This is getting old. This is making me tired. I am tired of fighting this. I have been fighting for so long, that I just feel utterly exhausted, yet this is still here. This is strong, and this works hard to stay around, despite my efforts to get rid of this. This does come and go, and there are days when I don’t focus on this, but for every one of those, there is another day consumed with this in the future. This makes me want to stay in bed all day, everyday. This makes it hard for me to concentrate on anything other than this. This isn’t working for me anymore. I am tired of fighting this. This is getting old. I have gotten really good at smiling despite the presence of this. Most people probably don’t even see this when they look at me, which I guess is good, because I don’t want this to completely ruin everything. I just wish I could push this out, and close the door, but I can’t. This is too big. This is too strong. This just won’t go away. But, this is getting old. This has got to go, or I don’t know what I will do. I can’t take much more of this. I am not letting this win, so don’t worry about that. I just am sick and tired of this.
Editor’s note: Just because this affects me, doesn’t mean that this owns me. This does not have me seeking harm for myself, in fact, this makes me want to help myself. Since I am already helping myself deal with this, there is no need for you to worry about this (even though it is kind). This was my effort to put this into words, in hopes it would make me feel better. This was just a bad day, and perhaps tomorrow will be a better one.
THIS runs in the family and you have to either seek help or IT will consume you - I know this because IT almost consumed me…call me tonight or a little later - I have to finish cutting grass before it rains!!
Just remember that THIS is not stronger than YOU. I know you will get through THIS as well, and Dandrew will be by yourside. Call us if you need ANYTHING!! We are here for you. Great love.
Dandrew
Well I think I have more than an inkling of what it is you are talking about.
Let’s get together next weeke and discuss.
I will be back in Atlanta the 26th - the 28th for some courtship from Emory.
Text me yo digits from my profile on LJ.
I find THIS post more than a little disturbing.
Once I finally reached the point of overcoming THIS, I was faced with THAT. Yeesh.
Mine is more of an IT. It is trying to kill me. It is making me nuts. It drives me to distraction. I don’t think I will ever totally deal with it.
But I am thinking of you and hope you feel better.
Okay 2 things
First when I read the comment that said IT… i automatically read it as I.T. Department….that doesn’t make sense.
Second, are you on meds and or seeking help?
Joe, yep, and yep.
I don’t know what your “this” is, but we’ve all got one. Or two.