Last night, James dragged me to a hockey game at Phillips arena. The Thrashers (who knew that they were named after the Georgia state bird, the Brown Thrasher; or more importantly, who knew that the Thrasher was the Georgia state bird?) were playing the Nashville something-or-others; eh, I’m not gonna lie. I really wasn’t that into it when we went; but, I found myself actually having fun! Who knew that hockey was cool, no pun intended, and that some of the players were so hot! I did actually have a good time, a 24oz beer is always a good thing (Martha, write that down, it’s a freebie, from me, to you).
Yeah, we had a great time, well, except for having to experience all of the overcompensating anti-gay shit people at sporting events do. For example, people kept yelling, “hey ref, get off your knees!”, which obviously is a derogatory statement about him blowing someone, rather than judging the game. Real mature fellas. Maybe you should read the post about sex, then we can all grow and mature and realize how wonderful blow jobs can be to give and receive. Moving on…
I think that the worst part, is that the event workers egg it on. They had a “kiss cam” (oh how fucking super-hetero do we have to be people, are we overcompensating for anything?), and would show couples on the screen, expecting them to kiss when they were shown. Then, at the end, they showed two guys, and everyone had a laugh when they pretended to kiss, as if to say that was unnatural, and was something that everyone should get a good laugh out of. Yeah, really funny; and again, really mature. Other than that, I dare say I had a good time; I just wish I didn’t have to sit there and witness all of the anti-gay sentiment in the arena. I also think that I may have overdosed on raw testosterone; I really wanted to head butt some guy in the lobby after the game just for the hell of it. That’s normal, right? Well, we are going again in a week, and this time, anti-gayness aside, I am actually kind of looking forward to going!
One more thing, because I thought this was pretty funny… After I came home from the game, I had a few drinks in me, and decided to go out with my good friend Steve. We went to Blake’s, and while I was talking to an old friend I hadn’t seen in a long time, one of his friends comes over, and I get introduced. I literally had said maybe 3 words, and this is what his genius friend hits me with:
“Who is this guy? I know who this guy is, he is boring dot com”
That’s right. He called me boring dot com. Um… yeah. You know how sometimes you just feel sorry for someone, instead of getting mad or whatever? This was one of those times. I hope you felt good about that when it came out dude, because it seriously made you look, and sound, like a complete idiot. And, duh, if you would have talked to me for more than 3 seconds, you would see that I am actually duanemoody dot com, okay!
It’s too bad they didn’t put you guys on camera. You could have given each other a sloppy open mouth saliva-slinger and made some of the flat earth types really uncomfortable.
Hockey is even more fun if you start off with one of those BIG beers from Gorin’s before the game.
fyi- Even we heteros hate the “kiss cam.” I yearn for the days when we weren’t bombarded with canned entertainment at every play stoppage (this goes for football and baseball as well).
You’re absolutely FAB, dear. You know that already, so who the hell is he anyway? He’s idiot.com…
P.S. I’m about the only Canadian who hates hockey, I think. I have a genetic aversion to it, I believe…
Duane, I love hockey games, it is so fun to go get tipsy and watch hot men beat the shit out of each other. Makes me want to find a hot boy and take out all my agression on hi…wow, did I take that too far? Sorry!
Boring.com, WTF? I love stupid drunk people who don’t have the sense to realize when they are acting like a fool.
And duanemoody.dot.com is DEFINITELY NOT boring. I mean, hello, sex, circumcision, Jake? Heloooooooo…McFlyyyyyyyyyy. Dumbass. Hey nice to meet you jackass dot com or Hey waayyyy too circumcized dot com. I hate jerks. He probably thought he was funny or something. Those poor sods. I too feel sorry for them LOL.
Hockey? Well, you can’t really be shocked or annoyed with the “who can act more straigh-fest”. Actually hockey is pretty cool. While at the UofA (Arizona, the only “A”, sorry) we used to watch the IceCats all the time. It’s a pretty exciting game but frustrating at the same time because not that many goals are scored. It’s a great excuse to drink lots of beer.
But I hear ya on the testosterone overload thing. The kiss-cam, how nice. But god do I HATE it when heterosexuals flaunt their sexuality in public like that. It’s disgusting. I mean it’s one thing to be hetero but to put in your face like that is just so wrong. Oh well, maybe we can make an amendment or something. Okay, I’m babbling, laterz.
Yea I actually like Hockey Games too, i’ve taken my kids a couple times. Of course I wont drink when they are with me, that would have made it even MORE fun!
Glad you had fun, and eh..nevermind that idiot at the club, this place is anything BUT boring.com!
Boring dot com? Oh hell no! He woulda got an earful from me.
Foxy D
Been telling you hockey games were fun for years! Glad you finally went. Maybe we can go next time.
The most awesome thing ever at the hockey game I went to several seasons ago was when, during halftime, they brought out these little half-pint kinds in some hockey little-league thingamabobbie and had them skate around for a few quick plays. They were so adorable I could almost cry! I started cheering for anyone, whether they had the puck or were trying to steal the puck, trying to score the goal or defend the net. At that age, it truly is 100% about the love of the game.
I knew the brown thrasher was the state bird of Georgia, but I never put two and two together with the name of the hockey team.
I wish someone would call me boring dot com. Okay, I wish somebody would call me anything dot com, but something like “boring” would be especially awesome. I yearn for that moment. I would have to go straight to a computer and blog it.
As for the kiss cam - yeah, fuck ‘em. The heterocentric bullshit is just that: bullshit. I’m with the GDBF, they shoulda put the camera on you and James to catch you guys sucking face. Vaguely (but not really) analogous was last night at trivia, when I [good-naturedly and mostly jokingly] got all up in Kelly the Trivia MC’s face about his category named “female hygiene.” The question was something like, “What is the most popular form of hair removal?” Okay, first there was a whole debate about how he was defining “popular,” so we asked for clarification and he wouldn’t give any. And then I just had to get all up in his face: “So, what are you trying to say here? That if a woman doesn’t shave her legs she’s not ‘hygenic’? Are you trying to subtly reinforce gender stereotypes with your trivia questions? Well, are ya??” And he was all like, “Oh, please, don’t make it into a whole thing.” And I was all, “I have to; that’s what I do.”
And, um, the answer was shaving.
Yes! Live hockey!
I saw my first Avalanche game this year and I’m totally addicted. I don’t know what it is - the beer, the aggro men, the chill in the air. It just gets my motor running.
I do remember the EXACT same thing you wrote about happening. Straights kissing, more straights kissing, then two men! Ha ha! AS IF two men would EVER kiss because that’s disgusting and deserves mocking laughter. I know we should just take it with a grain of salt, but I’m sick of taking things with a grain of salt….
Of course the perfect irony for boring dot com guy is to be written up here, where the cool kids hang out, where life is anything but boring. Now that I’m ‘out of the blogging closet’ with most of my friends it makes for a good threat/promise. As I said to one friend recently, after they said something monumentally silly, “You know I’m like going to have to write about this all over The Internets, don’t you? I have no choice.”
Personally, I found the “boring dot com” comment hilarious. If I had been there, I would have laughed. (But not because it’s true.)