After reading an article about the fucking Easter egg roll, of all things, this morning, I am LIVID. I just want to know one thing, why is it so weird and hard to understand for straight people that all we want is to be seen as, and treated as, NORMAL??? That’s right! Being normal isn’t a fucking political agenda! It is just us wanting to be seen as we are; NORMAL! We want you to get off of our backs and stay out of our bedrooms. We want you to stop telling us what we can and can’t do, and stop taking our rights away! This nation is supposed to be free! We are all supposed to be equal! So why then, is it so weird, and strange, and hard to fucking understand that we want that too!???
I sometimes forget what I have. I sometimes forget who I am, because living in Atlanta, and having the great friends that I do, being gay doesn’t really matter. Being gay is just part of who I am, and they accept me for that. But, when I read articles about the hatred and bigotry that still festers and grows in this nation, it is a chilling reminder that there are tons of people out there that hate me; because of who I am, and who I have always been. And those that don’t hate me, but just don’t “care for my kind” aren’t any better. They don’t see me as normal either, and that is a problem. It isn’t who I have sex with, IT IS WHO I AM! Being gay is being me. And I AM NORMAL!!!!!!
I guess I just don’t understand, nor will I ever understand, how wanting to be normal and be treated fairly is a political issue. Those gay families were not there protesting for gay marriage, in fact, all they were there to do, was be visible, and show that gay families exist and are NORMAL (there’s that word again!). That’s all that they wanted, and so many people had a problem with that, and had a problem with gay families identifying themselves with leis. How are letting you children roll eggs, while you stand back and watch wearing a lei, political actions? How is being normal and doing something that EVERYONE else is doing, political?! People like this TOOL (ha!) said this:
“I think it’s inappropriate to use a children’s event to make a political statement,” said Mark D. Tooley of the Institute on Religion and Democracy.
Well you know what I think is inappropriate?? Your judgement and persecution! How is bringing your children to an event, and allowing them to participate, a political statement douchebag? HOW? HOW????!?!??!?!?!?!?! I am serious. Very serious. Explain to me how being a normal gay parent and wearing a lei showing that you are a PROUD gay parent, is a political statement? It isn’t! It is a “hey, mutherfucker, I am NORMAL” statement, douchebag. So get off of our backs already, PLEASE!
Sorry for the rant, but things like this really break my hope that we will one day be able to just be people and not have to worry about stupid shit like this being thrown in our faces all of the time. Straight people (even the ones that I LOVE) cant’ truly understand what it is like to be gay, and I believe that is therefore the reason why it is taken for granted. Every new situation we find ourselves in, be it shopping, getting gas, meeting new people, starting a new job; all of those things require that we come out ALL OF THE TIME. Sure, there are a few instances were it isn’t even mentioned, or may go unnoticed, but for the most part, we are constantly coming out of the closet, and I believe that may be what can’t be understood, and leads to this justification of calling everything we do to normalize ourselves, “political”. I wish that people could just understand that we are in fact, not different, we are just people, people who love, and want to live like everyone else. We are people too goddammit, and I am sick and fucking tired of being treated differently. I am sick of that fucking look when I order something, and you realize that I am a cocksucking faggot. I am sick of it, and I don’t think I am the only one.
All I can say, is that you have pissed off one more… And I can honestly say, that I am going to remember this shit for the rest of my life, and I hope that I don’t lose this fire I have right now; because it can only help me and the rest of us. And some may think that I am sweating the small stuff, but when you are a second class citizen, it is all small stuff. It always will be until we are treated as NORMAL.
Hey D, sounds like its going to get even more interesting when you consider the article on the GOP refining its agenda for the upcoming elections. I don’t pretend to know anything at all about American politics, but I can comment on the fact that even here in Canada our new Prime Minister has promised his electorate that they will revisit the same-sex marriage debate. Again. Against popular opinion. It will NOT go away any time soon - but it WILL get better over time. The tide will turn and the shift in political thinking will come. In the meantime, if we get over this hurdle in Canada, come hide out here. Other than the weather, you’ll love it - we’ve got cool people here too, you know!
Don’t let the bastards get you down babe!
P.S. If they even THINK about overturning same-sex marriage here, I’ll be getting hitched immediately so I can fight the bastards.
Well, I think an easter egg hunt at the WHITE HOUSE is by default, a politicized event. It’s not like going to your local park. It is appropriate to wear something that makes a unifying statement for that reason alone. We might BE individually normal (whatever that means), but being a gay family is not a normal experience - because other people treat us like walking social experiments, circus acts, freak shows, evil-incarnate. I applaud the attempts of these LGBT families to show their unification in the face of adversity, especially on the lawn of this particular white house. Of course, no matter how peaceful our statements, the religious right and neo-conservative nutjobs will be all over us like flies on shit with their anti-gay, destroying-the-fabric-of-society, perverting-our-children rhetoric. If they want to meet someone out to do all that (in fact, quite successfully), they only need look in the mirror. Hypocrites.
