Basically, this post is a venting that comes from a back and forth “debate” I have been in with someone calling themselves “right winger”, on the Boy Scouts post from a few days ago. Basically, this person has taken it upon themselves to inform me that homosexuality is a choice, and that it is wrong. Even though I have informed right winger that to say that is ignorant and judgemental, s/he still insists that homosexuality is a choice and is, again, wrong (according to his/her beliefs), and that because other people have those beliefs, that is isn’t ignorant or bigoted. Well, this may come as a shock, but I wholeheartedly disagree; and here’s why.
Homosexuality is no more a choice than heterosexuality. I know this, because I didn’t choose to be homosexual; I just am. The same way that people that are heterosexual are just heterosexual. To suggest that homosexuality is a choice, is suggesting that heterosexuality is also a choice, and I don’t think that is something that heterosexuals like right winger are prepared to own up to. Right winger compares the “choice” of homosexuality and the participation in homosexual behavior to things like alcoholism and smoking, but what right winger doesn’t seem to understand, is that even alcoholism has ties to genetics, and it also suggests that if a heterosexual man were given enough penis, and exposure to homosexual activity, then he would potentially develop an addiction (pun definitely intended) to it and “turn” homosexual. I doubt that right winger would want to admit that part, though.
But enough of trying to simply rebuke the ignorant statements made by right winger, I would like to turn our attention to actual evidence that homosexuality is no more a choice than eye color or skin tone. The American Psychological Association says:
There are numerous theories about the origins of a person’s sexual orientation; most scientists today agree that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. There is also considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person’s sexuality. In summary, it is important to recognize that there are probably many reasons for a person’s sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people.
So it is a complex interaction of environment, cognitive, and biological factors that determine homosexuality. That last one seems like it isn’t something you get to decide to me. I am sure that the age at which someone understands their sexuality, and the level at which they express it is determined by environment (i.e. being raised in a tolerant home vs. being raised in a bigoted one), but even the APA is saying that it is more complex than simply influence; there’s a genetic predisposition for it. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think you can choose your genetics. And even if you could, that is only a part of it, at least, according the APA. Additionally, the APA indicates that homosexuality is not a choice, and cannot be changed. I for one trust the APA more than a bible toting preacher from the black-hating church down the street. I would think the APA are more tolerant and less judgemental, and um, also they are doctors and real scientists; not just opinionated so and sos.
As someone who is gay, I can honestly say that regardless of what caused me to be this way, it wasn’t because I woke up one morning and decided to be gay. I was born gay, and was able to fully understand and accept who I am after years of struggling to find myself. Trust me, if I could have skipped all that shit because I was banging a cheerleader in high school, I would have. Being gay is tough, and it is always the ignorant heteros that are so quick to forget about that; or did you forget that you were the ones calling me a faggot all those years, and making me want to kill myself because I thought something was wrong with me? This of course does not apply to all heteros, because I know that all of you do not share these negative views of homosexuals and homosexuality; so just ignore that last part, umkay?
Lastly, we also must consider that homosexuality is not exclusively a human trait. In fact, homosexuality occurs naturally in nature everywhere you turn. Interestingly enough, one of our closest genetic species, the bonobo ape, has been well documented as regularly participating in, and maintaining homosexual activity and relationships. The reason why this is so important, is that without the same environmental factors that people argue “cause” homosexuality, these apes are still being homosexual! These apes have a more fluid sexual identity, and participate in activities that feel right to them; what instinctively they feel most comfortable with. It seems that even in nature, homosexuality is natural, and comes instinctively. As humans with our incessant need to classify and explain things, we tend to shy away from the gray areas that exist in our lives, and deny that our sexuality is very similar, and that there is fluidity that many of us embrace, while others shun. If this is the reason why you believe that homosexuality is wrong and is choice, because you have homosexual tendencies and choose to deny them, well, then that is a whole different ball game, and a whole lot of therapy in your future. Homosexuality isn’t a check yes or check no type of thing; there are varying levels and degrees of everything, and it just happens to be at one end of the spectrum. I suggest looking at Kinsey’s work for more on that scale.
