This post has the potential to be an ongoing subject of something that I think about nearly 100 times a day (or maybe even more); attraction and sex. Basically, being that I am a guy, and guys TEND to be very visually oriented when it comes to things like sex and attraction, I find myself constantly walking by the window of different stores, and peering in at merchandise I find very appealing. Now, since I only have a credit card to one specific store, I only shop there, but it doesn’t mean I am not able to look at other things that stimulate me visually. (In case you missed that, it was a relationship metaphor, I only look, and never touch.)
But, that doesn’t stop my attraction (without action). I have to say, that I would probably just be content sitting and looking at people that I find attractive practically all day long. In fact, any people watching works for me, but specifically, when I find someone that I find attractive, I find that I am somewhat captivated by them. 
James is definitely the ONE in my book that I hold to be the top of my attraction, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t find other men attractive; in fact, if I said that I didn’t, that would be a lie. Anyone that says they don’t find other people attractive are lying. It is part of human nature to look for what we find attractive; the line just exists where you should never touch if you are in a relationship (at least, it is present and solid in mine; which may not work for everyone, but it works for us).
Now that I have gotten the formalities out of the way about the relationship thing, I want to talk more about that attraction I mentioned. I find that when I am watching a movie or a show, or anything really (pictures, on the internets, etc.), where I see someone that I find attractive, I usually say so. With James, he likes me to then affirm how much more attractive he is to me, which I honestly don’t mind doing, and usually do without even being asked. I find that I feel the need to say someone is attractive mainly because they are so captivating to me, and are taking up so much of my attention, so much so, that it may be the main thing that I am focused on. Take for instance the guy pictured above. This is Robert Best from this season’s Project Runway. To me, he is very attractive (although, I think he is much cuter with his glasses on. picture from fourfour’s fabulous PR recap.), so I find myself, when watching the show, constantly looking for him, and when he is on screen, maintaining a constant focus on him. I am even looking forward to watching the show tonight, so that I can see mr. attractive on screen.
Likewise, there is the guy in the Kashi commercial, Greg (pictured here). For some reason, I just find him really attractive, so, even though we have DVR, I always watch that commercial. Now I found it on you tube, and I don’t have to wait for commercial breaks to see him, yay! He is just very attractive to me, and as such, I like to watch. I am definitely one who likes to watch people that I find attractive. And what does that mean, really? Or does it even need to mean anything? Who knows.
Do any of you have a similar response when you see someone attractive? The obvious extreme for me is Jake Gyllenhaal, where I felt the need (and still do) to get every movie he was in, so that I could see him any time I wanted. And I do. I love Jake. LOVE Jake. And I love looking at him and other men that I find attractive. I don’t think that means that I am less attracted to James because of it, but it is something that I think about a lot, so I thought I would share. Attraction is one of the principle keys to my attention, I am a very visual person, and as such, when I see someone attractive, I tend to focus on them.
Who are some of your crushes/attention grabbing people that you find yourself drawn to? Do you have similar relationships with attractiveness? How so? Am I alone on this one? (I doubt it, but just casting a wide net, here). AND, this is not limited to men (for the straight guys), do you think the same about women? Or is it just body parts?
I don’t think I quite get it. Do you still find James attractive?
obviously. I find him so incredibly attractive that sometimes I wonder how someone could actually be that attractive. Seriously. He is hot stuff.
Okay, just wanted be sure.
I don’t think I’m the freakazoid like you, but yes, I love looking at the ladies fine forms. If I spot one in the wild I’ll keep my attention on her as long as possible… until she looks at me of course, then I turn my head and hope she didn’t see me staring/drooling at her.
As far as chicks on tv, same thing. I’ll watch a tv show or movie simply because of the hottie chick that it’s in it.
Hell, being a straight guy I’ve got the heavy girl/girl fantasy going on for me and will watch lesbionic shows/movies just to see the two chicks together. Even a moderately attractive chicks gets hotter when they’re into other chicks.
I know what you mean when you say you find James MOST attractive. I should wear glasses for seeing far, but I don’t. I work part time in a gay restaurant. I see attractive people all the time. Most of the time the thought goes in and out. “Oh he’s cute. She’s really pretty, wonder if she IS a lesbian.” Now like I said, far vision is a little, um not exact. I can see things but can’t make out details. Well there is this one guy that walks in and EVERYTIME I do a double-take and say, WHOA. As the figure walks closer.. its Ted.
I, too, think Robert Best is the most attactive designer this season.
If I hear Heidi Klum say “Everyone is on Pins and Needles” one more time, I’m going to bomb Germany.
I have two boys that completely captivate me, and when they are on screen, or in a magazine, I can focus on nothing elese.
1) Christian Bale
2) Hayden Christensen
They both make me stop in my tracks, and take notice of their beauty.
I’ve always been a face man. Perfect bodies don’t really do it for me but ya gotta be cute!!! I love people watching too and am attracted a wide range of men (age, race, body type, etc). The older I get the more I find myself attracted to women. I love women’s bodies and find women who exude a confidence in their femininity and sex appeal really freakin hot!