Maybe I’m lucky or more worldly in that I had the pleasure and honor of attending one of the first lesbian weddings in Massachusettes. Family friends of my wife and here family.
Briefly: together 12 years. Pillars of their community. Homeowners. Taxpayers. Beautiful, honest, NORMAL people.
I see it from my Brother-in-law too. He’s been in a committed relationship now for 3 years with a dude I would marry. A funny, acerbic, quick-witted comic book geek who mixes a mean Cape Coder.
Both of these couples - and every gay couple I’ve met for that matter - seem just as “normal” as anyone else.
The same kinds of problems as everyone else, seeking the same kinds of fulfillment and joy.
People just need to see it to internalize it and believe it, so kudos to those families that atttending the Easter Egg hunt.
My two cents.
I just want people to realize I am an asshole after they’ve talked to me, not before.
“Normal” is such a strange concept. I think a lot of times it gets equated with “majority” and that’s not necessarily something I aspire to. However I understand your perspective on this and I think society still has a long way to go before we as gay people are viewed as equal.
I agree that coming out is a continuous process and I believe it’s a step toward that future of equality. It educates the people that know and interact with us that being gay is a small part of who we are and we don’t spend every moment of the day sucking cock. Now that’s not to say that you should introduce yourself as gay, but you also shouldn’t have to change pronouns when talking about the weekend or your love life.
I think I’m just rambling now so I’ll stop.
Fucking haters. Gah, makes me want to hit things!
John: the problem is, that with society being how it is, it is a crap shoot when you feel like you may or may not feel comfortable using the proper pronouns. I have gotten to where I say partner pretty much every time, but there are times when I know that I shouldn’t take a stand; my safety may depend on it, and that is just flat out wrong. You are totally right, but I just feel like it is more than that sometimes. Like I said, being second class, everything is small, and everything counts.
Being gay does not make one person any different from another who is straight, but that doesn’t mean that you, duane, are normal.
I think one of our biggest challenges is educating people and dispelling the propaganda/myths about who we really are. Like John said above, coming out is a huge step in this process. So is being honest about who you really are. It’s a struggle for many and a huge risk for some but it is totally necessary if we’re ever going to get people to see us as people and not caricatures.
Talking about our lives and struggles with people is another important step. I’ve had people say things to me like “well you don’t act gay, not like those OTHER guys”. And I always counter with “it doesn’t matter, because I AM gay just like those other guys and I face the same crap that they do it’s just not as obvious”. Again, it’s about education and discussion. Providing a real life example of a person who faces discrimination is a much more persuasive argument than a newspaper full of articles.
“The gay and lesbian couples, who wore rainbow-colored leis, said they wanted to give their children an opportunity to have fun while making a political statement that they should be welcome.” Quote from USA Today. Sounds like a political statement to me.
I can’t imagine how hard that is to deal with, having people deny you the basic parts of life the rest of us can do without question. It’s not right.
I am not “NoRmAl” nor do I wish to be call that ugly word. Maybe I hate the word so much because I know I have never been it, at least not in the eyes of anyone who ever looked at me. I give people the same respect they show me. I do my best to change one person at a time. I truly believe things are getting better than they have been, Duane. It’s not perfect and some people will always treat us and others badly. I still hold onto hope.
“of who I am, and who I have always been” These words made me smile. You rock! I hope your back gets to feeling better buddy.
Is your back still hurting? Email me dude, lemme know what’s up, maybe I can help.
You know, I was thinking. It seems we have lost that fire. I watched the Stonewall documentary several months ago and I wondered what happened. Maybe it’s cause we have made so many gains in the recent years that we’re still celebrating and haven’t really woken up from the party the night before. I wish we had the fire like the Hispanic/Latino/Chicano movement of late. It’s like we’re just sitting around looking at our rights being flushed down the toilet by conservative bigot assholes and saying, “ah fuck it”, I’m too hungover (metaphorically speaking).
Notice that that is an excerpt from what the paper wrote, not a direct quote from one of the gay parents. It should be taken w/ a grain of salt.
I am totally with Amber; because the groups that organized the event for LGBT parents SPECIFICALLY said it WASN’T a political statement, in fact they stressed that the only reason was increase visibility of gay parents, and show that gay families are just like other families; normal.