Finally, I want to express why I felt the need to discuss this in this incredibly long post today. It makes me defensive and frankly hurt when someone even suggests that something I have struggled my whole life with, and continue to struggle with today (via bigoted legislation, hurtful judgement of others, etc) is something I chose to go through. Saying so indicates a apathetic view of what gays and lesbians struggle with, and is frankly hateful. Additionally, to suggest that there is something wrong with me, is not something I will just take and move on. I am sick and tired of being treated like shit because of who I am, and I’ll be damned if I will take it lying down. Being gay is obviously not a choice to someone who is gay, mainly because they know what it means, and how it as effected and will continue to affect their lives. Those that judge, scorn, and place ignorant claims on me and who I am should know that I won’t take it lightly, and I will not just let it go; but the sad thing is, many people like this right winger are never going to be able to see past their own pathetic selves, and we’re the ones that have to put up with their ridicule. Well, at least I can say something about it… that at least makes me feel a little better.
Thanks for paying attention.
I love this post. When I came out, my sister was the only person who had difficulty with the fact that I am gay. In her words, “my choice”. I would debate with her that it was not a choice at all. It just was. She finally saw the light when my niece told her she was a lesbian. For whatever reason, my sister didn’t see her as “chosing” lesbianism and the “choice” issue dropped forever.
girl/girl is hot
Here’s my script for a “Choose Pussy” ad:
INT. BAR (EVENING)
RAMONE, a dapper fellow dressed in a leapord-skin printed trench coat, yellow leather pants, and wearing a Stetson cowboy hat with an 18-inch orange feather protruding from the top sits on a velvet couch surrounded by seven scantily-clad ghetto mamas.
CUT TO EXT. HIGH SCHOOL SOCCER FIELD (NIGHT)
JACOB, South Georgia High School soccer’s leading scorer, bobs and weaves his way around two Valdosta High School defenders and plants a corner kick over the goalie’s head.
CUT TO CLOSE-UP OF JACOB
(dejected goalie holding his head in his hands can be seen in the background, Jacob holds a cheerleader on each arm)
CUT TO EXT. CITY SIDEWALK
CALVIN, a mid-twenties yuppie wearing a blue dress shirt and black dress pants, pays a newstand operator for the latest issue of Harper’s. A sharp-looking brunette in a gray hip-hugging pant suit walks up to him and pinches his ass.
FADE TO BLACK
Fade in the words “Choose Pussy” in white letters.
Fade in the words “Paid for by the Partnership for a Cock-Free America” in white letters.
It amazes me that Heterosexual people can’t get it through their head that it’s not a choice. It’s very hard for them to grasp the concept that they didn’t have a choice and neither do we.
I want to vomit when I see pussy - if I was meant to be straight I don’t think that would happen.
Well put. It’s just sad when people are so close-minded to think that sexuality is so black and white and the same for everyone. (to them) You don’t know how I feel or why I have the feelings I do, so don’t attack me for being myself, for doing what comes naturally to me.
Blah. Anyway. LOL at the “I choose pussy” campaign.
Great post, Duane. I think Right Winger also like to push your buttons. I love what you wrote back to her/him.
I’m not sure why I was compelled to read that nut’s comments, but I did. I love how he/she thought it was okay to think that gay = wrong becouse or his/her beliefs. As if, well, my beliefs tell me that it’s okay to eat babies, so it is. That’s called brainwashing. Lordy. And that person bred. Blech.
I’m so sick of the whole gay is a choice thing that I won’t even get involved in an discussion about it. I’m liable to hit the moron. Thanks Duane for the long post. Hopefully a few right wing homophobic assholes will read this and if it makes them at least think then you have done well. But don’t count on it.
I thought of you today, Duane.
Lesbian at lunch: You know, I was OK when the Dixie Chicks were blasting George Bush. But when they started in on Reba McIntire, well, they’ve just gone too damn far.
When they start losing the dykes, it’s over.
Yo, Shan!
You may want to include the word ’some’ in there. Not all heteros feel that way and I being a big opponent of blanket statements just wanted to make sure you were aware of that.
dave, I don’t think that he meant all… it is just easy to make statements like that when you are mad. I am always careful to say “not all” when I refer to the heteros!
Jake, didn’t Reba make fun of them at the CMA’s? WTF was that all about? besides, I would take the Chicks’ side ANY DAY.
duane, I figured as much, but I just wanted to make fun of myself a la the “big opponent to blanket statements” line.
To me, the “some” is a pretty obvious implication in that statement. Like when feminist bloggers write about men doing this or that. Obviously that doesn’t mean all. Duh.
Alright Amber, I was making a freaking joke about MYSELF by posting that which you would have seen had you read the comment directly above yours.
Of course, when I make “generalized” statements you seem swift to come down on me … and oh yeah, what was it BofA that published a list of like 100 different minority groups of which they supported but because they left out gender you get your panties in a tizzy?
Amen to that post duane.
amen duane!
I’m not gay but I think the post is great. I’ve been arguing the same points for awhile now.