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Paula, Paula, Paula. What is going on honey? I watched you last night on AI, and honestly, the only thought I had in my mind was, “What is that crazy biatch on?”. No seriously, what are you on? Is it meds, is it drugs, is it alcohol? WHAT? Now, I must admit Paula, I am a bit distressed, simply because I care. I really do. I have liked you since back in the day where it was ok to like ‘Cold-hearted Snake’ (the first CD I ever got was Paula Abdul’s Shut up and Dance: the Remixes… no joke) and it actually was adorable to watch you dance with a cartoon cat, because hey, opposites do attract. But honestly, I feel like you may have lost it Paula, and I am here to shake some sense back into you (picture Greg shaking Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest, getting her to admit that she is indeed crazy… wait for it, because she says it). I can honestly say that I want to work on things Paula. Stop the hit and runs. Stop the crazy dancing whilst AI contestants are performing, just sit there and enjoy it like the rest of us. GET OFF Simon. Let them do a Paula Abdul night on AI (hey this is a long shot, but I gotta throw it in there… I know you want to see one of those kids up there dancing and singing to ‘Forever Your Girl’, don’t lie), where you actually do a number. Give us something to believe the old Paula is still in there, and that you are not just anesthetizing her with booze. Your behavior has become noticeable, and while it is ok to drink, and sometimes even down right be a drunk, it is not okay when other people can point it out. So now that we have had this little talk, straighten your hair (remember the shaking), sit in your chair, and be the Paula we all grew to love. Because, Paula, it IS the way that you love me that knocked me out, and together, we can build the promise of a new day. PROMISE! Promise of a new day… PROMISE!…