James calls me this morning for my usual morning wake up call, and he was all upset for some reason. Turns out, someone came in the middle of the night and stole 4 or 5 of our azalea bushes that we had planted on the hill beside our house. They came, dug them up, and took them. Seriously. They dug up our landscaping and took it.
Now, the part of this that makes me the maddest, is that James has spent countless hours (and money) in the yard trying to make the place look decent. We were finally getting it to look great, and shit like this happens. I just can’t believe that spineless fuckers like that just want to take what you have worked hard to have. Does no one respect people anymore? I know for a fact that I have never stolen anything (well, other than that pack of M&M’s when I was little, which I had to march back into the store, and not only pay for, but my mom made me put back… so I definitely knew stealing was a NO NO), and why? Because I knew it wasn’t mine. And even more so, because I know that the person that I would be taking from doesn’t deserve to have their shit jacked, just because I want it. See, it doesn’t work that way, if you want shit, you have to go and buy it, or have someone give it to you, and we definitely are not giving our landscaping to any old asshole who rolls up in the yard and wants it.
I am glad that it wasn’t very much money that was stolen, but honestly, it isn’t about the monetary value of what is gone; it is the principle of what happened. While we were sleeping, some asshole thought that they deserved to have nice landscaping, and since we had nice landscaping, they figured they could just jack it from us. The best part, is that they came prepared; they had little bags to put the plants in, you know, in order to prevent dirt and whatnot from getting in their car (which I am assuming is how they got away). Not only did they dig up those plants, they managed to trample all of the ones around it, so those are gone too. I really wish I would have seen them, because I believe I would have lost it.
But the worst part, is now we are worried that they will come again; either while we are at work, or during the night again. Motion lights apparently don’t scare these fuckers, the place where the plants were stolen has a huge flood light shining on it. It was just light for them to see what they were doing. All I can hope, is that these spineless thieves get the karma they deserve. I at least hope the plants that they took die; that would be at least an ounce of solace that I will never truly know about it, but want anyway. All I know, is that I am definitely going by Lowe’s today, and getting some of those yard signs and writing the following on it:
Stealing Landscaping? Make sure and smile for the cameras!
Maybe that will dissuade future thieves from taking what ISN’T theirs, and lead the them leaving us the fuck alone. James and I are seriously looking into home surveillance, and even if we don’t get it, there is no way they will actually know whether or not they are being filmed. Maybe that will make a difference. I still just can’t believe it, I mean seriously, $40 worth of azaleas? Was it really worth it? Man, this really pisses me off…
As promised… PICTURES OF THE SCENE OF THE CRIME!
Notice the holes where the plants used to be.
They did leave one of them!
Trampled other plants.
The bags they used to “stay clean”. Fuckers.
The whole hill, where our plants used to be. Sigh.
That’s so fucked up. Sorry
seriously? who DOES that?
Sell your house and move to Alpharetta.
Please don’t sell and move to Alpharetta. Our hood needs good people like you and James.
However, I do suggest you report the theft to the police. It’s not much money but we need to report all problems like this so.
I miss living in a community in which I can leave windows open and do not have to have an alarm system. However I believe in intown living and love the fact that I can walk to the Village.
That sucks man. Where are the neighborhood lesbians when you need them?
I want to second the move to Alpharetta comment
But seriously, putting your sign up assumes that the thieves can actually read.
I say you invest in land mines.
I can’t believe that someone would dig plants out of the ground and take them. What kind of shit is that?
Next time they’ll probably siphon the water out of your pond.
I’ve always found that surounding my property with concertina wire always keeps the thieves away. Of course, I have desert landscaping–stealing cacti hurts.
Aww sorry to hear that.
You should at least look into getting some fake security signs or something.
I’m with Dave…land mines. Especially if you have a camera running. That would be awesome.
I’m thinking you need to plant more, hide in the bushes with a bat and them put the smack down on the blue haired granny that stole the first batch.
I’d be heart broken too, it’s the worst when someone steals something that you put real effort into.
Bitches will get run over by karma at some point.
Don’t let Ted fool you, they’ll steal the cactus too. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
That shit happened at my office a few years back. My Grandpa drove up on a man digging up our flowers along side of our office building tossing them in the back of his truck. He saw my Grandpa and jumped in his truck and drove off like a bat out of Hell. Grandpa got out of his car yelling then jumped back in his car and took off after him. We have not had any plant thieves since. Yatta!
I don’t wish death on your kidnapped plants I just hope every year the plants bring the worst kind of insect to them so thay can’t enjoy your plants without being stung by Karma…
Razor wire and landmines might cause trouble with your homeowner’s insurance. I’d go with a artistically places patches of poison ivy or whatever poisonous plants do well in your area. (and some sort of home surveillance sounds like a good investment as well).
That is even worse than the assholes that stole the Christmas Decortaions from our house this past Winter (lights and all). At least the decorations wern’t living obects that had to actually be dug out of the ground, that is totally insane!
Replace the Azaleas with Barberry Bushs, they are cute little shrubs that have cleverly hidden sharp thorns. Just an idea.
I had never heard of plant stealing until I moved to Atlanta. WTF? I hear its pretty common, especially in the Va. Highlands. The Japanese Maple is the most stolen plant from what I understand.
That sucks, I can totally feel your pain. About 20 years ago my family moved into a place on a street of mostly 2-family homes. My mother went out to get the mail and found a woman digging up the massive (as in pony-sized) azalea bush in the front yard. Apparently the woman, who now lived 2 houses down, had planted it several years earlier and wanted it back.
Some people are just really, really ignorant.
Some times I just hate people for what they do. However, I could not laugh at all abou
Hey boo, je suis desolee!
First, you should definately file a report.
Second, you should totally put a fucking sign in your yard that says,
“To the theives who stole the azaleas from our yard - may god have mercy on your soul.”
Not that they would care, but some people get creeped out by that kind of stuff.
I am thinking razor wrap hidden around the base of the next set. You’ll know it’s there, but they won’t.
If all else fails, I’ll sit up all night with you. I’ll bring my rifle; you can’t just watch and laugh.
That TOTALLY SUCKS!! When I lived in California, I had large Sago palms in my yards. Once in a while I would read about “Sago theft” in the paper and worry I’d wake up one morning to big holes in the ground. Never did, but hated the thought that I had to even think about it.
Or - “a pox on your house!”
That’s crazy!!! Who steals plants, and especially azaleas, which are practically weeds around here. Sheesh.
*massive hugs to you both*
Man! I can barely believe that. And I understand how it is the violation that makes you so angry.
Because we live in military housing, we are able to own a home thousands of miles away. Last year the police called to tell us that someone had been living in our house. It turns out that extended family had been squatting in our house and throwing parties and selling drugs. Nothing was stolen, through some things were ruined. But it made me want to hurt somebody really bad! That’s my home!
Thank god for my gay posse who has taken over our home protection.
I hear you - someone’s been making the rounds at our community garden, helping themselves to whole plants.