In light of today’s NJ supreme court decision to recognize same-sex unions, I would like to think that this is just one more symbol of hope that one day it will really happen for us in this country. I know that it has happened and subsequently been overturned in other states, and is still up for discussion in others (including NJ, pending further legislature decision), but even baby steps give me hope. And hope is a big thing, no matter how small it is.
Also, given that I did end up disagreeing with many people about the billboard (even though I do agree they deserve their free speech, just as long as it doesn’t attempt to spread hate… but then again, that is my opinion, and I am fine with people not sharing it), it is good to see that there are some positive things happening for the gay community in this country; even in the presence of those attempting to denounce and change us. While I know that it is definitely the minority that continually try and push us down and feel inferior by demeaning us and taking away our rights, we can keep striving for equality, and sometimes see a glimpse of it. And that is hope, no matter how many times it comes around, or how small it is; just so long as it does.
I just want there to be a time in my life where I can hold my partner’s hand, walk down the street with wedding bands on, and truly be recognized as a legitimate couple. I want us to be able to see each other in the hospital without a piece of paper giving us the right to. If one of us dies, I want our property to be passed to that person without them having to pay taxes on it, because our union would recognize that it was theirs to begin with. That is my hope.
I just want us to keep moving forward. And the joy in the picture that CNN used in the article discussing the decision says it all; we just want the opportunity to be together, and to honestly be left alone. I just want a life with my partner, and for he to have a life with me… hell, we may even increase the marriage success rates!!! (we hope, right?!)
I do agree they deserve their free speech, just as long as it doesn’t attempt to spread hate.
The problem is that you’re going to have a hard time convincing anyone that a religious group as large and influential as Focus on the Family is trying to spread hate.
I don’t have to convince anyone… they are, and hopefully, people can see that. If not, there isn’t much I can do. I have learned that people that are so entrenched in religious views tend to put on blinders to anything that can’t be explained by the “will of God”. I would do just as much good as talking to my desk and asking it to make me a sandwich (and should expect the same results).
Something I thought of today… Instead of pushing for the gov’t to “allow” same sex marriage, why don’t you encourage straight people to get civil unions instead of getting married? After a while, when marriages are on the decline and civil unions are on the upswing, politicians will realize how stupid they’ve been.
Personally, I’m sick of seeing same sex marriage in the headlines. As you know, I just don’t give a shit about it. I don’t know why people (straight or gay) are so concerned with the gov’t “recognizing” a commitment between two people. Who cares?
So for me, this would be a win/win situation. On one hand, gay and straight would be establishing their commitment to one another theh same way via civil union thereby making both orientations equal. On the other hand, politicians can focus on more important issues … like banning abortion. Just kidding. But seriously, I would much rather our gov’t worry more about bigger issues than the definition of marriage.
MY HOME STATE!
Because of the automatic advantages that come with marriage, such as the ability to stay with a spouse in the hospital and make decisions as “next of kin,” to use two of MANY examples. There are additional benefits involving taxation, property ownership, adoption, and so on.
dave, this is why we care:
Those things are automatic as soon as you say “I do”.
An excellent - full of hope - post, Duane. I guess I’m like most of our homo brethren… when I feel we’ve been completely beaten down, a small ray of hope shines through.
That is what I have proposed all along: that the govt. gets out of the marriage business. Civils unions for gays and straights, and those religious types get their civil unions blessed or sanctified or whatever it is they need to do in their churches or other houses of superstition.
I was listening to Michael Savage on the radio last night. He was ranting on about Jim McGreevy and the homosexual legacy he left in the NJ govt. and blaming him for the decision. I’m not a big fan of McGreevy, but if it’s true then I say “Thanks, Jim”.
Amber, I guess my point is why should there be any benefits to marriage? What reason is there to have tax breaks for married people? What benefit do married people bring to society that they should receive something that a single person does not?
I can see your point on the “next of kin” thing, but property? taxes? please…
Oh, and duane:
Ever heard of a marriage license? It’s a piece of paper that married couples must have.
Yes, I’ve heard of one, but it isn’t very expensive to get a marriage license, and it isn’t contestable, since it is upheld by the government; while our legal documents technically can be challenged. It goes without saying that what we have is in no way equivalent. We had to go to a lawyer a pay over $1k to get 3 rights to protect us from being screwed, and it barely even covers us. I’m just saying I want the same rights. That’s all.
Dizzy…
I hear ya’ buddy. But if you can do all of those things and they’re legal ways to get around it (civil unions involving legal recognition and such), why do you need it? I’m not asking why you want it, or why anyone wants it… but why do you ‘need’ it? When the fairy tale doesn’t work out quite like it does in a children’s story book (which is always), then you make your own happy ending. It seems to me like you and your man are knocking it out. It’s just one more thing to focus negativity on when the reality is you don’t need it, you just want it. And that’s a huge difference.
Now, that said… I want it too. But I will not long for it.
xo
Uhm… duane… that was my point. Fighting the uphill battle of getting same sex marriage legalized, why not encourage straight couples to get civil unions instead of marriage. Did you read my comment or just disagree with me immediately on principle?
I didn’t disagree with you on principle, but it seems that you don’t see the rights of the married as fair either, and so eliminating them would be the solution; when what I want is the rights of the married; they are good rights!
My problem is I see the rights of the married infringing on my rights as a single person.
dave, I do fully understand and definitely respect that. Trust. I would like to see some reform go into passing of property, rights over health decisions and other things like that too; so we don’t need marriage to protect us. Until then, all I can hope for is those marriage rights…