooBoo but I’m certain he’s trying to get a rise out of me. BA-DUM-BUM!
LOL!!! OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Bada Bing!!!!
Andisheh, I’m curious about why you needling Duane about something that has absolutely nothing to do w/ you…?
Above, that should’ve read “why you keep needling Duane.”
Duane…another fight…and I just came at the end of it again!!
I’m going to have to disagree with you for once in my life…the internet is a big old house that everyone lives in. The internet is a big field and you have built a stage to stand upon and say what you want to anyone in the field. You have no doors or walls on this stage, i.e. no passwords to access your blog, so people can see right up on stage and hear everything you say, that and that alone gives anybody the right to say whatever they want to whomever they want. Now I don’t promote people being mean at all and I reiterate that you and malcontent are destined to be future lovers, but unless you censor and build those walls and doors upon the stage, duanemoody.com is a free forall for whomever wants to sand up on that stage with you.
You can either ignore them or you can push them off the stage and go your merry way…
By the way…I graduated…We are now both Masters….
Oh…and I remember when you started this blog, we started them together and you used to have so much fun…lifes to short…
Seriously, I just found 3 typos in the above posting…
My Professors would be so upset with me
Jason, congrats on the degree! FINALLY!!
Also,
Yeah, but the point of this post, is that I don’t have to put up with people shitting in my house. They can come in, but I can certainly ask them to leave if they get rowdy and mess on my carpet. All I am asking is for people to exercise a bit of restraint when it comes to insulting the owner of this site. Nothing big, but something that was apparently necessary for me to say.
I agree with you, I just think that its a unrealistic expectation in dealing with something that is as open as the internet. And I think the house analogy is bad, you don’t invite anyone, anyone can access your site, like a public toilet, and believe me I’ve been in some public toilets that people did a lot of shitting in. So until you can limit who comes onto your site, like people invited into your house, people are always going to be less than exceptional, especially with someone who puts out their feelings as much as you do on this blog.
That being said….I know…Graduation!!!!! Back in DC now, interviewing for a dev. job in Jamaica…how sweet would that be.
Miss ya, call me sometime.
Jason, I think you are missing the point of the post;
This IS my house, and yes, anyone can come in; but I can control what they do, and what they leave here. That is the only point.
Amber - Comments are enabled on this web site presumably because the author wants readers to respond.
Not to put words in Amber’s textfield, but I think she’s curious about your motives. We know you have means and opportunity through the open comments.
And after all, we’re all just digital looky-loo’s, per your recent column:
I may be in need of a rectal-cranial inversion, but it sure is FUN!
I guess my response to that duane is who wants to go to a house with a bunch of rules…sometimes I like to put my feet on the couch, drink oj straight out of the carton and have sex without sheets on the bed….
Seth, I read that entry he made as well, and I didn’t realize that there was a specific rule of thumb regarding blogs, and I especially didn’t realize that those of us that dare use our own personal websites to discuss things about ourselves made us neurotic or self-obsessed; in fact, I kind of thought that was the fucking point of having the personal blog in the first place.
I guess that little jab was at all of us that dare use our blogs as personal weblogs, to ponder our own things. Perhaps we should be doing that which the “upper crust” does; sit around and poke fun at everyone else.
Gah.
I bet things were a little borning at dm.com & Duane created atlmalcontent & bugboy to represent his alter-ego…
It’s probably all a publicity stunt… surely this helped with readership and comment stat’s…
“…sometimes I like to put my feet on the couch, drink oj straight out of the carton and have sex without sheets on the bed….”
Jason, call me ; -)