Also, condoms… I would go with trojan every time!!! But, those joe lube ones are supposed to be cool; and they are made here in ATL!

And what brand of condoms

Only knowing you through this web portal & the limited number of comments I make here (plus no blog) handicaps you in understanding the way I communicate… so take this with a grain of salt, but understand it to be sincere…

This might be painful to read… but are you really so sure that it’s not your own insecurities Duane that throw off your perception of the intent of James’ question?

Your site is threaded with admission of your insecurities in different areas of your life… there was even a recent post about wanting to do your own thing sometimes instead of hanging out with James (a healthy need)…

In summary, I think James asked an honest question & in turn you reassured him of a very positive thing — you preferred to spend & enjoy that time with him. Unfortunately, the fact that he asked left a sour taste in your mouth…

Now another “salt” statement — be glad he asked you instead of running with misconceptions… suck it up, be a big boy & enjoy what you have with James… not all of us are so lucky…. there are probably some great ways out there to deal with those doubts that a professional could help out with..

And how about passing my e-mail address along to bugboy? I might not be able to recognize him amongst all the guys that will now hit the bars, passing out rubbers…

And handing out condoms is a great way to meet people! You already start the sex talk when you hand them a rubber!!!

Mistrust? What you are characterizing as mistrust, I see as devotion. All of those things above show concern on some level for you. I can understand your feelings, as sometimes things people say can hit you the wrong way, especially when it involves questioning your feelings for him. But it looks to me like he made an itty bitty slip up. So quit dwelling (quit CHOOSING to dwell?) inside this negativity about the whole thing.

Imagine if you had slipped up and said something similar to him. Would he be reacting the same way? How would you want him to react?

Anyway, I guess you’re suggesting I walk around a bar and hand out condoms, eh? Hell, it’s worth a shot.

I met James at a bar, where I was working as a HIV specialist handing out condoms. He came over and talked to me about helping his kids (as he is a teacher), and we developed a friendship from there. We became friends because I was dating someone when we met, and then about 8 months later, we just started dating. We have been together almost 3 and 1/2 years, so I guess I picked the right friend to go further with! So I guess, looking at your friends might be a place to start (if they share the same feelings… which I knew he did before I made a move)? Other than that, I don’t think there is a “place” necessarily to meet people. BUT, if I were single, I would probably try meeting people online, as I have made some very GREAT friends through meeting people online. Just a thought.

And yes, “man in question” aka, James, I do love you. I wrote this because I do love you so much, that my frustration and hurt would not equal hate and retaliation. I accept your apology, and hope that you will trust my love and action in the future; because I do love you very much.

I guess it’s just a matter of perspective. Your complaints really pale to loneliness. My suggestion to you is to snap out of the self-absorption and enjoy all of the things that you have. Go buy that boy a bouquet of roses and box of Godiva chocolates and tell him exactly how you felt as you spent the day with him!!! RUN!!!

Also…if you don’t mind my asking…how did you meet each other? What do you consider good places/techniques to find someone (who isn’t a druggie or loser)? I ask because I’d love to find someone who cares about what I am feeling so I can have the same “problems” you have.