Or just a poem:
I forbid myself from thinking,
I forgave myself for dreaming,
To focus on my pain.
I waken what’s been weeping,
I wrestle what’s been wailing,
But I feel it just the same.
No better now,
No closer to how,
And too fragile to touch.
Just need to move,
Like I have something to prove,
But I honestly don’t know how much.
A fine piece of china,
A constant reminder,
Of exactly what I’ve become.
Scared of being broken,
And not noticing I AM broken,
Makes it harder to overcome.
But I forbid myself from feeling,
I cut off the revealing,
I hide down in my cell.
I need to break out,
But I can’t move without,
A drink from an empty well.
I get tied up in thinking I’m fat,
Wondering how I look in this or that,
And let that distract me for a moment.
But underneath the distraction,
Is a needed overreaction,
Or is it merely a cry for commitment?
Committing myself TO thinking,
Committing myself TO dreaming,
And focusing on my pain,
Wakening myself and moving,
Pushing myself and proving,
That only I can effectively gain,
That only I can effectively change,
That only I can rearrange,
That which I see,
That which is wrong with me.
And no, I am not THAT upset. Just poopy days. Ah, you know.
It’s because you’re not going to Sweetwater today, right?
You know me so well, Lori! Wednesday, though, right???!!
I’m there.
Cheer up - I LOVE U!! :>)
Poopy days pass I know it may not seem like it but they do
I LOVE that poem.
If you ever need to talk, you know I am always there.
I love your poems. This one makes me feel sad though. It is so very beautiful to me because I really feel your words deep down. “But I can’t move without, a drink from an empty well” “I forbid myself from thinking” “Too fragile to touch” “I hide” Your words map out the way I feel some days, but not this beatuiful Friday… I hope your weekend rocks!
~ Mark
Oh no. Oh, no.
Not another poopy day again, darling.
Duane, I’m watching you- put that spliff down!!!
Did I ever say that you’re fat? No. You ARE handsome, cheerful, nice, lean and mean and sporty and…and…and with beautiful toothpaste model’s teeth… OK? cheer up! x
Chin up Meredith Baxter!