duanemoody.com

Why is it that people feel the need to say, “œIt sure is coming down out there”, or, “œIt’s really raining out there, huh?”, when you walk into the building and are obviously completely soaked from the aforementioned rain? Did they think that I didn’t notice the rain that just soaked my pants? Did they think that I am so stupid that I don’t realize that it is rain that has just soaked my pants? Or, is it more likely, that they are mocking me for having gotten wet while they stood inside, all dry and warm? Just for the sake of argument, I am going to go with the last one. I would like to believe that people aren’t that stupid, as to think that I don’t know when it is raining, especially when I have just stepped inside out of the very same rain. I would hope beyond hope that they were not so stupid as to think that I don’t know what rain is. But perhaps? I mean, what would warrant such a response to my coming inside, soaked through from the rain? I must say, based on my “œrain experiences” that I may have been led to believe that people tend to just be mean, and are prone to going out of their way to mock you, whenever the opportunity presents itself. And apparently, when it is raining, is a great time. Because it is always funny when someone gets caught in the rain, right?

So as a little treat, here’s a message, to all you expert rain-noticer’s out there: Yes, I am aware that it is indeed rain that I just walked through. I am aware that it was rain that blew up under my umbrella and into my face, during the entire walk through the parking lot. I am also aware that it was rain that created that big ass puddle just before the door that I practically took a bath in. So, as a token of my gratitude, since you so kindly pointed out to me that which I was just soaked to the bone by, here’s my notice to you. From now on, I shall start replying to any mention of the conditions of rain, specifically rain that has drenched me solid, with a kind; “œNO WAY!!! It is raining??? IT NEVER RAINS?!?! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! And you are right! It IS coming down out there! HOLD ON! I HAVE A CAMERA! Can you get a picture of me with this, what did you call it again, oh yeah! Rain!! I don’t know what I would have done without you here to point out that it was really coming down out there, considering I just walked through it! Thanks a million! Seriously!

And then I think that I will just go all stoic for a minute before I walk away. Or I might just go limp and start to convulse. Either way, I’ll feel it out when the situation arises.

Soggy Music:
Weather Girls - It’s Raining Men
Geri Halliwell - It’s Raining Men (another, fabulous version)
Madonna (!!!) - Rain