I just got out of a relationship where it was NOT cool for me to comment on the attractivenss of someone else. My boyfriend and I would always wind up in some long, drawn out processing around what it meant, blah, blah, blah. I think it really said a lot about his (in)security, in his own attractiveness and my attraction to him. Not fun! Its great that you can ackowledge your attraction to othere (bears!) without causing disruptions in your relationship.
Since I’ve met Chris, I don’t look at other guys the same way. Sure, I notice attractive guys, but not in the same, lusty way I used to. However, I get a little un-comfortable when he mentions another cute guy.
As I write this I’m watching the repeat of last week’s Project Runway. Literally two minutes before I started reading your blog entry today I thought to myself that Robert Best is quite cute (I didn’t even notice him last week). On the other extreme Malan is just too awful for words, particularly when he starts laughing or making his supercilious comments. The guy with the tattooed neck and the hoodie gives me the creeps as well.
I’m in the thoes of breaking up with my bf and I had the same problem with him as you did with yours, Byron. I’d also comment on cute guys which would piss him off every time. The annoying thing was I know he was thinking exactly what I was. At least I’d point out the cuties and share them with him. All I do is look. I’ve never even come close to cheating in 5 years.
I find the older I get the broader the range is of people I find attractive. In my teens and 20’s I used to like only smooth muscular or skinny boys, preferably younger than me, now I find myself looking even at overweight hairy men in their 50’s and thinking they’re not so bad. And that’s a good thing.
Simon, I am sorry that you are breaking up with your BF. As for this:
I have found myself change what I find attractive so much since I first came out. The best example, is the guy greg from kashi that I mentioned. He is so hot to me, and he is heavier set, and older. I never thought that would be what I find attractive, but more and more I find that it is. I honestly think that is part of growing and maturing; you realize that there are many different kinds of beauty out there, and the skinny, muscular “perfects” aren’t the only people that are beautiful. Me, I love a belly, and I am not afraid to admit it!
I thought I was the only one that had the hots for the Kashi guy.
My standards have always been broad. I find a person’s character SO much more attractive than a flat stomach or a dimpled chin. A pretty face or body only goes so far with me these days. When I look at a guy I’m more likely to wonder if he’s someone I’d like to be hanging out with months from now than what he looks like naked. Of course the naked thing is nice too.
: )
Ok, I admit it, Dean Cain.
At last i find a comment about Greg the kashi guy. This guy has me so turned on. As far as attraction goes, beyong the physical appearance, details like the smile, and other subtilities do break or make what i find cute, handsome, attractive or sexy. The hellenic or conventional beauty doesnt stir any bone in me (no puns intended) i find it 2 dimensional and perhaps too defined, accepted and expected. Beauty for the lazy.
Greg (kashi man or lookalikes) appeals to other senses and redefines our scale of esthetisme.
ahem..
ps:(Pathetic Scream) anyone knows who this guy is?
I met a girl at a party and we hit off. As we were dancing I saw this other girl that I had wanted to talk to before I met the one I was dancing with and gave her a smile. I guess I still wanted to talk to her and found her attractive…more attractive I guess than the one I was with. Of course, I mean in the physical shallow sense. There is always someone cuter, someone more appealing physicaly, nicer out there, just as their is always someone not as attractive, not as funny etc. Angelina Jolie for example will probably always be more attractive than a girlfriend I may have, but what does that mean? Loving someone is about so much more that how you rate them from a scale from one to ten on looks isn’t? Is it bad to think someone is better looking that the person you are with or interested in? Seriously, looking for an answer to these questions, I find myself racked with guilt…I mean I can’t say anything, but at the same time, it sounds awful to something like that…that no, you are not as a attractive as her. Not that I would say that, since that is a death wish and cruel. Is it just a don’t ask, don’t tell thing?
I’m a lot like you on this one. I’ll watch teevee shows and commercials for cute guys [the stupid Devry guy with the adorable dimples, remember him?] though I’m a lot less prone to watching movies for them. My fave guys: Jake G., Sufjan Stevens, Chris Evans. Anyone who reads my blog more than a few times [sorry for them] probably notices that I have that fixated thing you’re describing. I end up using pictures of guys I find attractive to make really odd [and often somewhat disfigured or at least obscured] images. Um, that sounds a lot weirder than I meant it. Anyhow, I think it’s pretty healthy to find lots of people attractive. That monolithic, jealous kind of “love” scares me.
I am so happy someone else noticed Greg the Kashi guy. I almost fell off the couch the first time I saw that commercial. He is a total dream date to me. My other current crushes include; Zak Galifinakis (especially as he continues to get pudgier) and nfl offensive lineman Joe Andruzzi. I think this is a great discussion. While I am not into the pretty boys (Jake G, Christian B., etc) it is very interesting to hear from others that are but also think Greg is hot. I can appreciate why many find the current media defined standard of male beauty attractive, it just doesn’t do anything for me. I will take an “average” looking man with a bit of a belly, hair (facial and otherwise) anyday over a cut pretty boy.